Graduate research - Desperately need prayers

[Mave]

Dear all,

Let me start with giving praise to God for his goodness. My scientific abstract was accepted by the national Food Science organization and I will present my thesis in the coming conference. Yeah! And I did a lot better in my last Marketing Management test, 80%. Thanks be to God!


Ok, prayer needs.

I've been keeping this to myself for a long time. But I finally humbly decided that I need prayers in this issue.

Some of you may remember that I'm a candidate for M.S in Food Science and like any graduate student, late nighters and work during weekends are fairly common. But that's not the point.

I don't know what's preventing me from getting my work done. I spent many hours developing my method and I thought I would finally get a breakthrough yesterday with an experiment after 1 1/2 years of working on it. My hopes were dashed when I got the complete opposite results of my expectations. I felt like breaking down coz it was my biggest hope and once again, it was a failure. Once again, I sigh and ask, "What did I do wrong again?"

I'm not going into details coz it's gonna bore everyone. But what I do ask is to please pray that God will provide me wisdom and guide me as to what I should do next in my research thesis in order to get a breakthrough. I've exhausted all my current resources and everyday, I battle these hounding thoughts, "I'm so stupid, why did I even get myself into this program? I'm just not qualified for it. Anyone else working on this research thesis would have found it easy, but you....however, aren't good enough." I try not to let this affect me, but when you face failure and humiliation everyday, it gets a little hard to ignore.

On a sidenote, this problem of mine greatly affects my mangakaing efforts and therefore, I apologize to all for not being able to update as often as I would like to. *bows* Please be patient, that would help me a lot.

I get pressure from my professors and need to get some good data by the end of this week (that's why I'm staying back to work during Spring Break). My graduation deadline is looming, I should have had submitted my research proposal since the beginning of this semester. Sigh. I've given up trying to figure it out on my own will. All I have left is God's mercy and your prayers. Please pray for me, I appreciate your kindness.

Thanks,
Mave

[shooraijin]

I can well empathize with your dilemma and your problem! I hope that God gives you some insight ... and some luck, too.

[Shinja]

ill pray for you, i know what your going through

[Technomancer]

Believe me, I know what you're going through. I pray that it will come out all right in the end.

[CobaltAngel]

I, too, understand what you're going thru. Probably not to the exstant that the others have, but I do know. I'll pray.

[blueraven]

I'll be praying for you. You've got your hands full there.

[wiggins]

I'll pray for you.

[Omega Amen]

Although I will not be doing research in my graduate studies, I meet a lot of graduate students here at Georgia Tech under the same type of stress on a daily basis.

I will pray for you, Mave.

[Rogie]

I'll be facing the same thing when I go to grad school starting next year. I'll remember you in prayer, Mave.

[Reverie]

I'm praying for you.

[Spiritsword]

I have been through the rigors of a thesis and graduate research as well. I will pray for you.

[Mave]

Does anyone believe in the power of prayer? I do now.

Coz on the very same day everyone said they'll pray, I finally got some good data. Data that I've been yearning for, for 1.5 years. It's unbelievable. I'm shocked at the progress I made in the last two days, right after I asked for prayers.

This really ought to go to testimony but let me share this.

I was sweating and stressing over an experiment, trying desperately for a direction and I suddenly heard in my heart, "Test the extraction method with your 400 ppm epicatechin standard. That should tell you what's wrong." I was like "Huh?!......that's a great idea! Why didn't I think of it before?"

I found out that I used the wrong extraction cartridge. Even my professor didn't realize it. If I didn't get that inspiration to test it with my std, I would have still been stuck in my work, wasted many days and gotten all frustrated and lost.

So, praise God! I can relax this week, knowing that there's hope in the end of it all. He really hears prayers and take care of us.

Thanks so much to everyone who prayed for me. I believe it really had an impact on my work! I'm so happy and grateful to God and everyone!

[Saint Kevin]

"Test the extraction method with your 400 ppm epicatechin standard.

Not what you'd typical think of being told by the still small voice of the heart. LOL. That's wonderful news Mave, praise the Lord. The fact that God's timing is in step with our prayers is something that never ceases to amaze me.

