Being Myself

[Makachop^^128]

Recently I've gotten through a lot of things, I've learned a lot more about myself and have a lot more confidence in God, and have been more myself. The problem is I feel like I overpower people, I have been told I do in the past, that I have a strong personality. My ex used to always used to have a problem with that, I would literally scare him he would say. I've been praying about being the person God wants me to be, thinking maybe I needa be more gentle but I just become more and more strong and how I am already. When I go to hang out with people I just feel like I overwhelm them. Anyway I'd like prayer that I'd just be the person God wants me to be, and if that means more gentle then so be it lol

[Atria35]

Praying!

[Xeno]

I'll definitely pray for you Maka, but I do want to point out that there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a strong a-type personality. Some people have it and some don't. Those that don't can tend to be intimidated by those who did, but it doesn't mean your doing something wrong, maybe you should just try to be more aware of it I stead of wanting to change the kind of personality you have.

[Makachop^^128]

Thank you guys, I know I needa be myself, I think the big thing why its such a problem lately is I've had like so much energy, and I think that's because I just got through like 5 months of extreme stress, and now I'm feeling a lot better.

I also wanted prayer for something else lol I'm starting to really like another guy, I know I had just left my ex about 3-4 months ago and I feel a bit guilty to like someone new. I've been friends with this guy for about 4 years, he's a strong christian and we get along really really well. I'd just like prayer for Gods will, I feel scared I'll make another mistake misinterpreting Gods will.

[Atria35]

It might not be that you misinterpreted His will. Sometimes God leads us to relationships because we learn something from them or can do something in them for the better even if ultimately they don't work out or are bad relationships.

A 'relationship' I recently got out of ended up with my reporting him as a sexual predator- and it was obvious from his approach he had done something like this before, but with no previous record or report, had gotten away with it- I put in a complaint, so hopefully will save or prevent him from doing what he did to another girl.

It might not have worked out, but I can see that what I did is a facet of His will. Yours might just not be that apparent, or the lesson you got from it will make itself clear later.

[Xeno]

I also wanted prayer for something else lol I'm starting to really like another guy, I know I had just left my ex about 3-4 months ago and I feel a bit guilty to like someone new. I've been friends with this guy for about 4 years, he's a strong christian and we get along really really well. I'd just like prayer for Gods will, I feel scared I'll make another mistake misinterpreting Gods will.

Awesome, I hope that works out for you.

Also: Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God's Will or How to Make a Decision Without Dreams, Visions, Fleeces, Impressions, Open Doors, Random ... Liver Shivers, Writing in the Sky, etc.

[Yuki-Anne]

Maka- I'm praying for you. I've been through that before, where I felt like I was too much and I overwhelmed people. We all have rough edges and if we trust God and serve Him, he'll smooth them out. But God created you special; you are handcrafted. So if you ever feel like you are "just too much," you should know that's a lie from the devil. You are neither "too much" nor "not enough."

I've been reading Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge and it addresses this very issue. I highly recommend that you read it; it's about understanding who you are as a woman created by God, and it's not about "the way Christian women act" or any of that oppressive nonsense that has turned many a Christian woman into a Betty Crocker wannabe.

It sounds like your ex may have been worse for you than you realize. If you were "too much" for him, then he was not interested in loving you for who you really are. If someone "can't handle" you as you really are, then that is their problem, not yours. Obviously you should be careful to be sensitive to the feelings and wishes of others and not just steamroll over passive people, but you are valuable and fun and unique just as you are, and don't let any old ex's words ruin the precious gem that is your unique personality.

And seriously, read Captivating. I'm not even done with it yet and it has completely changed for the better the way I view myself as a woman, and the way I view my relationships with the opposite sex.

EDIT: Oh, also, you already are the person God wants you to be. Pray that God will mold your life so that you can be the most YOU possible. God didn't create you to be anybody else.

[Makachop^^128]

I have read captivating! I love that book Xeno I'll check out that book thanks

It might not be that you misinterpreted His will. Sometimes God leads us to relationships because we learn something from them or can do something in them for the better even if ultimately they don't work out or are bad relationships.

