Women pursuing men

[broly146]

From conversations I've had with male family and friends I do think that I, and possibly women in general, sometimes perceive guys as creepy when they are (apparently) just being nice.

I also have a problem of having creeper bells go off when a guy (that I don't really know) is overly friendly. I don't know why but I automatically think that they want something or, if it's someone I don't know, that they want to sell me something. This probably says more about my social skills than anything else though.

Maybe girls just have a more sensitive creeper alarm that sometimes trips too easily and always subjectively.

Ironically, I was listening to this song while reading this thread and thought to myself how I would find it "creepy" if was, for example, an unattractive man singing it. Unfortunate double standard, I guess.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-5GzjsxGU0

A problem that might arise with compliments is that if the girl has a bad self-image, compliments can actually make her feel worse, although that won't necessarily make the guy seem creepy.

I'm no girl, but I agree with you. When I start a conversation I usually start with a "Hi, how are you today?". I only give compliments to girls if I know them enough (like 2-3 years).

[Wind]

my view on this subject as well as many is that people have a right to make their own choices and they aren't any more or less than another person just because they choose differently. People are all different and God loves Diversity and all of Gods Children should love one another.

[Radical Dreamer]

Typically, I can tell the difference between when a guy is being creepy, and when a guy is just being nice. There have been instances where I've passed a random stranger on my way to class who complimented something about my appearance that came off as a genuinely kind thing to say. And then there have been instances where I've been barked at, cat-called, whistled at, etc. that come off as rude and 100% creepy. I don't think most women see all compliments as creepy, but there's certainly a difference between "hey, I like your outfit!" and "HEEY. REED. TURN AROUND, RED!" I mean seriously. XD

[broly146]

But, there are certain lines you don't want to cross.

[Yamamaya]

Typically, I can tell the difference between when a guy is being creepy, and when a guy is just being nice. There have been instances where I've passed a random stranger on my way to class who complimented something about my appearance that came off as a genuinely kind thing to say. And then there have been instances where I've been barked at, cat-called, whistled at, etc. that come off as rude and 100% creepy. I don't think most women see all compliments as creepy, but there's certainly a difference between "hey, I like your outfit!" and "HEEY. REED. TURN AROUND, RED!" I mean seriously. XD

Yep, there's a difference between flattery and just being flat out rude and obnoxious. I don't understand guys who do that as anything other than some kind of joke, because it's not going to win them any points.

BTW I would probably do an awesome pose if someone told me to "TURN AROUND RED."

[Mr. SmartyPants]

From conversations I've had with male family and friends I do think that I, and possibly women in general, sometimes perceive guys as creepy when they are (apparently) just being nice.

I also have a problem of having creeper bells go off when a guy (that I don't really know) is overly friendly. I don't know why but I automatically think that they want something or, if it's someone I don't know, that they want to sell me something. This probably says more about my social skills than anything else though.

Maybe girls just have a more sensitive creeper alarm that sometimes trips too easily and always subjectively.

Ironically, I was listening to this song while reading this thread and thought to myself how I would find it "creepy" if was, for example, an unattractive man singing it. Unfortunate double standard, I guess.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-5GzjsxGU0

A problem that might arise with compliments is that if the girl has a bad self-image, compliments can actually make her feel worse, although that won't necessarily make the guy seem creepy.

I think that a guy can be not-creepy when complimenting when he's got a lot of charm.

Charm works wonders. It's what gets girls willing to talk to you! Men! Let's all learn to be more charming!

Edit: BAM! http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Charming

[Maledicte]

Typically, I can tell the difference between when a guy is being creepy, and when a guy is just being nice. There have been instances where I've passed a random stranger on my way to class who complimented something about my appearance that came off as a genuinely kind thing to say. And then there have been instances where I've been barked at, cat-called, whistled at, etc. that come off as rude and 100% creepy. I don't think most women see all compliments as creepy, but there's certainly a difference between "hey, I like your outfit!" and "HEEY. REED. TURN AROUND, RED!" I mean seriously. XD

Same. I've been honked at/catcalled/whistled at since I was 16 and have enjoyed none of the attention. However, once a young man complimented me on my outfit while I was at the library, and he didn't follow me around or try to further engage me beyond that, since I was minding my own business. There's actually not a fine line between being lewd and being nice.

Also a huge difference between being pushy and insensitive ("Hey, SMILE! Why aren't you smiling??") and giving a genuine compliment ("You have a nice smile.").

