I'm writing a story, and I'm nervous.

Unleash your creative writing skills here.

Postby Kesshin » Wed Apr 06, 2005 7:23 pm

Aw... Thank you, Chloe. *hug*
Yes, I have been hesitating to finish for that very reason. What will life be like without On the Dark Side? Will I be good enough to write a satisfying ending? So many questions...
>>>I keep forgetting to come over and comment.<<<
Nah, that's okay. ^^;; I keep procrastinating, so we'll call it even. XD Thank you for commenting, period. You guys keep me going. Let's see, how'd that song go...

"Did you ever know that you're my hero? something something, yada yada... You are the wind beneath my wings."

Yes, editing is coming soon. It probably won't be much fun, but like you said, it's something I need to bite the bullet and do. Curse you, obligations of maturity, curse you! ;)

As for the other questions... even I'm not really sure. Sometimes writing's like that; the story just seems to flow from your fingers, and you're left wondering "where the heck did that come from?" It's crazy, but it's wonderful too. All I know is, the questions will be answered... eventually. >_<

>>>How the scenes do change
To end the pain
Of injustice<<<

XD Nice one, Loch. Thanks for the advice. I'm going to give this last piece my all. :thumb:

And last, but not least: Happy belated B-day to our favorite winged poet. This one goes out to Icarus, who made the word "swing" into the ultimate expression of admiration. You rock, Icky. (Sorry; couldn't resist taking a leaf out of your sister's book *grin* ).

This story is copyrighted by Kesshin, 2005.

Kern placed his hand on the door. The metal was clean and crisp against his sweaty palms. It seemed to whisper garbled threats at him, repelling his entire being through the regal aura it presented. He had no right to be entering this room. He had no right to put his grubby little mitts on the door handle. Kern pulled away and stared at the entrance, absent-mindedly wiping his palms against a fist-full of shirt. He blinked; once, twice. Then he reached out and opened the door.

It all happened without any real thinking. He pulled the door open and they were all inside; all three grime-covered companions in a normal, office-like chamber. Silence pressed in on their eardrums, broken only by the clicking and whirring of the single fax machine. There were no other noises, not even the muffled sound of breathing. They had stopped doing that altogether the moment they had walked in.
Where the rest of the building had been eerily clean, this one was eerily normal, with a slightly rumpled stack of papers in one corner and a cup of steaming coffee on the desk.
And in the chair behind the desk was a plump little man.
Wrinkles spread like a web along his face, gathering at the corners in pleasant bundles of laugh lines. This showed that he was getting on in years, but he could not yet be very old, as shown by the unimpressive size of his bald spot. All in all he was not particularly menacing, just a pudgy man in his mid-forties with a pleasant smile and a business suit.
“Hello, there.â€
"Consider the lilies of the field. They neither sew nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed as one of these. If God so clothes the grass, which is in the field one day and cast into the oven the next, how much more will he clothe you, o ye of little faith?
-Luke 12:27-28
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-CAA's official writing shinobi.

"Mostly I write action/adventure, and while I dislike romance, I seem to end up doing it and I've been told I do so well. To that I give a cliche "Feh.""
-uc pseudonym
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Postby Icarus » Wed Apr 06, 2005 11:09 pm

I'm giddy...

But my word, has it really been a year? I guess it has, due to the haze that has descended over the beginning of the story. Wow, way to go, Kesshin.

I meant to post this after the preceding section, but it didin't take, so here goes:

I would tend to disagree with Loch concerning the use of "reeealy" in this case. Though I agree with italics for added force, sometimes you're just too tired/apathetic to be fervent, in which case you might stretch out the words. Observe the difference in:

Blast, but I'm tired. Blast stressed, but not drawn out)
Blaa--ast, but I'm tired. (Blast drawn out, but not stressed)
Blast, but I'm tired.

And finally, [quote="Kesshin"]
And last, but not least: Happy belated B-day to our favorite winged poet. This one goes out to Icarus, who made the word "swing" into the ultimate expression of admiration. You rock, Icky. (Sorry]
1. Thank you
2. You only know that because I've used it so much around your work.
3. I thought you knew. "Icky" is my official nickname. Further, "Icky" is the new "Swing." ;) :thumb:
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Fri Apr 08, 2005 9:19 pm

Aw... Thank you, Chloe. *hug*

*HUG* sure ^_____^

Hmm, so what is with the fat guy and Joyce? hmmm, very interesting... ^____^ I'm glad you are still around Kesshin - it's been awhile.

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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Postby Kesshin » Sun Apr 10, 2005 6:50 pm

I had been planning on posting this yesterday, but by the time I was ready to, my parents needed to use the computer. When they were finished, it was really late.
-_-;;

Ah, well. What they needed it for was far more important than what I needed it for (not to say I don't think this is important).
I just thought you guys wouldn't mind another day. It's better than two weeks, anyway... >_< Bad Kesshin, bad!

On the plus side, I did get to watch FMA. *laughs* That's always a good thing.

>>>I would tend to disagree with Loch concerning the use of "reeealy" in this case. Though I agree with italics for added force, sometimes you're just too tired/apathetic to be fervent, in which case you might stretch out the words.<<<

I suppose it could go either way. Though I do agree: italics don't really convey the correct feeling in this instance.
For the sake of uncertainty, I'll leave it as it is until I can get my hands on an English professor. Thanks for the advice, though, guys. ^_^

>>>You only know that because I've used it so much around your work.<<<
:red: Thanks, Icarus. That means a lot to me.

This story is copyrighted by Kesshin, 2005.

Pen's mouth went dry, which was an unusual event. This was certainly the first time it had happened, although she had heard others talk of it. She had never experienced it for herself. Then again, she had never been this shocked, either.

