Miscellanious Poems from Different Ideas.

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Miscellanious Poems from Different Ideas.

Postby Hana Ryuuzaki » Mon Mar 03, 2008 3:08 pm

[font="Palatino Linotype"]O hai guyz!

It's me, Hana. Well, for some reason I decided to write poems. I don't really know why. They're based off of different anime series, game series, random thoughts...

So...yeah.
Here's the first one.
Be warned, sometimes they can be depressing and/or creepy.
Just so you know.

The King and His Horse
((A Conversation Between Ichigo Kurosaki and Hichigo Shirosaki. Ichigo's POV))
~ANIME: BLEACH~


It trips you up
It eats you out
It laughs in spite
As you drown in doubt.

That pale, bloodless face
Twisted in glee
You fall down and cry out
"What is wrong with me?!"

A smirking visage filling your sight
Golden eyes dancing with delight
Slowly, yet deftly, you reach out to yell
"Come and save me from this hell!"

He stops his mocking for instant
Noticing the pain in your eyes
Realizing all the inference
Has been nothing but lies.

Seeing your tears fall one by one
He wonders "Will this be any fun?"
And now you cannot hear the Hollow's call
Your final thought "How we will fall..."

The Hollow stood up and smiled in his triumph
His black, tainted heart started to sing
He placed his foot on your head
And shouted to the heavens "Now the Horse becomes King!"


Yeah.
Here's another!

Hero -The Choice-
((Random Idea))

Here I Am
I'm Falling
So Far,
So Fast
My Mind Is Racing
I Can't Save Myself
My Wings Are Still Broken

But Now No One Can Save Me
Why Did I Jump?
I Had A Future...
Didn't I?

I'm Slowly Fading
Lend Me A Hand
Part Of Me Says "You Have So Much To Live For! LIVE AND LOVE!"
The Other Tells Me, "You Ignorant Girl. You Are Worthless! DIE IN HATE!"
To Whom Shall We Listen?
It's Your Choice
Love or Hate?
Live or Die?
Can we really choose?
It's your choice.
私は実際に選んでもいいか。住むか、または死になさい。それはあなたの選択である。
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Postby USSRGirl » Sat Mar 08, 2008 11:19 am

Oooh, you have a very nice style, Hana. I like the last one the best - it flows nice and you built up to the last few verses well. If I watched Bleach maybe the first one would make more sense XD but I liked the imagery just the same even if it remains a bit on the esoteric side.
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Postby GeneD » Sun Mar 09, 2008 12:53 pm

Wow Hana-chan! These are great. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Bleach one. One question though, what does POV stand for? Keep it up!
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Postby Felix » Mon Mar 10, 2008 11:51 am

Very nicely done! You're a talented poet ^^ I really like the second one quite a bit. Great word choice and structure with short, punchy lines. Out of sheer curiousity, can you tell me what the japanese characters there at the end say?
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Postby ~darkelfgirl~ » Fri Mar 14, 2008 7:56 pm

Ooh, Hana! I like these ^^. I've read the first chapter of Bleach, so I kind of understand what's going on. I really like the structure and the engagingness (:D) of both.
[color=purple][font=Tahoma][color=royalblue]"But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."--[/color]Isaiah 40:31
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Postby Hana Ryuuzaki » Sun Mar 16, 2008 12:46 pm

[font="palatino Linotype"]^_^ Thanks guys! I have a revised version of the first poem.

Gene-chan: POV stand for Point-Of-View. I just noticed that I messed that up, and it's in the revised version. I have one story-poem that I'm working on, and one that's finished, but I still need to find under all my paper stacks...^_^;

Felix-san: The characters are supposed to say "Can I really choose? Live, or die. It's your choice."

*hugs for everybody!!*

The King and His Horse ((Revised)):
It trips me up
Not letting me out
It laughs in spite
As I drown in doubt

That pale, bloodless face
Twisted in glee
I fall down and shout
"What is wrong with me?!"

A smirking visage filling my sight
Golden-black eyes dance in delight
Slowly, yet surely, I reach out to tell
"Please come and save me from this dark hell."

He stops his mocking for one instant
Noticing the pain in my eyes
Realizing all the inference
Is nothing but complete and utter lies

Feeling my tears fall one by one
He wonders "Ahah, this will be fun!"
And now I cannot hear my Hollow's call
My final thought "How did I fall?"

My pale copy stood up and smiled in his triumph
His black, tainted heart started to sing
He placed his foot on my head
And shouted to the heavens "Now the Horse becomes King!!"


This one makes more sense to me.

Now to find my first poem....=__=;

It's called Battle Royale, I think...O_O[/font]
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Postby Hana Ryuuzaki » Sun Apr 06, 2008 1:46 pm

[font="palatino Linotype"]Gomen nasai for double posting, but I found a poem I wrote some months ago. Hope it's good!

