Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby Atria35 » Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:37 pm

My opinion: Let life happen. You can go to all-Christian-events-all-the-time and not meet somebody. You might meet somebody randomly on the street. Whatever happens will. Just make sure that it doesn't consume you to the point you can't enjoy life without a girlfriend/wife, because that would be sad.
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby dothackzero » Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:38 pm

Vilo159 wrote:But your response to him had nothing to do with the OP either, so with that logic, why would you respond? I don't think his comment was completely irrelevant, just a passing mildly humorous comment. But instead of just letting it go, you pounced on him like you always seem to do. If that wasn't your intention, sorry, I misunderstood you. Anyway, this whole argument is off topic, so I'll be done now. Sorry for taking up so much space, guys. If you want to keep going, Xeno, feel free to take it to PM.


Well, it was sorta serious. I mean if your not going into something that Christian Colleges are teaching, there really isn't even much of a reason to be there. Which just makes it harder to find someone.

Atria35 wrote:My opinion: Let life happen. You can go to all-Christian-events-all-the-time and not meet somebody. You might meet somebody randomly on the street. Whatever happens will. Just make sure that it doesn't consume you to the point you can't enjoy life without a girlfriend/wife, because that would be sad.


Or in other words, don't follow my example. :p
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby impact777 » Wed Dec 05, 2012 1:11 pm

Oh Wow! So many postings. O_O Than you very much. They were all very helpful.
@DaughterOfZion: Yeah, you're right. Colleges here are much different from the ones in the US. ^^
It's pretty small. No match with any college in the US I think.
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby MrKrillz0r » Wed Dec 05, 2012 2:39 pm

I'm was sort of in the same situation as you are, though I was more interested in just finding Christian friends. And for me the solution was to get involved in Christian community, which God helped me with. (I was praying that I would be able to find Christian community with people around my age, and I talked with my pastor and he prayed for me as well. And suddenly out of nowhere my cousin asked me if I wanted to go to a latenight Friday sermon, and it was amazing!) And right now I am going there every Friday night, and I plan to get involved in the Bible study groups and whatever. I've also gotten to know a few guys a bit, and it's great! (And there are a lot of girls there as well.. ^^)

I think getting involved in Christian community is the best way for you to meet both friends and maybe find someone special. I'd advice praying about it and not give up, search and you will find! But as the others said this shouldn't be your only motivation for going there, what's most important is to go there and get to worship God and grow in your faith. I think that as we search God and become part of the Church, He will lead us on the right path and if God wants us to marry, He will surely provide that for us as well.
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby randomuser2349 » Wed Dec 05, 2012 3:15 pm

Go to a church event.

Or you could try some Christian online dating services.
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby Yuki-Anne » Wed Dec 05, 2012 4:02 pm

DarkNozomi wrote:Most "Christians" of either gender are phonies, so consider not making that your primary criteria for a marriage partner. Find someone who's a good person, who cares about you and others, and who you really click with. If she's a good person she will respect your faith.


I'm pouncing on this because I SUPER disagree with it. I take my faith very seriously, so seriously that it is the #1 influence on all of my career decisions. Why should it not also be the #1 influence on picking the person I will spend the rest of my life with? I don't want to get into an argument about the "equally yoked" thing at all; I'm not talking about that. I'm just saying, if your faith is the most important thing in your life to you, why would you not want to spend the rest of your life with someone you can share that with?

I'm not even saying you couldn't have a good marriage with a good person who respects your faith, but personally one of the most important things for me is praying with my s/o. It's a wonderful time of connecting and it is so meaningful. If he was not a Christian, we would not be able to share that very important part of my life.

Speaking of prayer... while my first piece of advice was actually tongue in cheek (I don't ACTUALLY recommend going to Bible college just for a spouse), here is the advice I will give:
I was in a similar boat, even (perhaps especially) during my years at Bible college. I didn't date any guys from Bible college. I never got asked out once by any of them. And then I became a missionary in Japan. If you want to talk about slim pickings, try going to a place where less than 1% of the population is Christian, and probably around half of the Christians are old folks. Not even talking about young married couples and children. So basically the pickings are less than 1/4th of less than 1% of the population. And I wasn't into "phony" Christians, either. I had a very specific idea of what I was looking for: a Christian guy who took his faith seriously and prayed regularly.

Fat chance.