That is true I think I have come out of the relationship more Godly minded and focused on him. so that is good. and I'm sorry about your ex >.> he sounds....horrible.

Thank you everyone for the prayer

[Makachop^^128]

I'd really like prayer, I feel like I'm under spiritual attack, as most of you most likely know I have just gotten out of a really hard time in my life, I feel like I've grown a lot through it though and feel like I am the most close to God I have ever been. yet recently I really feel like Satan is trying to get me down again.

I have always had a issue with Jealousy, and Self confidence.
When I first started liking the guy I like right now I felt at peace and really calm about it all, but the past week its kinda been crazy, I feel like Satan is trying to use anything he can to get me down, even 13 year old girls, and my best friend! I am really fighting with jealousy, I'd really like prayer on it, I'm trying to pray about it when ever a jealous thought comes into my head, it does help alot.

Also recently I've had about 5 rants this week from different guys how ugly I am one guy literally said "you fail at everything you do, you are ugly so quit trying" he went on for about a few minutes like this till I got up and left, one of my friend also did this to me last night saying "you don't shine like other people, you are invisible to everyone" its just too weird to not be a spiritual attack :/ rants like that don't happen normally, and on top of that since about middle school Satan has always used bi and Lesbian girls to get my self esteem down, I've found out in one week about 3 of them like me, I don't hate homosexuals, in fact a lot of my friends are homosexuals, but to have them like me has always made me feel kinda....Manly or something. One girl keeps touching me and putting her legs on me and such, I tell her to stop but she hasn't.

I'd just really like prayer to keep on track with God and not let these things get in the way of it.

[Atria35]

Okay, seriously, man or woman- if anybody keeps touching you when you've said you don't want it, that's sexual harassment. And it needs to be reported.

Maka, I've seen pictures of you (that you posted on here- I'm not a stalker or anything! ^.^"), and you're a very pretty girl. Guys know that girls are sensitive when it comes to their looks, so if they're nasty, then they'll say you aren't pretty just to get you down, regardless of whether it's true or not. And I can guarantee it's not true.

I bet that a good number of your bi/lesbian friends are decently feminine girls, that look pretty and have tradtionally 'girly' interests, etc. I know that a good amount of mine are. Being liked by (or liking, for that matter, though that's not your problem) another girl has no bearing on femininity. I bet it's this mixed with those nasty comments that is making you feel like less of a girl, and that's not the case.

Praying for you. I hope that you'll be able to get into college and away from the town you live in, because that's a nasty environment you're in.

[Xeno]

Okay, seriously, man or woman- if anybody keeps touching you when you've said you don't want it, that's sexual harassment. And it needs to be reported.

Maka, I've seen pictures of you (that you posted on here- I'm not a stalker or anything! ^.^"), and you're a very pretty girl. Guys know that girls are sensitive when it comes to their looks, so if they're nasty, then they'll say you aren't pretty just to get you down, regardless of whether it's true or not. And I can guarantee it's not true.

I bet that a good number of your bi/lesbian friends are decently feminine girls, that look pretty and have tradtionally 'girly' interests, etc. I know that a good amount of mine are. Being liked by (or liking, for that matter, though that's not your problem) another girl has no bearing on femininity. I bet it's this mixed with those nasty comments that is making you feel like less of a girl, and that's not the case.

Praying for you. I hope that you'll be able to get into college and away from the town you live in, because that's a nasty environment you're in.

I literally cannot echo Atria enough on her entire post. More than anything though, you need to report the one girl who is inappropriately touching you. You've told her it is not okay, and that should have been the end of it. At this point you are dealing with unwanted sexual advances, which Atria astutely pointed out constitutes sexual harassment. If this is happening at school then you need to inform the principal, if it's at work then your boss, if at church then your parents and pastor, if elsewhere then the police. That kind of behavior is NOT okay and she needs to be shown that it won't be tolerated.

As far as your appearance goes, I've also seen the pictures you've posted on here, and in the most appropriate way a 24 year old male can say to a 17 year old female, you are very pretty, and those guys don't know what they are talking about. If they're your age then perhaps they're too young to be able to appreciate anything other than what media tells them is truely attractive without developing their own likes and dislikes. But even if someone doesn't like you because of your appearance, they shouldn't go telling you about it, there are some things you just keep to yourself. I have a feeling those guys were trying to prey on this insecurity you're talking about, thinking if they insulted you enough that you might feel worthless enough to do whatever they wanted you to. Some guys are twisted like that.