[Yuki-Anne]

I don't mind being cat-called too much if I never see the person again, mostly because it's just a little flattering, and it can also be a pretty funny story if the person was ridiculous enough. Like, one time me and Laura (Zelda) were walking down the street and this car sped past, honked, and the person shouted out the window, "HOOOOOOTT!" It was just really funny. We never saw the person again so it wasn't creepy, it was just strange.

I'm kind of used to receiving compliments from strangers because I grew up in New Mexico and red hair is extremely rare there, so I got comments on it all the time. As long as someone just says something in passing and doesn't try to create a relationship out of thin air based on the fact that they like your looks, I think it's okay.

[Yamamaya]

I'm kind of used to receiving compliments from strangers because I grew up in New Mexico and red hair is extremely rare there, so I got comments on it all the time. As long as someone just says something in passing and doesn't try to create a relationship out of thin air based on the fact that they like your looks, I think it's okay.

That's happened to me as well. I've had quite a few ladies tell me that they want my hair color. Red hair is rare everywhere though.

[Yuki-Anne]

Not in [s]hell[/s]Missouri...

[Yamamaya]

Not in [s]hell[/s]Missouri...

Orly? That's interesting.

Funny story about red hair. One of my friends REALLY likes girls with red hair. I mean REALLY likes them. The funny thing was he converted me into really liking them as well, which is kind of strange considering I do have red hair. I never thought about my hair color at all until that silly ginger controversy in recent years with England and that kid who screams, "GINGERS DO HAVE SOULS!"

Hair color isn't really a big deal for me when it comes to girls. I like all kinds of different girls. It's like with food. It's good to have diverse tastes eh?(although that's a bad analogy).

[Yuki-Anne]

I know what you mean, though. I have a general type that I'm attracted to but I've found myself attracted to wide range of features in guys.

[broly146]

With me, it is the personality and character I look for. Looks aren't a big deal to me.

[Sheenar]

Personality and beliefs are most important to me. If he looks good in Wranglers, well ---that would be a definite plus.

[That Dude]

For me it comes down to character, beliefs, personality...Then looks. Because, honestly, looks are important. The good thing about that though that can give people hope is that what people find attractive is in the eye of the beholder. Some people with think someone's attractive that I would never bother a second glance at, and vice versa.

[USSRGirl]

XD I'm with Yuki on the random catcalls being annoying but depending on the context I usually think more "lol" than "creep." Seems like teenage boys will do that to any girl to impress their friends,

... to add my latest creeper story. Earlier today as I was riding to Hastings, some teenage boys were driving by in their pickup... whistled at me and said they liked my bike (um... okay?). I just rolled my eyes and kept riding. It was more lulzy than creepy really and kinda flattering I guess.

I think I fall in with most of the others in terms of what to look for in a guy. Character and personality - he should be a nice guy. XD Someone who's like your bestfriend and you have a long term future with. It's important that he's a Christian for me as I want someone who supports me in that regard. A professor of mine who is also a good friend told me that if someone doesn't support you in your dreams/life, don't be with them. True facts. That's so important in a spouse. ... smexy looks are good too... just sayin...

Edit: Should probably add that I'm 21... so yeah. XD Lulz.

[Yuki-Anne]

A professor of mine who is also a good friend told me that if someone doesn't support you in your dreams/life, don't be with them.

Well, yeah. I couldn't really be with a guy who wanted nothing to do with Japan.

[Yamamaya]

Well, yeah. I couldn't really be with a guy who wanted nothing to do with Japan.

Rather off topic, but I knew a real jerk once who was extremely prejudiced against the Japanese. He would regularly make comments about how "evil they were" and we(America) had to kill them in WWII because they were so different from us. He also made jokes about killing all of the Japanese people. I'm not joking.

Of course, this guy was also an idiot, redneck,homophobe, and generally a jerk. Occassionaly, he could be a nice/funny person, but then again everyone has two sides.

[Nekomimi]

This is a fun thread. And funny at times. On the topic of creeper stories, I gotta admit that I've been both the creeper & the creeped out. I've had a "fan" from jail who wrote letters to the radio station insisting I was his girlfriend - after only hearing my voice on :10-second liners XP On the flip side, in high school, I was so shy, I'd leave notes for guys I liked in their books, in their lockers, or on their desks, since my throat would dry up just looking at them T_T;; The guys, however, would look freaked out, & understandably so, looking back at things...

I've gotten better w/ my social skills, but not by much XD I still don't get subtle social cues, but at least I'm better about verbalizing my emotions in front of the person rather than being all stalkery.