[Mave]

*holds breath in*

This is it. Yet another one of the obstacles in graduate research life that I have to go through: My research proposal presentation to my committee meeting.

Tomorrow at 2 p.m., I will present my research project to my committee meeting consisting of 4 professors, consisting of the introduction, literature review, rationale & significance, objectives, materials & methods, and trial data. The goal of the meeting tomorrow is to decide what objectives I need to achieve in order to graduate this December. Yes, it is a very important meeting for me.

I'm working feverishly over my research proposal paper and Powerpoint Presentation tonight. I don't mind sacrificing the sleep for tonight but I constantly fight my fears that I may not do a good job tomorrow or that I'll say something stupid during the presentation. I've almost completed my paper and will start on the presentation soon but it sure feels like forever!!

I have to trust God in this one (as I've learnt to in my research recently) and calm myself down. >_<;;;;;; *mumbles inaudibly to herself, "oh God help me oh God help me"* Please pray for wisdom and peace to be upon me tonight and tomorrow during the meeting. Let my confidence and success be from the Lord. Thanks!

****************************
And an update for everyone, my research project has progressed and I've learnt so much from previous experiments. I'm at the "data collection phase " and it can be overwhelming. It takes me 2 days to complete the analysis of one day's samples and I'll be doing this every 3 days for 3 weeks. That's not counting replications yet. I come home late at night exhausted but I'm thankful that (finally!!) all the hard work this time will be used in my thesis. Everytime before running my experiment, I extend my hand over my samples and pray, "Oh Lord, pls grace me with good data results and don't let me screw up with these samples." ^_^ That's how I've come to depend on God to get me through graduate school. Thank you for all your prayers! ^____^

[Lynx]

trust God, mave:) i'll be praying

[shooraijin]

You'll do great, Mave! I'll keep you in prayer.

[PotBelliedCow]

Yay Mave! I know you'll do well. I'll be praying for you too

[Rogie]

Hope it goes well, and I'll pray!

[Mave]

Forgive me for bumping this up but I think it's appropriate to inform everyone who has prayed for me about the status of the prayer subject. ^__^

First off, I want to thank everyone for helping me through the difficult times of my research. Last Spring Semester was exceptionally difficult and when I look back at it, I know I could only survived it because of God's intervention and the intercedings of your prayers.

I'm pleased to report that I've finalized my method and have started to get....*gasp* good scientific data!! Alleluia!! *dances* I was struggling with high errors in previous experiments. But this week, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the data from my latest experiment was very promising (low error yeaaahhh!!) and I'm repeating the experiment and am hoping that I will get good reproducibility. If I get good reproducibility, I'm almost done with my graduate research then. XD XD So pls pray for this second experiment, thanks! I'm almost there!

[Mave]

^___^;;;

Oh dear, I hate to resurrect a thread especially when I thought the topic no longer needs prayers. Well, I was wrong to think that nothing could go awry again. God has faithfully proven to me over and over again that my biggest weakness is PRIDE. I thought I could handle anything and subconsciously praised myself, instead of Him.

I found out that the second part of my research was a complete disaster based off the statistics and I have a big problem facing me ....a few months from my graduation. Some of you know that I will start working in June so the deadline stressed me out. It's pretty imperative that I complete my thesis and other graduate school responsibilites by then. Today, I cried in frustration because I know that it's all my fault. I keep making mistakes and failed to do things that I should have done earlier.

I was plunged into huge doubts and disappointments ("Mave, you're so dumb! You've been in grad school for more than 2 years and it doesn't seem like you learnt anything! What's wrong with you?") and it hurted a great deal. For a few minutes, I wished I could run away from my problems and had a fleeting thought of suicide <-- don't worry, I get that in moments of despair but it is usually shot dead in split seconds, praise God.

I took a walk and sang Todd Agnew's "Amazing Grace" to myself.
An hour later, I started to see things in a different light and felt more peace. I guess the pain I feel is the death of my fleshly pride and I have the feeling that my life will always consist of "saved in the nick of time" events. I really hate the lack of control I have in my life but I guess God wants me to completely depend on Him. So be it.