[Makachop^^128]

Yea I think if she does it again I will, 9th grade year I had t, so I'm not really scared to XD

I know it sounds weird me saying I think its a spiritual attack, but last night I was gonna write on my blog on thanking God while going through hard times, I had just wrote the first sentence and then I got a big message from one of my close friends putting me down, telling me I'm ugly and all, it just seemed so weird. All of the things were timed in a way that seemed to try to make me stop doing what I thought God wanted me to do.

Thank you all for praying

[TheMewster]

Just remember that if the devil is wasting his time on a 17-year-old girl she's got some good works coming out of her sooner or later.

To help your self-esteem: Proverbs 31:30 KJV---Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

[Yuki-Anne]

Yea I think if she does it again I will, 9th grade year I had t, so I'm not really scared to XD

I know it sounds weird me saying I think its a spiritual attack, but last night I was gonna write on my blog on thanking God while going through hard times, I had just wrote the first sentence and then I got a big message from one of my close friends putting me down, telling me I'm ugly and all, it just seemed so weird. All of the things were timed in a way that seemed to try to make me stop doing what I thought God wanted me to do.

Thank you all for praying

Yikes. I'll pray for you, but I think half the battle is realizing that it is a spiritual attack. I'm really proud of you for realizing that. The encouraging thing about realizing that it's spiritual warfare is the knowledge that you've got the big guns on your side. Any attacks against you are the dying breaths of a side that knows it's already lost.
Deut. 31:8
Eph. 6:10-18
Romans 8. All of it. Read it now.

Pray about it, but also recognize that the behavior of these people is, in fact, bullying. There is no other definition for it. Love your enemies, but also don't leave yourself vulnerable to them. "Wise as serpents, harmless as doves," as the Good Book says. So be wise and guard yourself against their bullying, but also be careful not to repay evil for evil.

Praying for you. I find it so unbelievable that people would tell you you're ugly. So unbelievable, both because it's not true, and because it's simply something one does not do. So hang in there. If people are telling you to your face that you are ugly, the problem does not lie with you, but with them.

[Makachop^^128]

Yikes. I'll pray for you, but I think half the battle is realizing that it is a spiritual attack. I'm really proud of you for realizing that. The encouraging thing about realizing that it's spiritual warfare is the knowledge that you've got the big guns on your side. Any attacks against you are the dying breaths of a side that knows it's already lost.
Deut. 31:8
Eph. 6:10-18
Romans 8. All of it. Read it now.

Pray about it, but also recognize that the behavior of these people is, in fact, bullying. There is no other definition for it. Love your enemies, but also don't leave yourself vulnerable to them. "Wise as serpents, harmless as doves," as the Good Book says. So be wise and guard yourself against their bullying, but also be careful not to repay evil for evil.

Praying for you. I find it so unbelievable that people would tell you you're ugly. So unbelievable, both because it's not true, and because it's simply something one does not do. So hang in there. If people are telling you to your face that you are ugly, the problem does not lie with you, but with them.

Thanks I'm gonna read those tonight.
I told my friend to knock it off in a nice way and said it was unneeded, he stopped so thats good.

yea it just....seems kinda weird...over the top, I mean like rants, with them saying things to hurt me that are personal fears of mine its just....kinda weird.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

A professor once said "In order to transcend the self you must first have a self, or rather a healthy self."

We shouldn't just strive to be ourselves. I think we should strive to be love. But in order to do so, we need to first know ourselves. So I think you're taking a step in the right direction here.

[Makachop^^128]

A professor once said "In order to transcend the self you must first have a self, or rather a healthy self."

We shouldn't just strive to be ourselves. I think we should strive to be love. But in order to do so, we need to first know ourselves. So I think you're taking a step in the right direction here.

True, we should be striving to be like Jesus, I feel like I need to learn about myself, my problems so God can help me with them and strengths, as well as learning about God to become more like him. If any of that makes sense lol