At this moment in time, God is revealing everything that is in my heart and showing me everything that I have committed against him and to others. He is chastising me and cleansing me of all of my sins and I am at a point in my life in which what happens now will determine not only the way my life will live out but also even the sate of my eternal life also. I need serious help. There is hope, and there is chance that I will get out of this as a new man in Christ Jesus our Lord and savior. At this moment in my life, I am not "safe" and there is a risk that I cannot put here but I need God's help and I need him to cleanse me of all my sins, to cleanse my heart, and to renew my mind. There is a lot that I have done wrong in my life and I cannot change the past no matter what. I wish that I could, but I cannot. I really need prayer that I will survive this time in my life, and if I do: Then I will be Cleansed and Clean and Perfect. I am on thin ice and I just need....help from God and from his Son and from the Holy Ghost. There is a chance that I will leave this tent during this time-period. (There is a lot that I have done wrong in my life, and even if they are small in man's eyes, in God's eyes they are mountains that I am not letting Him move.) I know He loves me because this chastising would not be happening at this moment if not. Also, this period of time (Age 18) is when all of my mother's sons and daughters turned from Him and have gone to the situations in life in which they are currently in. This is Major and if I do one thing wrong at this moment in time, I will be lost. I really, really, really need God's divine favor and his Son to help me. It all has to do with how my heart is right now. It is not because of any "Major" sin, it is Me that is causing this. There are two roads in front of me and the only one who knows the correct path is God, and if I do not go on the path he wants me to take: Then I will actually be destroyed. I enjoyed the time here, it helped me clam down reading everything. There is a presence in this Website and I thank you all for just being on this site. But at this moment in time, I am skating on no-ice at all. God is keeping me from falling into the Pit that I have dug with my heart because he knows that there is a small chance that I will not end up in a terrible situation. I ALMOST was completely and utterly destroyed tonight. (I am not talking about my body, but about my Name, about my future, and about my eternal life in Christ Jesus my Lord and Savior.) I...need...help. Again, my Life is not "safe" at this moment. I don't know what to do and I am deeply sorry for everything I have done in my life. I looked at a picture of me when I was one and I thought "What caused that sweet innocent child to end up like this?", and the answer came to me: Sin. God Really wants my heart to be 100% Clean and Holy. He is doing everything He can to do this, to save me from myself and I need help. If I do one thing wrong at this moment in time, I my life will be 100% ruined.
Again, I thank you all for the calm and refreshing spirit that I felt here when I was logged on (That is why I was logged on when I was working and doing my College Work) and I wish you all a happy Christmas and a Happy New Year.