WARNINGS: This has mentionings of bullying and violence in the form of a knife.
Oh, yeah. And themes of a mental illness that you'll figure out soon. It's fun to write about that...*ahem* O__O


Happy Smile

They Gather In A Group,
Smiling And Laughing,
Why Should We Fit In?
We Don't Know The Reasons.

Their Sadistic Glances,
Their Mocking Words,
Their Abusive Actions,
All For Us.

We Sit At Our Usual Spot
No One Is Near Us
A Conversation Is Held,
But Only I Hear Both Sides.

"S-Should I Really?"
'YES! GO! NOW!
It's Laugh Echoes Forever,
In My Mind, Nowhere Else.

I Stand Up From My Lunchroom Table,
Throwing My Plate Away,
Walking To Our Tormentors,
Eyes Downcast All The Way.

I Draw A Knife.
Someone Screams.
A Interesting Sound Is Heard,
I Find It From A Girl's Shoulder.

I Hear The Laughing Again,
I Throw Away My Happy Smile,
For Now I Know,
My Only Tormentor...Was Myself.


*cough* Yeah. Here's my other one. It's lighter and slightly romantic...Is based off of BLEACH, but all you have to know is the names of the main characters to understand the poem. Enjoy!

Fuyu no Hanabi pt. 1
((Winter Fireworks--Will be a poem in installments))

Swords Clashed Around Them.
Do You Hear The Sound?
Their Eyes Glanced At The Gem,
To A Wedding Ring Was Bound.

A Man With Strawberry-Blonde Hair,
A Woman With Eyes Of Sapphire,
Embraced Each Other, And Keeping Their Care,
Ran Away From The Mire.

Followed By Their Friends, Were They,
Onto A Steep Cliff-Top,
One Closed Their Eyes And Prayed,
"Please Let The Fighting Stop!"

The First Snowflake Floated Down
Upon The Ground Silently
Millions Joined It There,
Laying There Furtively.

The Eyes Of All Who Gathered There Stared Skyward,
Ice Littering Their Countenances,
All But Two Had Heard
The Screech of Metal Lingering In The Air.

Their Lives Had Seemed To Change So Suddenly,
Why Are They This Way?
A Young, Pink-Haired Girl Smiled And Laughed.
"Because That's What He Planned For Today!"

A Bright Light Shone From The Adjacent Hill,
The Guillotine Hill, As It Was Called.
The Place Of Execution For Traitors,
As The Life Currently There Quickly Faded Away.

The Sapphire-Eyed Woman Faltered and Wept Bitterly,
Her Fiancee Asked What Was Wrong.
Her Only Reply.
"That was my Nii-sama*. Now He Is Gone."

The Orange-Haired Man Drew The Woman Into An Embrace,
Wiping The Tears Off Of Her Face,
She Looked Up At Him, Smiled,
And Their Lips Met.

Another Explosion Rocked The Cliff,
Knocking Most Of The Group Off Of Their Feet,
When Suddenly A Group Of Men And Women Appeared,
"Yo, Ichi! Long Time, No See!"


Yeah, expect some more installments later. I hope these were good...
Constructive criticism appreciated!!

((Nii-sama is a very formal way of saying Brother))[/font]
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Postby Nami » Tue Apr 08, 2008 4:24 am

Well, I can't write poetry and I normally am not that interested in poetry.. but these are very good. I like them a lot, you use words well and make it very pretty ^^ Good Work Hana-chan! But so sad o_o
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Postby Hana Ryuuzaki » Tue Apr 08, 2008 4:48 am

[font="palatino Linotype"]=^.^=

Thanks!
I know that they are sad, but I can't write poetry any other way! Fuyu no Hanabi is my lightest poem, and it's not all happy...[/font]
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Postby GeneD » Wed Apr 09, 2008 2:09 am

Cool stuff Hana-chan!

I have to say I actually liked the first version of The King and His Horse better. I understand the angle of the revised one; that it's a first person speaker from Ichigo's POV, but somehow the first one just had more impact for me. If I uncover more as to why this is so, I'll let you know. :thumb:

The new ones are also great!

For constructive criticism, I want to say that I don't think I would have gone the Capitals For Ever Word Route. Maybe here and there for emphasis, but it throws me off a little. I want to stop after each word and it makes the reading a little jerky. I understand though if that's your style, but maybe have a look at it especially for the Bleach story one. You want your poems to flow as well as they can. I hope that's okay?

"Because That's What He Planned For Today!" Who's the "He" she mentioned? Kenpachi?

It is sad though, but you got the characters across pretty well. I'm looking forward to reading more!
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Postby Hana Ryuuzaki » Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:15 pm

[font="palatino Linotype"]^/////^

Thanks. I know that it's kinda distracting. I'm sorry about that...>_>

*laughs* No, "He" is Aizen.

Arigato Gozaimasu~![/font]
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