It seemed that the whole aura of the office broke into fragmented pieces. Shards of normalcy drifted apart, allowing hints of something sinister to leak through. The man's smile seemed no longer warm. Instead it had become a twisted parody of a grin.
Pen looked over at Kern. He had noticed it too. To anyone that didn't know him, he would appear no different than usual. Pen, however, did know him, and as a result she saw the full extent of the shock. His toffee-colored skin took on an palid tone, and the pupils of his eyes had become dark pin-points. Breathes fell quietly from his mouth at increasingly fast rates. The feeling of danger had fallen over her friend, a danger so vague and elusive that it was all the more unnerving. They had no idea what the man had chosen to unveil, but it did not look at all wholesome.

'Trust your gut, Penelope,' her grandmother had remarked one day, taking a hearty swig of tea, 'You'll find that it's seldom wrong. You don't know the future anyway, and logic is never complete. So when you feel something in the pit of your stomach it's best to run with it," she winked, 'God gives you clues. So use them, hm?'

A nine-year-old Pen had nodded politely at her grandmother's words and gone back to mixing the cookies. In her young mind, grandparents were something to be loved and tolerated, never looked to for advice. They were old and wrinkley and said things that were hard to understand.
Soon her mom entered the kitchen and put the cookies in the oven. Several minutes later all three of them were munching on macaroons and the advice was thoroughly forgotten.

'Not too thoroughly, though,' Pen noted. Her gut was trying to tell her something, and it hadn't been this upset since Sheila had made chicken salad back at the Base.

Joyce, on the other hand, seemed to blend right in with the dangerous atmosphere. She had come into the room ready to fight. 'Fight...'
Pen fingered her stun gun. Her hands, shaky from uranium poisoning, closed around the trigger. It would be easy. The man sat only ten feet away. Combine the closeness with his pudgy build, and he was a sitting duck. But, still...
Her fingers loosened. It wasn't right. She had to have some reason to take action.

"Joyce?" Her voice was oddly soft, "Who is he?"

Joyce didn't take her eyes of the man as she answered curtly, "Vincent Snider; the reason you have no family."
"Consider the lilies of the field. They neither sew nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed as one of these. If God so clothes the grass, which is in the field one day and cast into the oven the next, how much more will he clothe you, o ye of little faith?
-Luke 12:27-28
Image

-CAA's official writing shinobi.

"Mostly I write action/adventure, and while I dislike romance, I seem to end up doing it and I've been told I do so well. To that I give a cliche "Feh.""
-uc pseudonym
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Postby girlninja » Sun Apr 10, 2005 6:55 pm

Kesshin your story is as sweet as always ^^ man i wish i had my old SN back lol i saw the first post i made lol heheh Vash :P well i hope to see more work soon hun
"If not now then when? If not me then who?-anonymous

and of course now i must instill the Dancing BANANA'S!
:dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance:

WHY AM I CRYING IN FRENCH-Vash the Stampede

ORORORORORO!-Himura Kenshin

:jump: :lol: :thumb:

"It is not weak to value human life!"-Raiden, Mortal Combat II

98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.

*ADOPTED BY* ..yea i know scary I got a adopted ~_^

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Postby true_noir_chloe » Sun Apr 10, 2005 9:33 pm

Kesshin wrote: "I'm reeeally pathetic."

Actually, I would have to agree with Loch on this. According to The Elements of Grammar, by Margaret Shertzer, which is the basics for any writer, she states that for emphasis you may italicize words. However, ]one[/i]. If you can find an example, I'd say go for it; otherwise, it is always best to stay with the basics.

That's my two cents on the whole thing. And, I am just really tired right now so I'm about to log off.

Anyway, another great section, Kesshin. :thumb: And let me guess, your parents were using the computer for taxes? Hehe, it's that time of year. :P

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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Postby Silvanis » Tue Apr 19, 2005 4:35 pm

Cool! I likes so far. Plz post the next soon!
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Postby Icarus » Thu Apr 21, 2005 9:53 am

Wow, this story has been going for almost a year and a half. I really need to go back and read the story from the beginning to make sure I get everything.

>>It seemed that the whole aura of the office broke into fragmented pieces. Shards of normalcy drifted apart, allowing hints of something sinister to leak through.

Swing. *nods with a stupid grin on his face*
I haven't commented on anything particular in a while, so this is it. I love that part. Really.
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Postby Kesshin » Fri Jul 01, 2005 5:27 pm

The words fell like cold stones into Pen’s stomach. The air of danger and intrigue vanished just as quickly as it had come, and Pen suddenly saw the businessman with unclouded vision.
[i]“He’s the reason…â€
"Consider the lilies of the field. They neither sew nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed as one of these. If God so clothes the grass, which is in the field one day and cast into the oven the next, how much more will he clothe you, o ye of little faith?
-Luke 12:27-28
Image

-CAA's official writing shinobi.

"Mostly I write action/adventure, and while I dislike romance, I seem to end up doing it and I've been told I do so well. To that I give a cliche "Feh.""
-uc pseudonym
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Location: Sometimes I wonder...

Postby Icarus » Sat Jul 02, 2005 11:18 pm

Thank you for posting.

*bookmarks page.*
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Tue Jul 05, 2005 8:14 pm

Kesshin! :o You posted again. ^_____^ I'm so glad you're still adding to this.

After this last section I realize, I need to go back and re-read everything. :sweat: I'm totally lost. And, I can't believe he's going to shoot little Kern. What did he do? Poor Kern.

Anyway, thanks for posting. BTW, have you done a word count yet? Good writing, Kesshin. :thumb:

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^

Postby true_noir_chloe » Tue Jul 12, 2005 2:12 pm

*sorry, needs a bump*

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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Posts: 3091
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^

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