So I prayed. I think I probably prayed every day. I always prayed something along the lines of, "God, you know how much I want this. I'll follow you wherever you send me, I'll stay single for the rest of my life if that's what you want, but I have to believe that this desire, something you created me with, is here for a reason. I want a family. So, God, please send me this guy. Please send me a man who loves You. Please send me a man who prays."

There were other things I wanted. I wanted him to be Japanese. I wanted him to be smart. I wanted him to love kids. I wanted him to be not too much taller than me so that my neck didn't hurt when we kissed. You know, little stuff that you can go without. But the most important stuff was that: man who loves Jesus. Man who prays.

It took a while, but I did meet that guy. I knew it was him because he was one of the only guys who has ever offered to pray with me about something during a normal conversation. And he had all the other stuff I wanted too but had thought was a little stupid to pray for.

I'm sorry that I seem to be waxing long about my own life, but basically what I'm saying is, what I believe about it is, that you've got to make Jesus so important in your life that you're willing to follow him regardless of whether marriage is in that future or not. And you've got to pray. Don't just pray for a spouse. Pray because your relationship with God is more important than a spouse. And be patient. Waiting is tough but it helps you grow.

I'm not saying prayer will magically grant you a spouse. The hard truth is that some people pray for spouses all their lives and never get married. But they know that following God is more important than getting married, and I believe God treasures everyone's earnest prayers, regardless of whether the answer is yes or no... or wait.
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby DaughterOfZion » Wed Dec 05, 2012 4:05 pm

impact777 wrote: It's pretty small. No match with any college in the US I think.

7000 is still a pretty good size here, mine has 2000 or so. Yours also sounds a lot more rigorous than many typical colleges here. Not that it's a surprise considering you live in Germany, ha ha.

Anyways to the topic, since you live in Germany your best chances of finding someone (anyone, male or female, friend or whatever) who is in your age group and has similar religious views as you is probably going to be in places having to do with religious practices. I don't know what church is like for you, but many American churches will have their regular Sunday (or Saturday if you're 7th day) services and then also have smaller groups that occur on whatever day of the week they choose where people can learn about other things in-depth in smaller, more personal settings. There are often groups for young adults, recently marrieds, singles etc. If there isn't anything like that at you're church you're probably just going to have to strike up conversations with people of your age after service and make friendships that way. Like many have said you're just going to have to let things happen naturally from there. Just make friends with lots of people and see what happens.

You're probably going to have to work much harder to find someone your age than many of us in America have to work. It's very hard for many of us to understand what it's like not having "Christian people" being as abundant as air, especially if you live in the Bible Belt like I do where there's practically a church on every corner. Just try to hang out where you know religious people are and see what happens. There's no one good answer. I suppose if you ever get desperate you could look for a Christian German dating site. ;p

Anyways, good luck to you. :)
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby MrKrillz0r » Wed Dec 05, 2012 5:25 pm

Yuki-Anne's post was just amazingly awesome, I think many of us could learn a great deal regarding dating and marriage from reading that post. I would encourage you to really take this post to heart impact777, at least I will!
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby armeck » Wed Dec 05, 2012 6:49 pm

Vilo if you've been on the forum for less than one year it's generally not a good idea to call out someone who has been here for 8.

Also Impact earlier you said you are too old to being a new study. Now, if this is your personal feeling I understand but if it would make you feel any better I go to college with a man who is easily 70 years old.
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby Nate » Wed Dec 05, 2012 6:58 pm

Yuki-Anne wrote:I take my faith very seriously, so seriously that it is the #1 influence on all of my career decisions. Why should it not also be the #1 influence on picking the person I will spend the rest of my life with? I don't want to get into an argument about the "equally yoked" thing at all; I'm not talking about that. I'm just saying, if your faith is the most important thing in your life to you, why would you not want to spend the rest of your life with someone you can share that with?

I take my faith very seriously too, and it is a vital part of my being, and it is not the number one influence on picking the person I will spend the rest of my life with. The reason why I do not care about my partner sharing my faith despite its importance to me is because ultimately, sharing the same faith is not a strong bond at all. Putting aside the yoked verse, the "phony" charge, to me it boils down to this.

