Conversation With God

[Kunoichi]

Ok so this is an actual conversation I had with the Lord and I shall do this in post in hopefully the right order that I wrote it. rhyme structure and grammar may not be correct, but I hope the Lord gets some glory from this, as little as it may be. All Praise and Glory Be to God forever and ever! Amen

Despair

So I sit here in wonderment
How great is my God
He took the Highest Mountain
Casting it into the deepest ocean
How could this all be for me?

His nimble and gentle hands
Made a game with the sky
For the clouds they frolic
Bringing storms of fury
Or the gentle breeze through the trees
How could all this be for me?

Even greater than all
Even greater than the deepest blue sea
Or the ultimate sunset and sunrise
Is that very fact that all men avoid
The fact that all men need
Is that he died
How could THAT be for me?

How could you , O Lord, come
Come to this earth
Bearing all the shame of us wretched beast
How could you O Lord, knowing my sins
Still come?
How could you, My King,
Let us be your daughters and sons
How could all this be for me?

Oh my God and King
I am one unworthy to utter your name
From my very lips
For my sin is so wretched that the angels
Glance down in horror from the heavens
My God, how can you keep saying you love me?

How can you my King, my Master, my Worshiped One
Say to me, “Daughter of Zion, Come and Be my Discipleâ€

[Kunoichi]

Converstation with God # 1

You keep on persisting
My God and King
You keep on asking
To simply “Come”

How do I come, O God?
How do I glance to your Holy presence?
How do I even utter your Name?
For God I am
So full of shame

I hear you voice O God
For it tugs on my heart
I hear you gentle whisper, My King
Are you talking to me?

“Be still, “you say
With loving words so dear
“You know what you must do.”
You whisper with love and affirmation
Oh Father, how I wish my sight would go
Before I must confess my wretchedness

Of how my body is not my own
How I have cheated my heart and soul
Oh God how can I?
And yet you keep saying you love me!

“Daughter,” you say with loving words so dear
“I am your Father and I love you.”
Love my King? Do I even know the word?
Do I know what Love is?
None from a father on this earth and
Am I so sure that I know it from any other?
God what is love ?

“I Am” you respond in quick affirmation
“I Am” is all you say
My God, for you Are, but how?
I do not understand
What you say goes beyond my limited comprehension
Lord is this your will?

Lord you give me peace
You are filling my soul
Holy Spirit I feel you coming
Holy Spirit I fear your coming
For I know that the darkness can not live
How am I to survive?
God I am weak
Please make me strong

[Kunoichi]

Repentance

Lord you are like nothing I can describe
Father God, how can I respond to this?
What words can I possibly say
Tears threaten to fall, unrelenting on my face

Lord God my heart flutters with anticipation
I grow faint with your Love
I grow faint with the thought that you could
Do something with someone like me!

God, I can not ask how
For I know I will never understand
I do not know how I will flee this temptation
I do not know how I will stop this sin
But God I can only trust you will help me
And thought my mind churns at the thought
I know I will be Free of it one day

God, I do not want this sin anymore
And yet I am its captive
God, How do I Flee?
What is the right path?
What is the right choice?
Is there more than one?

Child, you say yet again
I am with you
That is enough for now
Pray, repent and Go
For you are my witness!

Father Jesus,
You know what I have committed
For God I say it in my heart
Jesus make me white as snow
Let me follow you once more
Let me return to my first Love
Let me become your bride once more
Father, Let me be free

[Kunoichi]

Pleas To God

Lord I am empty
Fill me o King
Lord I am wanting
Fill me O Father
I am hungry for You
I wish to see You
To touch Your Face
And yet my sins shriek in Horror
My shame covers me as a blanket
Threatening to never let go

I plead with you o Father
Take me back as a slave
For I have come like this many times
Lord I am not worthy to utter your name
I cannot look towards the heavens
And yet you are calling my name.

Ok Lord, that’s it
I give up
I give in
Holy Spirit do what you will
Kill me if that is what it takes
Baptize me by fire
Destroy me if you so wish
Because I cannot escape you
And my soul thirsts for the Holy One

And Lord now you are silent
Quiet as a Lamb
You have every right to yell
To scream of my obscenities
Jesus who are you?
I though I knew you Lord
And yet you are a distant shadow
Jesus, please show yourself to me
Holy Spirit, please reveal yourself to me
Father God, please do not give up on me

[Kunoichi]

God's Response # 1

I have created you from the womb, dear child
Knowing what you were going to do
Knowing the sins you would commit
And yes, I love you

How you ask?
How can that be?
You do not see what I see?
A soul once tainted
Now white with the Love of My Son
The One who Died on The Cross

I have sent the Holy Spirit
He will come soon
To Baptize you like gold in the fire
To have you fulfill what you were made to do
For you will my witness, dear child
In all you do, you will be my witness

Do not worry about how you will flee
Do not worry about the temptation that you speak of
For I am with you, says the Lord
I AM who you are seeking
And though you have known me in times past
Your heart grows from me
I AM your fulfillment
And I AM with you.

Seek and you will find
Knock and the door will be opened
Ask and you will receive
For I AM the Lord, your God
Yes and I said Your
Because dear child, even if you are
Tainted with the blood of your sins
I am still your Father
You are still my Daugter
And even if at times you run from me
I am not ever going to run from you
For I love you

[Kunoichi]

Salvation

God
You are there
You here my pleas
You lovingly answer them
You make me free

Holy Spirit I feel you coming
Like a tidal wave you will hit me
For you words will burn in me like fire
In me, you will make my soul anew

Jesus
My savior and friend
You will save me from my sin
You will give me strength
You will be there for me through the end
No matter what comes my way

My soul is so willing
Yet my flesh already craves it
My heart wanders
And my brain tells me I know not what to do

Father
Save me from myself
Make me your witness
As you have promised to do
For God, take my blood
Take my flesh
Take my riches
Glory be to God

Lord perhaps I did not know
How much it would take to follow you
For God I can not live for myself
And yet, that is what I do.
God You are my King
Take control when I have none
Let me do what you have made me for
Let me honor you with my lips and my deeds too
God how much I love you

[rocklobster]

Let us hope that your conversations with God have made you stronger in your faith, Kunoichi.