[broly146]

[quote="Nekomimi (post: 1479954)"]This is a fun thread. And funny at times. On the topic of creeper stories, I gotta admit that I've been both the creeper & the creeped out. I've had a "fan" from jail who wrote letters to the radio station insisting I was his girlfriend - after only hearing my voice on :10-second liners XP On the flip side, in high school, I was so shy, I'd leave notes for guys I liked in their books, in their lockers, or on their desks, since my throat would dry up just looking at them T_T]


I was never good with letters:sweat:

[That Dude]

[quote="Nekomimi (post: 1479954)"]This is a fun thread. And funny at times. On the topic of creeper stories, I gotta admit that I've been both the creeper & the creeped out. I've had a "fan" from jail who wrote letters to the radio station insisting I was his girlfriend - after only hearing my voice on :10-second liners XP On the flip side, in high school, I was so shy, I'd leave notes for guys I liked in their books, in their lockers, or on their desks, since my throat would dry up just looking at them T_T]

I take it you work as a DJ or something?

[steenajack]

I've gotten better w/ my social skills, but not by much XD I still don't get subtle social cues, but at least I'm better about verbalizing my emotions in front of the person rather than being all stalkery.

Same here actually. I'm socially challenged/quirky myself and struggle with social cues and the like. I've gotten better, but I still struggle. It's kinda nice to meet someone you have something in commen with. ^^; Nice to meet you.

Also, what ThatDude asked, you work on the radio?

[TheMewster]

I've gotten better w/ my social skills, but not by much XD I still don't get subtle social cues, but at least I'm better about verbalizing my emotions in front of the person rather than being all stalkery.

I feel your pain. I have social issues too. We challenged ones need to stick together! God bless!

Oh, and like Steenajack and That Dude said, you a DJ or something?

[TopazRaven]

I'm not sure if this would be considered a creeper story, but it sure was awkward. I'm just remembering this now because I was out with some friends last night and we started talking about people we used to hang out with a lot in the past, but not so much now. There is this kid whom I used to babysit, I've known him pretty much since he was born. He's hit his teenage years. Oh joy! To put it simply we where talking over Facebook one day and he told me to do something um...very inappropriate. I said no thanks. His response was, "you know you want to." I know it was probably a joke, but it just felt really really wrong. You don't talk to your former babysiter/family friend since childhood like that! The kid is like 5 years younger then me to, I don't know what he was thinking.

[TheMewster]

I'm not sure if this would be considered a creeper story, but it sure was awkward. I'm just remembering this now because I was out with some friends last night and we started talking about people we used to hang out with a lot in the past, but not so much now. There is this kid whom I used to babysit, I've known him pretty much since he was born. He's hit his teenage years. Oh joy! To put it simply we where talking over Facebook one day and he told me to do something um...very inappropriate. I said no thanks. His response was, "you know you want to." I know it was probably a joke, but it just felt really really wrong. You don't talk to your former babysiter/family friend since childhood like that! The kid is like 5 years younger then me to, I don't know what he was thinking.

That's teenagers for ya. Sadly, most of our kind can't wait for marriage and are doing it even before high school! :bang: Now, no debating this and derailing the thread people.
As for women pursuing men... it's up to them I guess.

[Atria35]

I'm not sure if this would be considered a creeper story, but it sure was awkward. I'm just remembering this now because I was out with some friends last night and we started talking about people we used to hang out with a lot in the past, but not so much now. There is this kid whom I used to babysit, I've known him pretty much since he was born. He's hit his teenage years. Oh joy! To put it simply we where talking over Facebook one day and he told me to do something um...very inappropriate. I said no thanks. His response was, "you know you want to." I know it was probably a joke, but it just felt really really wrong. You don't talk to your former babysiter/family friend since childhood like that! The kid is like 5 years younger then me to, I don't know what he was thinking.

And that's when you respond: Guess who's mom is gonna hear about this!

[Yamamaya]

And that's when you respond: Guess who's mom is gonna hear about this!

O snap!

This kid is just one of many teenage boys who don't know how to handle all the new feelings of puberty so they do the most sensible thing in their minds and hit on their ex babysiter.

[TopazRaven]

And that's when you respond: Guess who's mom is gonna hear about this!

I just found it far to embarrassing. He's been good since then in least.

[Sheenar]

While I was looking around the pharmacy area today in HEB (a grocery chain in TX), I was approached by an older man in a blue jean jacket.

Man: "Hey, you'd look good on my motorcycle. Do you like to ride motorcycles?"

Me: "Not particularly." (I turn and walk toward the pharmacy counter.)

Man: "Sorry to bother you."



So very random...and a bit creepy. lol

[TopazRaven]

LOL. Well, in least he said he was sorry.