You have probably seen me interact with other Christians on this board. My faith is very important to me, and their faith is very important to them. However, as you may well have seen, often times we have very strong disagreements, even severe disagreements. It wouldn't be a stretch to say I have made some enemies on this site, and there are many others who do not care for my presence. This happens despite the fact that almost all of us here love God and take our faith very seriously. But in addition to our faith, we also have other things about our religion that we take very seriously. Commands on how to live, how to interpret things, stuff like that.

And ultimately, even with our common faith in Christ, we come to vastly different conclusions on what the Bible says and how we should act. So much so that it makes me incompatible with those people in relationships (friendship and otherwise). That doesn't mean we have to dislike each other necessarily (although that does happen), but it does mean we can't share a life together in any real capacity because it would merely lead to argument and stress.

So to me, simply having the same faith, literally means nothing. To me, certain beliefs and actions are more important than faith. I don't mean as far as salvation or in God's eyes, I mean in my human eyes. To me, I would rather marry someone of a completely different religion who shared my views on political and social issues, than someone of the same religion who disagreed with me on all of them.

But that's just me.
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby DaughterOfZion » Wed Dec 05, 2012 7:10 pm

armeck wrote: Also Impact earlier you said you are too old to being a new study. Now, if this is your personal feeling I understand but if it would make you feel any better I go to college with a man who is easily 70 years old.

Impact will have to correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe the issue has nothing to do with how he feels. Germans don't have to pay to go to a public college, and many of them complete what we would call freshman and sophmore years in high school and then they move right into upper coursework once in uni. I'm guessing that the German system is set up in such a way that once you have your degree you simply CAN'T go back to school unless you go on your own dime. Again this is only conjecture, Impact will have to confirm or deny my guess.
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby Peanut » Wed Dec 05, 2012 7:27 pm

Check under rocks.
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby Zeldafan2 » Wed Dec 05, 2012 7:34 pm

I basicially agree with what everyone's already said here (referring to the OP). Christian Bible colleges, Bible study groups, Church, all good places to find Christian girlfriends.

So to me, simply having the same faith, literally means nothing. To me, certain beliefs and actions are more important than faith. I don't mean as far as salvation or in God's eyes, I mean in my human eyes. To me, I would rather marry someone of a completely different religion who shared my views on political and social issues, than someone of the same religion who disagreed with me on all of them.

But that's just me.


Now, while I'm with Yuki-anne on this (someone sharing the same faith as me is something I would definitley want if I ever got married), you make some good points here. You can share the same faith, and be saved in Christ, and yet have so many different views on political, and social views. This in itself can turn a marriage into a very stressful relationship. While I may not be married, my extended family has very different political and social outlooks than I do, so that tends to lead to various debates sparking from these issues.
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby Xeno » Wed Dec 05, 2012 7:41 pm

Zeldafan2 wrote:I basicially agree with what everyone's already said here (referring to the OP). Christian Bible colleges, Bible study groups, Church, all good places to find Christian girlfriends.

Again, I think this needs to be pointed out. The OP lives in Germany, aka Deutschland, located in central Europe, bordered by Denmark, Poland, the Czech Republic, Austria, Switzerland, France, Luxembourg, Belgium, and the Netherlands. Recommending christian colleges might make sense for people here in the US; for the OP, it's going to make him look kind of creepy if he's just chilling around random christian colleges trying to meet girls.

And Yuki was joking when she recommended that in the first place as she's said a couple of times now.
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby Yuki-Anne » Wed Dec 05, 2012 7:42 pm

Nate wrote:I take my faith very seriously too, and it is a vital part of my being, and it is not the number one influence on picking the person I will spend the rest of my life with. The reason why I do not care about my partner sharing my faith despite its importance to me is because ultimately, sharing the same faith is not a strong bond at all. Putting aside the yoked verse, the "phony" charge, to me it boils down to this.

You have probably seen me interact with other Christians on this board. My faith is very important to me, and their faith is very important to them. However, as you may well have seen, often times we have very strong disagreements, even severe disagreements. It wouldn't be a stretch to say I have made some enemies on this site, and there are many others who do not care for my presence. This happens despite the fact that almost all of us here love God and take our faith very seriously. But in addition to our faith, we also have other things about our religion that we take very seriously. Commands on how to live, how to interpret things, stuff like that.

And ultimately, even with our common faith in Christ, we come to vastly different conclusions on what the Bible says and how we should act. So much so that it makes me incompatible with those people in relationships (friendship and otherwise). That doesn't mean we have to dislike each other necessarily (although that does happen), but it does mean we can't share a life together in any real capacity because it would merely lead to argument and stress.

