Anne Frank report(thing for school how do you like)

[Inferno]

The Diary of fame
By Zen

hey guys how do you like this report I'm doing for school? don't mind the typos. just the draft. It made my mom cry:sniffle:(i don't think it was that sad. Anne Frank was a tennage girl who lived at the time of the houlcaust(spelling right?)



How would you feel if People like the Nazis took over your county, your home, your freedom? Imagine that you are a young Jewish teenager. The Nazis took your bike, you couldn’t go to a theater or any other public area. You weren’t allowed to go to a public school, you had to go to a special Jewish school. The is the story of a young girl, her name was Anne Frank. Caught up in the horrors of Nazi Germany, Anne Frank and her family were forced into hiding where Anne kept a diary which has become famous.
In 1933 the Nazis lead by Adolf Hitler took over Germany, thus the horrors of Nazi Germany began. They invaded Holland in 1940. Hitler hated the Jews because he wanted a pure race. He wanted to kill anyone who was not like him. He tried to kill African- Americans, Jews, the physically and mentally handicapped, and homosexuals. He hated Jews above all. Jews were absurdly forced to wear yellow stars that said “joodâ€

[Knives]

Very good A+

[Inferno]

I realy need feed back please post!

[blueraven]

As Knives said, A+ I wish I could give you some feedback but if you ask anyone I know who writes I really don't know how to put what I think into words. Your mother had every right to cry I think, but I can understand that. I mean, just thinking about any tragedy usually gets tears flowing for me. If you do look back in history many famous authors and artists where only made famous after their deaths and it is a shame that it had to happen to Anne. There is more I'd like to say but I'd be rambling then. Oh, and its "holocaust" ^.~

[Bobtheduck]

I honestly don't know how to comment on your age range... If you were a College student, I could tell you some things right up front.

1. It's "Holocaust" Holo for complete, and I think caust means destruction or death... I forget.
2. There were a number of gramatical errors. Incomplete sentances, shifting of person, and even the USE of second person (you) was certainly frowned on by my college English professor.
3. innocent, not innicint.

This is very much in the form of a Bullitin Board post, and so people reading this here may not be as inclined to point out problems.

I'll go sentance by sentance later on, if you want a real proofreading. You probably won't need to be as strict as what I'd put because you're not even in High School yet. Or, someone else could... Grammarian perhaps?

[Inferno]

i know i spelled Holocaust wrong and thank you for the spell check!

[Inferno]

BOB i said it was just the draft, and my teacher makes us add all this crap into our reports! like dress ups and openers and stuff! I just asked for feed back on how you like the report i don't want a lecture about the grammer! how would you have liked it if the grammer and spelling were all right?

[Bobtheduck]

Since you said this both in private and in Public, I'll say it here too. I read your intention wrong. I thought you DID want feedback on spelling and grammer. It's a good idea to get other people to proofread and you shouldn't take it personal when they point out mistakes. Other people do that because you can't. That's the way it allways is. I think you really overreacted and see no reason for you to have been offended.

"don't mind the typos" doesn't mean Don't correct the typos. You asked us what we thought, and from the perspective of an English teacher, your spelling and grammar would be corrected. That's what feedback is. It's not an insult, it's to help you, but if you didnt' want it, you shouldn't have posted to begin with.

If I ask for feedback, I don't want postive only. That's just plain rediculous. That's not really feedback.

[Inferno]

it's ok i forgive you!