No Title - poem

[Kunoichi]

Hello all!

Well let me know what ya think *bow*

***

In this twisted world
where dark is light
light is dark
it is a wonder that never ceases
of the love that never increases
it is the "wisdom" of the wise
that so many lean upon
and yet the fools mind
is stronger, tho looked down upon
and how much will the Father see
before his heart can take no more
until he declares that the Devil's deeds
will now become no more?

When will the pain of life
become a non remebrant sore
and when will we be able to sing
to our Christ, our Saviour Lord
when will we be rid of guilt
of the ever present sin
to where we can simply love
and to simply be with Him
No longer will we wonder
if this is right or wrong
or debate so heavily
of where Jesus scar are

But when we will become focused
on what it really is about
about the one who came and died
who told us what we need to figure out
that life is not about where we go
or who we date
life is about one purpose alone
it is about the One who creates

I normally do not do rhyming poetry but let me know what ya think!

*bow and ninja poof*

[Althaia]

ooooooooo neato i likey this i may make something in gimp for this if i have the time

[Anna Mae]

it is a wonder that never ceases
of the love that never increases

Love that never increases?

it is the "wisdom" of the wise
that so many lean upon
and yet the fools mind

Your meaning here is ambiguous. Why is "wisdom" in quotes? Do the wise abide by it or not?

I couldn't find "remebrant" in the dictionary.

or debate so heavily
of where Jesus scar are

Do you mean as in whether the nails were through the plams or wrists?

Do you intend to have a patterned rhyme scheme, or just make use of an occasional rhyme?


As far as I can tell, though, you have a good message.

[Kunoichi]

Typo of the love *Increases* should be Decreases

My poems are merely written to express feelings and hold no specific pattern or rhyme scheme. IT is rare that I rhyme at all

Wisdome is in quotations because so many think they are truly wise in this world and are not

and yes the line about Jesus' scars are about the triviality of debating the wrist or hands