So to me, simply having the same faith, literally means nothing. To me, certain beliefs and actions are more important than faith. I don't mean as far as salvation or in God's eyes, I mean in my human eyes. To me, I would rather marry someone of a completely different religion who shared my views on political and social issues, than someone of the same religion who disagreed with me on all of them.

But that's just me.


True. Perhaps I should have clarified that aside from prayer and faith there were a few other things that would have ended up being deal breakers sooner or later. If, for example, I had met a man who prayed with me and yet demanded that I be in the kitchen and shut up because "women must be silent, the Bible says so"... well, I would not be marrying that person. By God's blessing (or perhaps by luck if you'd prefer that), the man I found who adhered to the first and most important deal-breakers (strong faith and regular prayer), turned out to be even better than I could have hoped in the other categories (for example, he wants to take on the cooking responsibilities in the marriage and he values my opinion because I am a woman, rather than discarding it or listening even though I'm a woman).

I guess blending what I've said with what Nate has said (and Nate has made some very valid points), faith is very important (I won't stop maintaining that), but making sure you're compatible on other levels is vitally important as well, and should not be ignored.

And again, the Christian college thing was a joke.
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby Zeldafan2 » Wed Dec 05, 2012 8:53 pm

Xeno wrote:
Zeldafan2 wrote:I basicially agree with what everyone's already said here (referring to the OP). Christian Bible colleges, Bible study groups, Church, all good places to find Christian girlfriends.

Again, I think this needs to be pointed out. The OP lives in Germany, aka Deutschland, located in central Europe, bordered by Denmark, Poland, the Czech Republic, Austria, Switzerland, France, Luxembourg, Belgium, and the Netherlands. Recommending christian colleges might make sense for people here in the US; for the OP, it's going to make him look kind of creepy if he's just chilling around random christian colleges trying to meet girls.

And Yuki was joking when she recommended that in the first place as she's said a couple of times now.


You are correct. When I made that post, I wasn't really thinking about it. Of course its ridiculous to go to a Christian college just to meet potential girlfriends. Apologies for making a post without thinking. (Something I sadly tend to do often.)
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby Warrior4Christ » Thu Dec 06, 2012 5:16 am

Nate wrote:
Yuki-Anne wrote:I take my faith very seriously, so seriously that it is the #1 influence on all of my career decisions. Why should it not also be the #1 influence on picking the person I will spend the rest of my life with? I don't want to get into an argument about the "equally yoked" thing at all; I'm not talking about that. I'm just saying, if your faith is the most important thing in your life to you, why would you not want to spend the rest of your life with someone you can share that with?

I take my faith very seriously too, and it is a vital part of my being, and it is not the number one influence on picking the person I will spend the rest of my life with. The reason why I do not care about my partner sharing my faith despite its importance to me is because ultimately, sharing the same faith is not a strong bond at all. Putting aside the yoked verse, the "phony" charge, to me it boils down to this.

You have probably seen me interact with other Christians on this board. My faith is very important to me, and their faith is very important to them. However, as you may well have seen, often times we have very strong disagreements, even severe disagreements. It wouldn't be a stretch to say I have made some enemies on this site, and there are many others who do not care for my presence. This happens despite the fact that almost all of us here love God and take our faith very seriously. But in addition to our faith, we also have other things about our religion that we take very seriously. Commands on how to live, how to interpret things, stuff like that.

And ultimately, even with our common faith in Christ, we come to vastly different conclusions on what the Bible says and how we should act. So much so that it makes me incompatible with those people in relationships (friendship and otherwise). That doesn't mean we have to dislike each other necessarily (although that does happen), but it does mean we can't share a life together in any real capacity because it would merely lead to argument and stress.

So to me, simply having the same faith, literally means nothing. To me, certain beliefs and actions are more important than faith. I don't mean as far as salvation or in God's eyes, I mean in my human eyes. To me, I would rather marry someone of a completely different religion who shared my views on political and social issues, than someone of the same religion who disagreed with me on all of them.

But that's just me.

Unity in the body of Christ, yo. Goodness of fellowship and such. John 13:34-35 makes it sound like it should transcend our differences:
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
There should be an obvious difference between Jesus' disciples and others in the way they love each other (following the example of Christ himself).
I disagree with other points on this position, but I'll leave it there for now.

