Tell me what you think of this.

[K. Ayato]

PROLOGUE



Things never stay constant, or remain the same forever. Take any given object, and given enough time, it will either adapt to its circumstances or new environment and survive, or it will deteriorate. Such was with the land of Kenton and its inhabitants. Diverse landscapes--as well as those who dwelt therein--lived in harmony with themselves and with others around them. The mainland of Kenton was primarily inhabited by humans, who lived in towns and villages, and provided crops, education, and various trades one could master. Elves as well as unicorns took their share of the dense forests and hills. The elves enhanced the lush crops Kenton had to offer as well as provided vegetation for all its creatures. Nocturnes also lived in the forests, but some took to the mountains and caves, as did the griffons. Winged warriors had no fixed location, but sojourned throughout the desert. Lastly, Aquatics made the ocean and nearby islands their home.

Each diverse population indeed had their own preference as to where to make their domain, however each didn't live isolated from the rest. They all allowed each other to trek through the other's lands, take from the crops, game animals, as well as educated one another on how each lives and survives.

Harmony in Kenton lasted for several centuries, until a young human named Tiron decided to learn the ways of magic, something that was clearly forbidden by all in Kenton. With smooth words and persuasion, Tiron mananged to assemble 300,000 followers and sow discord among Kenton's people. Nocturne turned against human, human against Winged Warrior. In time, everyone was against each other and little trust among the people remained. The prosperity and harmony was completely destroyed. Wars sprung up; nearly every day was spent on the battlefield with losses on every side. Despite drawbacks, each army wouldn't rest until one or all the others were demolished. Those not on the battlefield at all cowered in fear, hoping to in time be found and captured, or killed on sight. A few hoped for a miracle to end it all.

During the darkest days of war, a lone figure known only by the name of Azael marched into the forefront of the most intense battle taking place. No one knew of his origins or of what people he belonged to, only that he was said to exhibit the strengths and natural powers of all five. Singlehandedly, without any army or mounted beast alongside him, and with skills no one could later perform or accurately describe, he stopped each and every army from fighting against the others. One by one soldiers lay down their weapons, realizing it was pointless to continue fighting.

Tiron in disgust ordered his followers to capture Azael. They followed their orders and charged towards their new enemy. Those who had now stopped fighting drew in a sharp breath, wondering how just one lone figure could defeat himself against 300,000 enemies. Just when they all thought Azael would be doomed, he straightened himself and extended one hand upward to the sky. His body began to glow with an increasing intensity. From his hand shot snakelike tendrils of an unknown energy source, striking each of his 300,000 foes. One by one they all fell dead to the ground, leaving Azael facing Tiron alone.

Outraged that his plans had shattered, Tiron fled to the highest mountain peak, but Azael was destined to win. In an unseen battle between the two, obscured by dense storm clouds, Tiron was severely beaten and banished to the Dark Realm, where he would forever suffer etenal punishment.

Azael left the mountain and returned to the battefield. The inhabitants of Kenton praised him as a hero. Once again, harmony was restored to the land. The wounds of war had healed, but the damage had far more long-term effects. The seeds of discord Tiron had sowed into the hearts of the people still lay dormant. Aware of that, Azael made a prophecy in that one day, one member from each population would leave their homeland and join forces to defeat the arising powers of the Dark Realm, and forever establish peace and unity to Kenton and its people. Having said that, Azael disappeared without a trace. No one saw or heard from him again.

Years passed by, and still the prophecy was not yet fulfilled. Nothing had changed for the worse, so in time, the prophecy was dismissed as nonsense and a fable. However, forces in the Dark Realm were still stirring...

[K. Ayato]

What? Is this not to your liking?

[Icarus]

Sorry, I hadn't noticed it before today. Good opening.

[K. Ayato]

Thanks.

[Magekind]

Good, albeit typical. Nothing new, but a nice version of an old thought. Wouldn't mind watching it move a bit further.

[Esoteric]

Hmm, what to say....

Since it's a prologue, it's mostly exposition, very detatched in terms of emotion or individual characters. I'd like to read a bit of the first chapter, before saying much more.

[K. Ayato]

That was how I planned it. I was going to make it unfold in greater detail in all areas as the chapters unfolded. The prologue was written so I'd have a place to start off, as well as trigger some curiosity.

[Kura Ookami]

I like it. It has piqued my interest and I for one would like to read more of the stroy when you've written it.

[K. Ayato]

Bear with me. I sketch it out in a notebook, and later tighten it up on a computer. I'm still working on the first chapter, but once I can find a computer (can't use my home one, 'cause it's for job searches and homework) I'll try to get started. Don't worry. I haven't forgotten!

[tirshek]

I like it. I think that it has some serious potential.

[K. Ayato]

Thanks. I'm back in college now, so it's gonna be really challenging to find a computer to use Microsoft Word for anything not related to assignments. My sister (SirThinks2Much) has given me some ideas dealing with characters and such. Thanks, sis!

[mechana2015]

I like this. Its an interesting historical intro to a story, offers some new elements into a tried and true story concept. Very Tolkien-esque really. I'd like to hear more about the different races as well....

[K. Ayato]

Remember, Paul, I sketch it out, then I re-write on Microsoft Word, something I won't be able to do while this quarter is still going.

[mechana2015]

eventually....

[spiritusvult]

Good idea, for a sketch. The standard good verses evil is clear. However, the good character seems a bit too powerful. I'd like to see him in some kind of situation where he's in trouble, where I can hope things will turn out alright. Don't know if that's what you're looking for. Keep going though.

[Godly Paladin]

I like it. It's been done before, like others said, but I have to say that it has a lot going for it. One thing I appreciate is your attention to grammar, etc. So many stories here have such horrible wording and formatting that they're almost impossible to read.

[Godly Paladin]

I like it. It's been done before, like others said, but I have to say that it has a lot going for it. One thing I appreciate is your attention to grammar, etc. So many stories here have such horrible wording and formatting that they're almost impossible to read.

[Godly Paladin]

I like it. It's been done before, like others said, but I have to say that it has a lot going for it. One thing I appreciate is your attention to grammar, etc. So many stories here have such horrible wording and formatting that they're almost impossible to read.

[mechana2015]

Wow... an elusive triple lutz suplex post....I did like that too GP, very enjoyable to read online stories that are s-checked and proofed.

[Kaori]

It is a bit difficult to know what to say about this without having read part of the story itself. The description and history of a fictional world is mostly only of value in relation to the actual stories that take place within the world. That said, you do have a reasonably interesting idea; I will be sure to read the story itself whenever you do manage to post it. For what it's worth, you have a fairly polished style. Like Esoteric said, the tone is very detached, but that is to be expected in a prologue of this nature.

The standard good verses evil is clear. However, the good character seems a bit too powerful.

Are the main characters of this story going to be the prophesied representatives from the various people groups who are supposed to restore peace to the land? If their quest is the main subject of the story and Azael appears infrequently or not at all, I don't anticipate that his extreme power would be any hindrance to the story. My impression from reading the prologue was that he is something of a legendary figure; I would guess that he is not a major character in the story itself. Is that estimation correct?

[K. Ayato]

I may just remove the prologue entirely, but I wrote it more for myself, so I have a history, and so I know where I'm going to start. I don't want to spoil it for everyone. I might end up totally rewriting some areas and have no prologue whatsoever. It's still in the raw, folks. So bear with me. Writing is something I'm good at, but not yet perfected.

[Cap'n Nick]

It's a nice beginning. It was interesting and there is a ton you can do with a setup like that. I'm looking forward to seeing where you take it.

[K. Ayato]

Thanks. I'll do away with the prologue eventually.