Would anyone like to rate my artwork? ...warning could be toxic!
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Would anyone like to rate my artwork? ...warning could be toxic!
Hi. I was wondering if anyone would be good enough to rate some of my artwork. These are the first few pages in a slightly christian (hint- it won't say God directly but it will talk about him... in another name). Please tell me what you think needs work (don't comment on the first pages disjointedness, it's suppose to be that way), example: artwork, story, ... Oh, and a pic of conseption art. Thanks
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"Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed-not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence-continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." Philippians 2:12-13 
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
~~~
War determines not who is right, but who is left.
There is no such thing as good luck. There is only misfortune and its occasional absence.
Viking proverv:"Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn." MUAHAHAHA!:evil:
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
~~~
War determines not who is right, but who is left.
There is no such thing as good luck. There is only misfortune and its occasional absence.
Viking proverv:"Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn." MUAHAHAHA!:evil:
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Liger'smane - Posts: 69
- Joined: Thu Feb 24, 2005 10:17 am
- Location: Often, I occupy that vacant space in between my ears.
Your artwork is good and its improving as you draw, which is always a plus. I can't comment on the story as its hard to read the speech bubbles. You've scanned in the pages far too small or something. If you fix that up then I (and others) can read it and comment on the story.
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Warrior 4 Jesus - Posts: 4844
- Joined: Tue Sep 07, 2004 10:52 pm
- Location: The driest continent that isn't Antarctica.
Thanks for the tip. I resised them, they should be easier to read. Oh, i wrote them in english format, not japenese... silly me. Yeah, reading them left to right should help you a little.
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
"Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed-not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence-continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." Philippians 2:12-13
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
~~~
War determines not who is right, but who is left.
There is no such thing as good luck. There is only misfortune and its occasional absence.
Viking proverv:"Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn." MUAHAHAHA!:evil:
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
~~~
War determines not who is right, but who is left.
There is no such thing as good luck. There is only misfortune and its occasional absence.
Viking proverv:"Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn." MUAHAHAHA!:evil:
-
Liger'smane - Posts: 69
- Joined: Thu Feb 24, 2005 10:17 am
- Location: Often, I occupy that vacant space in between my ears.
The story is good, but its too early on to rate it. Your character style seem to be influenced by Egyptian mythology. Am I right? Also instead of the tall creature saying X amount of miles, it sounds better if you had him say something like "14 day journey" or something.
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Warrior 4 Jesus - Posts: 4844
- Joined: Tue Sep 07, 2004 10:52 pm
- Location: The driest continent that isn't Antarctica.
Ummm, Egyption mythology is something like it but really I saw a picture of a creature alot like this and... kinda... expanded on it. Thanks though.
"Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed-not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence-continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." Philippians 2:12-13
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
~~~
War determines not who is right, but who is left.
There is no such thing as good luck. There is only misfortune and its occasional absence.
Viking proverv:"Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn." MUAHAHAHA!:evil:
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
~~~
War determines not who is right, but who is left.
There is no such thing as good luck. There is only misfortune and its occasional absence.
Viking proverv:"Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn." MUAHAHAHA!:evil:
-
Liger'smane - Posts: 69
- Joined: Thu Feb 24, 2005 10:17 am
- Location: Often, I occupy that vacant space in between my ears.
If you don't mind, I've fixed up a bit of the wording, polished it a little to make it more natural. You may wish to use my suggestions or not.
1) = refers to the first person talking in the frame
2) = refers to the second person talking in the frame
-Page 1-
Frame 4: Hmm... Is this mine?
Frame 7: Meanwhile...
1) Here, let me repeat myself. Or-ac-le!
2) So we're looking for an oracle? Why?
-Page 2-
Frame 4:
1) What?!! Why didn't you wake me?
2) You were near death!
1) So? I need to figure out my identity!
Frame 5:
1)You'd rather run yourself into the grave than rest?
2) Well, um... no.
1) Anyhow you have a visitor.
-Page 3-
Frame 5:
1) How is this oracle supposed to help me?
2) She may know who you are.
1) Where does she live?
2) Far from here.
1) How far?
2) About a 14 day journey.
1) = refers to the first person talking in the frame
2) = refers to the second person talking in the frame
-Page 1-
Frame 4: Hmm... Is this mine?
Frame 7: Meanwhile...
1) Here, let me repeat myself. Or-ac-le!
2) So we're looking for an oracle? Why?
-Page 2-
Frame 4:
1) What?!! Why didn't you wake me?
2) You were near death!
1) So? I need to figure out my identity!
Frame 5:
1)You'd rather run yourself into the grave than rest?
2) Well, um... no.
1) Anyhow you have a visitor.
-Page 3-
Frame 5:
1) How is this oracle supposed to help me?
2) She may know who you are.
1) Where does she live?
2) Far from here.
1) How far?
2) About a 14 day journey.
-
Warrior 4 Jesus - Posts: 4844
- Joined: Tue Sep 07, 2004 10:52 pm
- Location: The driest continent that isn't Antarctica.
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