DarkNozomi wrote:Most "Christians" of either gender are phonies, so consider not making that your primary criteria for a marriage partner. Find someone who's a good person, who cares about you and others, and who you really click with. If she's a good person she will respect your faith.

Ouch...

I highly recommend finding someone with the same faith as you. It goes well beyond just "respecting your faith" - but helps active mutual encouragement and growth (as opposed to passive "respecting").
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby Xeno » Thu Dec 06, 2012 5:31 am

Warrior4Christ wrote:Unity in the body of Christ, yo. Goodness of fellowship and such. John 13:34-35 makes it sound like it should transcend our differences:
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
There should be an obvious difference between Jesus' disciples and others in the way they love each other (following the example of Christ himself).
I disagree with other points on this position, but I'll leave it there for now.

I highly recommend finding someone with the same faith as you. It goes well beyond just "respecting your faith" - but helps active mutual encouragement and growth (as opposed to passive "respecting").

Okay, legitimate question, I'm not trying to be the jerk I usually am. That verse seems to be talking about general love for each other in that it allows people to know the diciples were just that, diciples of Jesus. The verse doesn't seem to have anything to do with marriage or other relationships, though Jesus did say that really the Ten Commandments were really just two and that the second commandment was to love your neighbor. It would be very difficult for two people who are completely different politically to remain happily married just because they're both Baptist.

So, how so you come to the conclusion that this verse plays into the "you should marry someone of the same faith" thing?
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby QtheQreater » Thu Dec 06, 2012 6:13 am

Xeno wrote:
Warrior4Christ wrote:Unity in the body of Christ, yo. Goodness of fellowship and such. John 13:34-35 makes it sound like it should transcend our differences:
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
There should be an obvious difference between Jesus' disciples and others in the way they love each other (following the example of Christ himself).
I disagree with other points on this position, but I'll leave it there for now.

I highly recommend finding someone with the same faith as you. It goes well beyond just "respecting your faith" - but helps active mutual encouragement and growth (as opposed to passive "respecting").

Okay, legitimate question, I'm not trying to be the jerk I usually am. That verse seems to be talking about general love for each other in that it allows people to know the diciples were just that, diciples of Jesus. The verse doesn't seem to have anything to do with marriage or other relationships, though Jesus did say that really the Ten Commandments were really just two and that the second commandment was to love your neighbor. It would be very difficult for two people who are completely different politically to remain happily married just because they're both Baptist.

So, how so you come to the conclusion that this verse plays into the "you should marry someone of the same faith" thing?


This is touching a little too close to interpretive stuff for comfort on this board, but I will hazard that the "marry the same faith" reading comes out of the concept in that passage that Christians should not participate in the activities of unbelievers that contradict the faith. As an extension of that, the idea goes something like this: can you marry someone and really expect to stay free of anything that they do in your household which explicitly doesn't follow what you believe without sinning, commisively or omissively? As in, why actively choose that possibility? If that makes sense...

Personally, since I believe that there is a judgement, I don't think I would be able to deal with the idea that a hypothetical "unbelieving spouse" would definitely go to hell if he died. Sounds like a really great way to be a horrible influence on someone you love: "dear, I'm just so worried that you aren't going to see eternity in Heaven. Convert! Convert!" Obviously, there's a huge difference between finding yourself in that kind of marriage and choosing it...but yeah.
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Thu Dec 06, 2012 10:51 am

Someone sharing the same faith as me is an important aspect of who to date, but it's certainly not the primary aspect. For one thing, there's tons of different kinds of Christians all with varying beliefs here and there. Certain beliefs stem from other beliefs which in the end I have a strong incompatibility with.

Like I don't think I could date a girl who was strictly opposed towards homosexual marriage and considered it as some sort of heinous crime towards humanity.

I wouldn't mind dating an atheist as long as we both held a mutual respect for each others' beliefs. This implies that we held each others' beliefs to actually be respectable. It's certainly possible for me to do on my end.
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby Nate » Thu Dec 06, 2012 7:14 pm

Warrior4Christ wrote:Unity in the body of Christ, yo. Goodness of fellowship and such. John 13:34-35 makes it sound like it should transcend our differences:
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

While that all sounds well and good, it takes two people to make a working relationship. To bring up the worst example, you really think Fred Phelps would live in peace and harmony with you and love you? Doesn't matter how much effort you put forth, he would continue to be a hate-filled old man and there's really nothing you can do about that. In that case, I think the best you can do to approach love would be just not to talk to him or antagonize him.

