kingdom hearts3(my version)

[ffluneth15]

#=the person who is talking.
1.jack
2.sarah
3.roki(it means theif in a spechil langue you will learn later on)
4.anyoumous
5.really anyoumous
forgive my bad typing.
part 0 proluge
1.so sarah what are we gonna do now its not like we can put things back.
2.we can go one trust me.
3.you love birds gonna keep this up?if so i will stop the ship now and that evil mist will get you.that sora guy transsimisson said that we should go to destiny ilands but if you want...
1&2.NOOO!!!1.*man this all started when i said our live was true evil.
see i have parents that hate sarah's parents.we were childhood freinds.i just treid to help and i get sent to a forest were animils talked and then this stupied mist came.but thats anthor story.....4.we have the place the darklings are all there but he is not.5.the sora boy can do us no harm my commader.he will soon be killed.can i kill his girlfreind first nice and slow?5.no if you do it might make the true light appir if it does you will die.you no only if the legend comes true or if the boys true love is hurt too much it will happen if it does4.yeah i die master don't you think i am smart enouth to know that i was only kidding.no lets begin true darkness.

[goldenspines]

Hmmm...looks like a good start. But I found it very hard to read though because the sentences were clumped together. It would be awesome if you could put more punctuation and when each person is talking, put them on the next line, like this:

Bob said, "Hello."
Jim replied, "Hey."

as opposed to this:

"Hello" said Bob. Jim replied, "Hey."

[/example]

If you do it the first way, it would make the story easier to read. ^^

[ffluneth15]

due to eariler posting this is now the charticer list.

1.roki(means thief)
2.saol(means bomber)
3.kio(means gunman)

RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!screamed roki.(three thiefs are running from a mist)stupid mist.said kio as he shot at it repetily with his pistol.i can't belive that mist is following us.said roki as he also cut into the air causing vaccums with his knifes.if this doesn't work i give up.said saol as she threw a fist full of small grenades.then a expoltion went off.think we took it out?asked saol.think so.roki said as he walked away.man that mist came outta space i swear it was a cloud.being a thief is too hard.i think we should quit.saol and kio look at each other then at roki.just kidding.said roki.it was just a joke.besides ticking off the king is way too much fun!roki said to calm them down.now to the galaga!(yes that galaga)ahhhh i renember this all to well.it was the first thing we stole.said saol.then behind her the same mist take hold of kio and saol.they relize what is happing they push roki into the galaga.bye they say almost like it was there last words.roki then turned his knifes into to sword and screamed"aero!"then sending a small tornado of wind sword like thing toard the mist.then destorying it.however he felt something a pulse telling him to go somewhere.he then said to himself*i think i will follow it.then he starts to cry.i don't know what happend but that lady...recap:take this and you will find the ones who can help you when your only one you care about are gone a pulse if you will:fortune lady better not be wrong he gets in the ship a flys away.only the moon is still there becusae that mist took everything.

[Dunedan]

Instead of forgiving you for bad typing, perhaps you could take a second to correct your bad typing.

I'm glad you actually used the characters' names the second time around. Substituting numbers is confusing and unnecessary.

[Radical Dreamer]

Tips from the Grammar Ranger:

After coming to a complete stop in a sentence (you'll use a period), press the space bar once or twice. Whichever tickles your fancy.

When someone is talking, use these things: "Quotation marks". And every time a different person starts talking, hit the "Enter" or "Return" key to make a new paragraph.

Don't use excessive exclamation marks (!!), ellipses (...), or question marks (??).

Proper nouns (names of people and places, also, "I") are capitalized. Shift + the first letter of the word = make the Grammar Ranger happy.

Too: means "also".
To: "I'm going to the store." "I told you to brush your teeth."

"3.roki(it means theif in a spechil langue you will learn later on)"

Thief, special, and language. Download Firefox 2.0 and make use of its built-in spell checker.

There's like...a LOAD of other things that I'd correct, but these are the basics. Learn spelling, learn proper punctuation, learn how to space correctly, and this may begin to help you to communicate better with others on the internet.

[ShadowCat]

Tips from the Grammar Ranger:

After coming to a complete stop in a sentence (you'll use a period), press the space bar once or twice. Whichever tickles your fancy.

When someone is talking, use these things: "Quotation marks". And every time a different person starts talking, hit the "Enter" or "Return" key to make a new paragraph.

Don't use excessive exclamation marks (!!), ellipses (...), or question marks (??).

Proper nouns (names of people and places, also, "I") are capitalized. Shift + the first letter of the word = make the Grammar Ranger happy.

Too: means "also".
To: "I'm going to the store." "I told you to brush your teeth."

"3.roki(it means theif in a spechil langue you will learn later on)"

Thief, special, and language. Download Firefox 2.0 and make use of its built-in spell checker.

There's like...a LOAD of other things that I'd correct, but these are the basics. Learn spelling, learn proper punctuation, learn how to space correctly, and this may begin to help you to communicate better with others on the internet.

Don't forget that you must capitalize the first letter of the first word in a sentence. o.o/

[Fish and Chips]

Tips from the Grammar Ranger:

After coming to a complete stop in a sentence (you'll use a period), press the space bar once or twice. Whichever tickles your fancy.

When someone is talking, use these things: "Quotation marks". And every time a different person starts talking, hit the "Enter" or "Return" key to make a new paragraph.

Don't use excessive exclamation marks (!!), ellipses (...), or question marks (??).

Proper nouns (names of people and places, also, "I") are capitalized. Shift + the first letter of the word = make the Grammar Ranger happy.

Too: means "also".
To: "I'm going to the store." "I told you to brush your teeth."

"3.roki(it means theif in a spechil langue you will learn later on)"

Thief, special, and language. Download Firefox 2.0 and make use of its built-in spell checker.

There's like...a LOAD of other things that I'd correct, but these are the basics. Learn spelling, learn proper punctuation, learn how to space correctly, and this may begin to help you to communicate better with others on the internet.

...Corrie.

This post is my marriage proposal.

Think of it. We'll have the best-written vows ever.

[ffluneth15]

I have a question how do you type if they are doing something without talking and how do you type thinking?

[Radical Dreamer]

I have a question how do you type if they are doing something without talking and how do you type thinking?

Example.

The boy with brown, sandy hair ran up to the fence. He peered off into the hazy horizon, noticing the dark, menacing clouds that approached. "It looks like a storm is coming," he thought to himself as he ran back to the safety of his home, the thunder chasing after him in the distance.

When you need to portray an action by one of the characters, simply state what they are doing. "*Insert character* drew his sword," or "*character* suddenly realized what he had just said, and began to stumble over his words." As far as typing out thoughts goes, it depends on your style. I've seen a number of authors put thoughts in italics (these things) in order to differentiate thinking from talking. So yeah, that's one way to do it.

[Nate]

"It's nice to see you again," Fred said to Joe. Although not really, since I can't stand your guts, he said in the back of his head. Fred reluctantly stuck out his hand to Joe, and forced a smile on his face.

Talking. Thoughts. Actions. There you go.

[mechana2015]

I have a question how do you type if they are doing something without talking and how do you type thinking?

If some one is doing something.

Genevive ran towards the car, hurdling the fallen pipes on the frosty ground.

If someone is thinking of something.

She pondered whether the driver would spot her before she got close enough to strike.

OR

Genevive thought "I wonder if he'll spot me."

[ffluneth15]

thanks ok i am in a slump but i will soon return too posting soon.keep checking this thread