I'm starting to go crazy

[Cleanedbyblood]

I know that I have put a lot of prayer requests up lately (sorry if its annoying). Things are still not right with my folks, and I'm caught sort of in the middle (but if I had to choose a side, it'd be my mom's). On top of all of this, I've become upset with my sister, because I feel like because of her actions and such, my wishes to someday get married and have kids of my own, have disappeared...for the most part. I am able to adopt my sister's youngest who has been like a daughter to me since she was born just over 2 years ago, but the adoption won't occur until 3-6 months after her biological father stops contesting the severance of his parental rights. (My sister has already stopped contesting it)

On top of all of this I'm trying to go back to college and get a career instead of just a part time job as a cashier at a home improvement store, but I have no idea what to get a degree in. I've tried taking quizzes that would help me figure out what to do but about 99.9% of them you'd have to pay to get your results even though they claim its free.

I feel like I am at the breaking point but I don't want to let my family know because I'm trying to be strong for my mom. I know I should give my problems to God, but I'm no good at that. Its almost like I give them to Him and then take them right back.

[silvanis2.0]

You definitely have my prayers. That is a lot for one person to carry.

[Xeno]

Just because you're adopting your sister's kid doesn't mean that yor chances to have a relationship and kids of your own are gone. There are plenty of people out there who are able and willing to enter relationships with people who already have kids. As far as not sharing your struggles with your family, that is what they are there for. You can still be strong while showing you are human. You are not perfect and you have a breaking point. We all need support from one another and to accept nothing while giving everything will wear you down until you are unable to continue on. Having a spiritual crutch to lean on (giving your worries to god/Jesus) might help for a while, but as you've noticed after time goes by and things continue to pile on, reality is you need the people around you to help out as well.

[K. Ayato]

Sounds to me you have trouble fully trusting God, seeing you described it as giving Him your problems, and then putting 'em back on your shoulders. And I'm still open to one day falling in love and marrying again, after taking time to heal and rebuild in the aftermath of my current situation. My baby is due any day now. Having a child is not a deal killer when comes to relationships.

[Mullet Death]

Praying. You say you're no good at offering up your problems to God. I don't know your reasons for feeling this way, but I often recognize that I "don't know how" to pray. Every once in a while, I'll remember that my ignorance and failures in spiritual matters can also be prayed about. Maybe you can try praying to the Holy Spirit every time you feel unsure about things, especially being unsure of how or what to ask God. The apostles asked Jesus to increase their faith. It probably wouldn't hurt to pray for more faith so you can trust God more.

[Cleanedbyblood]

thanks guys but I wasnt implying that having a child was going to impede my chances of a relationship. its the fact that i don't feel I can leave my mom to take care of the other kids (there are 5 others, the ages are 15, 10 (she has ADD), 7 (she has ADHD), 5, and 3. The 15 yr old spends most of her time in front of her computer.)

Sorry I meant to clear that part up

[ClaecElric4God]

Definitely praying.

[SierraLea]

I don't know what you're doing, but keep doing it. The devil only heaps trouble on those who are doing something so good that it is seriously dangerous to his mission. So you have to be doing something that scares the daylights out of him.

I will be praying.

[drill]

I will be praying for you too.

[Cleanedbyblood]

Its starting to seem like my dad is also mad at me or something because he's not talking to me half as much as he used to. My dad and I could talk for a while about our similar interests (mainly music and musical instruments) but there are some days (like today) where he will barely say two words to me.
Work is not going well, my supervisor keeps getting on my case because I don't get half as many people signed up for credit cards, but i'm not the only one who sucks at it, but she seems to be singling me out. I've already talked to my store manager a few weeks ago about getting transferred to another department. I can't remember if i told him that i was not interviewed to be a cashier, I was interviewed to be in inventory or garden. I've already come to the conclusion that i need to seek other employment, preferably something full time so I can get health insurance.

Edit: My mom wants me and my oldest niece (she's 15 and my dad doesn't seem to get mad at her) to talk to him on Friday, I have no idea what to stay or how to start the conversation.

[bobcat303]

Definitely praying. Keep strong, remember we're praying for you and that God loves you...:'(

[Cleanedbyblood]

My mom just informed me that my dad refuses to go through with the adoption and mom's threatened divorce. I ha

[Cleanedbyblood]

My mom just informed me that my dad refuses to go through with the adoption and mom's threatened divorce. I half expected my dad to bring up divorce.

[John_Smith]

Your entire family has my prayers.