poem

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poem

Postby girlninja » Wed Feb 23, 2005 10:50 am

i was a little upset when i wrote this...like moody heh but it came out interesting thought i'd post it and see what ya thought

Kings Of Power

Towards the dark whirling circle
It writhes and wingles
yet it sits so pretty on its throne

Bowed to, worshipped
Sacrificed and praised
Rules with an iron hand

A malice tongue
A simple shove
Little streams of unconscious thoughts

So easy
So easy
to give up and kill

Whispered words
fangs
stealthy daggers

The time has come
Rise up and Fight
bring away the throne of the night
"If not now then when? If not me then who?-anonymous

and of course now i must instill the Dancing BANANA'S!
:dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance:

WHY AM I CRYING IN FRENCH-Vash the Stampede

ORORORORORO!-Himura Kenshin

:jump: :lol: :thumb:

"It is not weak to value human life!"-Raiden, Mortal Combat II

98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.

*ADOPTED BY* ..yea i know scary I got a adopted ~_^

Nami
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Postby Magekind » Wed Feb 23, 2005 1:23 pm

Very good. One thing I rarely catch in your poems that stood out nicely in this one was its meter. Excellent. Almost makes it readable, to me, even though it doesn't rhyme, for the most part. The part where it does rhyme, right at the end is a nice touch, too.
Take it like you gave it; what else matters in the end? To be honest, it's all a one-shot test; that leaves plenty of places to go wrong, but how will you ever know? There's a pointer, I will admit. Turn it on, listen to it, feel it burn.

At-Close Paren-Right inclusive bracket-Tilde. Thanks to CAA mods. Taken from Jaden Mental's sig.
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Postby faithfighter » Wed Feb 23, 2005 1:52 pm

That was great!
Have anymore?
If so I'd like to read them.
[color="Green"][font="Verdana"]There is no one you can't love once you know their story-Mary Lou Lawnacki[/font][/color]
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Postby LostChild » Thu Feb 24, 2005 8:20 pm

well, thats something new. i like new things, so i LOVE that! ^_^
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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Postby girlninja » Fri Feb 25, 2005 10:31 am

heh *blush thankyou ^_^
yea faithfighter i do ^^ it's in this place too called something like my poetry thread or something, also any churchgirl111 stuff is mine from a previous time ^_^ so i ahve a lot floating around ^^
"If not now then when? If not me then who?-anonymous

and of course now i must instill the Dancing BANANA'S!
:dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance:

WHY AM I CRYING IN FRENCH-Vash the Stampede

ORORORORORO!-Himura Kenshin

:jump: :lol: :thumb:

"It is not weak to value human life!"-Raiden, Mortal Combat II

98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.

*ADOPTED BY* ..yea i know scary I got a adopted ~_^

Nami
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girlninja
 
Posts: 388
Joined: Sat Dec 25, 2004 3:03 pm
Location: On the rooftops *ninja poofing*


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