That's more or less what I do with the people on this board that I don't get along with (and never will). I do my best not to lash out at them, I try to ignore what they say, and not cause trouble. I fail sometimes, because I'm human and imperfect, but I don't think I'm doing wrong by not being able to have a functional friendly relationship with some people. This world is fallen, and unfortunately some people just cannot get along no matter what.
QtheQreater wrote:Personally, since I believe that there is a judgement, I don't think I would be able to deal with the idea that a hypothetical "unbelieving spouse" would definitely go to hell if he died. Sounds like a really great way to be a horrible influence on someone you love: "dear, I'm just so worried that you aren't going to see eternity in Heaven. Convert! Convert!"

Yeah but isn't there a verse about how your faith will justify your spouse or something like that? Because I think that's one of the verses that's talking against divorce, basically saying "If you're married to an unbeliever don't divorce them, stick with them" and whatnot. If that verse is true, then marrying someone who isn't Christian shouldn't be no thang. Of course if it isn't true then the whole thing goes out the window I guess.
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby QtheQreater » Thu Dec 06, 2012 8:24 pm

Nate wrote:Yeah but isn't there a verse about how your faith will justify your spouse or something like that? Because I think that's one of the verses that's talking against divorce, basically saying "If you're married to an unbeliever don't divorce them, stick with them" and whatnot. If that verse is true, then marrying someone who isn't Christian shouldn't be no thang. Of course if it isn't true then the whole thing goes out the window I guess.


I guess a good full reference to that would be 1 Corinthians 7:10-24. The context is about not leaving the state you were called in, I think. As in, if you convert and your spouse is unbelieving, don't divorce them if they are willing to live with you because who knows? You may the instrument that leads them to the Lord. The issue there is breaking the marriage covenant. It says nothing about whether or not marrying an unbeliever in the first place is a good idea or not, maybe? I mean, it can be inferred from 2 Corinthians, I think, but not necessarily here.

That was a bit of a ramble because I'm not sure I'm getting what you mean.

Anyway, what I'm saying is that I wouldn't choose to make an intimate connection like marriage with someone that I knew wasn't going to the same eternal place I am. I think in a situation like that it is unwise to think that you might change someone after you marry them. Do people do that? Yeah. Does it work sometimes? Maybe. That doesn't make it a very good idea.
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby Nate » Thu Dec 06, 2012 8:35 pm

QtheQreater wrote:That was a bit of a ramble because I'm not sure I'm getting what you mean.

I think I was confused too and yeah I think you're right about the whole thing about "don't leave the situation you're in" part.
Anyway, what I'm saying is that I wouldn't choose to make an intimate connection like marriage with someone that I knew wasn't going to the same eternal place I am.

But why? If you assume there is no unhappiness in Heaven, then you can't possibly be sad that your spouse didn't get to Heaven, so there's no need to worry about that. Since things like marriage are meaningless in Heaven, it can't be because you'll be "lonely" in Heaven without them. Will you even remember them? How much of our lives will we remember in Heaven? It's entirely possible we won't remember this life, or even care about it, so why would it matter?

In any case, I disagree about "not making an intimate connection." My brother isn't Christian, should I just give up talking to him because of it because I don't want to worry about him not going to Heaven? Okay, I realize, not the same thing, as you can't really choose your family members. Still, you could use that argument for say, children. Would you choose to make an intimate connection like having a child if you knew the child wasn't going to the same eternal place as you are?

I don't expect an answer to that question, by the way. That's kind of a harsh question and it's pretty emotionally heavy, and I really doubt anyone could just give a simple yes or no question...but that's kinda my point. You shouldn't choose to not have a kid because they could end up choosing to be atheist or Buddhist or Hindu or whatever, and as far as I'm concerned you shouldn't choose to not get married to someone you love just because they're not the same religion as you.

But again, as I said to Yuki-Anne, that's just my personal take. For others, being the same religion is an extremely important thing to have in a spouse and I'm not gonna bash that. It's just not a sentiment I can see eye-to-eye on.
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby goldenspines » Thu Dec 06, 2012 9:19 pm

This line of discussion is getting too far off topic. Please take it to PM.
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby Yamamaya » Fri Dec 07, 2012 6:32 pm

Dude, come to the US for a bit. There are tons of desperate Christian girls that would adore a European Christian man such as yourself.