With that, pls pray for peace in my heart and a renewed sense of confidence in God's Hand in my life. May His Spirit guide me in my work and responsibilities. Please ask God to walk with me as I work towards getting out from graduate school for I don't want to be alone in handling this! Thanks!

[Rogie]

Hey, Mave, I'll pray for you. I had actually been wondering how things with grad school had been going lately, but I never actually asked you in the PMs. I'm a lot like you, and hate to lose control in my life, because I have a lot of pride, too. And I'll be starting the grad school road this fall, too, so I can totally relate to a lot of what you're saying.

I'm praying for you!

[Mave]

*takes a deep breath*

After a week of deprived sleep (plus some all-nighters), I've successfully submitted my thesis draft to my committee members last Friday and my oral examination will be on June 1st. I've got to admit that I'm quite fearful and anxious about everything.

Pls pls PLS pray that God will help me with wisdom and peace during my preparation for the 2nd last step toward graduation. I know God is in control but I have a very hard time trusting Him completely and keep asking myself "What if.....What if?"

Thx, everyone!

[agasfas]

Haven't said it before, but I'm glad everything has been working out for you as of so far. I will continue to keep you in my prayers . Good luck on the oral examination, I know you'll do just fine

[Technomancer]

Best of luck, if it's anything like mine was it should be a breeze.

[termyt]

Good luck, Mave.

[true_noir_chloe]

I am definitely praying for this, Mave. *hug* ^__^

[Mave]

Everyone, I'm very sorry to bump this up again. Thanks for your prayers.

To tell the truth, I'm at my lowest right now. Tomorrow is my defense and I have found major problems with my data.....yesterday. Why, God, WHYY???!!!? I don't want THIS, it's too stressful and humiliating. I don't know whether to cry or whether to get angry or to lose hope altogether.

I wish God wouldn't lead me through this. I hate my pride and my perfectionist way. It's killing me. My stomach and head hurts. I can't sleep,I can't eat. All I wanna do is run away. I feel like dying. I hate my situation. I feel like killing myself...anything just to escape the humiliation.

I don't have the courage and confidence. My friends' and professor's words of encouragement don't seem to bring any comfort. I've lost my appetite so food isn't going to do it. So what am I going to do? I've tried to pray but my mind is racing with all sorts of thoughts. What's the worst that could happen? I don't know..I don't even want to think about it.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to make anyone feel bad. I'm sure your prayers are being heard. It's just that.... God's Will may be something else, which I don't want to go through right now.

Sorry for this post. I had nowhere else to go with it. I've exhausted myself with my problems.

[Rogie]

Poor Mave-chan... I can't offer any real words of comfort other than that I'm praying for you. You've been on my mind lately, as all this graduate work you're going through is something that I'll be facing soon enough myself.

I'm praying earnestly for you, and I know that God will lead you through, whatever His will may be. He has great plans for you, Mave -- so don't give up!

[true_noir_chloe]

Amen, and double what Rogie said. "God has awesome plans for you, Mave." I know He does. ^_______^

IM, Pm, email me tonight if you like. Rant away! ~_^ I know it's been hard for you. TT__TT

*BIG HUG*

I'm praying for you - always.

[Mave]

Thank you sooooo much!!! *hugs Roger and Chloe*

Everyone!!!

I PASSED!!

AHHHHHHHH!!!!! ALLELUIA! GOD IS GOOD! YEAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Icantbelieveititsfinallyovermylifehaschangedimsohappyidunnowhattodonowexcepttoscreamin
injoyanddancearoundlikecrazyyeahyeahyeahomigoshomigoshwhatelseistheretosaythisissoawesome
GodisgoodGodisSOOOGOODDDthankyouthankyouthankyouPraiseGodPraiseHim

*cries in joy*


(T___________________T)


I had quite a few tough questions but nuts, I don't care. The most important thing is I passed!!!

I SURVIVE GRADUATE SCHOOL!!!! WHHHHEEEEEEE!!!!!

oh shoot...this ought to go into the Testimony section but oh well...