But on a slightly more practical note, that's something that has to happen naturally.
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby Yuki-Anne » Fri Dec 07, 2012 7:09 pm

Yamamaya wrote:Dude, come to the US for a bit. There are tons of desperate Christian girls that would adore a European Christian man such as yourself.


He's not far off. American girls love European accents.
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby Cap'n Nick » Fri Dec 07, 2012 8:10 pm

It's true that having the same religion isn't a guarantee of having a good relationship, but it's also true that agreeing on a religion makes it a lot easier to teach it to one's children. Marrying somebody of a different faith is akin to saying "one of us just doesn't care if our children don't have the same faith." If that person is the non-Christian, the Christian must ask themselves if they're really okay shouldering the faith-teaching aspect of parenthood all by themselves, or the possibility of having to "re-educate" their children in opposition to their spouse. If that person is the Christian, they must ask themselves why they need faith in Jesus but their children don't.

In America especially people have demonstrated an outright defiance to behaving predictably according to their faith labels, but that simply doesn't mean that faith has no bearing on marriage for people who believe in Jesus as the way to salvation.
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby Warrior4Christ » Sat Dec 08, 2012 12:37 am

While this isn't only about just the current question ("where do I find a Christian girlfriend?"), it does kind of cover some points about it, and it might be generally useful and interesting anyway, since it's on the dating topic. It's a video on the chapter of the book Religion Saves And Nine Other Misconceptions by Mark Driscoll. It goes for an hour, but it's worth it. Or read the book.
http://marshill.com/media/religionsaves/dating

Just briefly...

Xeno wrote:
Warrior4Christ wrote:Unity in the body of Christ, yo. Goodness of fellowship and such. John 13:34-35 makes it sound like it should transcend our differences:
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
There should be an obvious difference between Jesus' disciples and others in the way they love each other (following the example of Christ himself).
I disagree with other points on this position, but I'll leave it there for now.

I highly recommend finding someone with the same faith as you. It goes well beyond just "respecting your faith" - but helps active mutual encouragement and growth (as opposed to passive "respecting").

Okay, legitimate question, I'm not trying to be the jerk I usually am. That verse seems to be talking about general love for each other in that it allows people to know the diciples were just that, diciples of Jesus. The verse doesn't seem to have anything to do with marriage or other relationships, though Jesus did say that really the Ten Commandments were really just two and that the second commandment was to love your neighbor. It would be very difficult for two people who are completely different politically to remain happily married just because they're both Baptist.

So, how so you come to the conclusion that this verse plays into the "you should marry someone of the same faith" thing?

I completely agree that the verse is about general love of other disciples of Jesus that you aren't married to. It was more of a response to Nate's implication that faith is more divisive than unifying - I believe that is it unifying. In a "we're next to each other at the Lord's communion table.. and in fact, here, you go first and have the prime seating position - even though I believe in baptising infants and you don't" kind of way. It's not just a human effort in loving others - we have the Spirit.

Nate wrote:
Warrior4Christ wrote:Unity in the body of Christ, yo. Goodness of fellowship and such. John 13:34-35 makes it sound like it should transcend our differences:
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

While that all sounds well and good, it takes two people to make a working relationship. To bring up the worst example, you really think Fred Phelps would live in peace and harmony with you and love you? Doesn't matter how much effort you put forth, he would continue to be a hate-filled old man and there's really nothing you can do about that. In that case, I think the best you can do to approach love would be just not to talk to him or antagonize him.

Well, yes. The command was for both parties - if they're a disciple of Jesus, they should take heed of the command. So you do your part in following it, and it's up to them to do their part. Yes, it's hard when they're not willing to reciprocate.
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby impact777 » Sat Dec 08, 2012 12:58 am

Very interesting discussion! :) Thanks to everyone.
@Yamamaya: Allright! I'll come. ^^
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Re: Where to find a Christian girlfriend...

Postby SierraLea » Sat Dec 08, 2012 10:36 am

Best place to look, church or something related.
Worst place to look, bars and streets. I'm joking.
But seriously, Church and other religious activities can be one of the best ways to meet someone. My almost boyfriend met me through church, and that's where all of my friends are from.
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