"Guard your heart!"

Postby **TheSubtleDoctor** » Thu Apr 14, 2011 2:14 pm

Ladies, ladies, why do this all on your own when you can let Gaiking be the guardian of your heart?

Boys, I dare you to try something.

Postby **Yamamaya** » Thu Apr 14, 2011 3:33 pm

TheSubtleDoctor (post: 1471392) wrote:Ladies, ladies, why do this all on your own when you can let Gaiking be the guardian of your heart?

Boys, I dare you to try something.

Simple. I'll just use Eva unit 01 to blow a hole right through Gaiking.

GIVE REI BACK. I DON'T CARE ABOUT MYSELF OR EVEN THE WORLD BUT I'M TAKING REI BACK!1!

Postby **Midori** » Thu Apr 14, 2011 4:34 pm

Um, guys...if you want to spam enormous images, go to goof-off.

Postby **aliveinHim** » Thu Apr 14, 2011 4:55 pm

Hmmmm, what do I say? A lot of people think I'm kind of flirty (I call it being nice). I love hugs, especially from guys. It's not like I'm innappropriately rubbing them. I gave a whole bunch of guys hugs at the anime convention I was at this last Saturday. When my 26 year old cousin comes to visit, I always greet him with a big glomp and he gives me piggy back rides. I know some women who are anti-hug the opposite sex. At my church, we all hug the opposite sex all the time. I always greet the elderly men and my pastor in my church with a hug. I'm personally against recreational dating but that's another conversation. If this guy who you met loves God and is a good Christian, go for him. I do think that we should not just look at the outside. If you want to pursue a relationship, pray first. The whole guarding your heart can be cross referenced to Daniel 1 when Daniel chose not to defile himself with King Nebuchanezzer's food since it violated God's food laws. Guarding your heart isn't necessarily just for relationships.

Postby **TheSubtleDoctor** » Thu Apr 14, 2011 5:36 pm

Midori (post: 1471425) wrote:Um, guys...if you want to spam enormous images, go to goof-off.

I didn't intend to make light of the thread. I just wanted to make people smile.

Postby **Midori** » Thu Apr 14, 2011 5:43 pm

TheSubtleDoctor (post: 1471451) wrote:I didn't intend to make light of the thread. I just wanted to make people smile.

That's fine, but I wanted to make sure an otherwise serious thread didn't get too sidetracked into an image back-and-forth. Also, at the time of my post, Yamamaya had a much huger image in his post.

Postby **Solid Ronin** » Thu Apr 14, 2011 5:43 pm

Never did I think I could find such generic advise on any topic on the internet, Thank you CAA!

Postby **Atria35** » Thu Apr 14, 2011 5:53 pm

Solid Ronin (post: 1471454) wrote:Never did I think I could find such generic advise on any topic on the internet, Thank you CAA!

Did you even read the opening post?

Postby **Yamamaya** » Thu Apr 14, 2011 7:11 pm

Solid Ronin (post: 1471454) wrote:Never did I think I could find such generic advise on any topic on the internet, Thank you CAA!

Atria35 (post: 1471457) wrote:Did you even read the opening post?

I'm guessing probably not.

The one thing I will say about the "guard your heart" phrase that might be worthwhile is to wait before becoming too emotionally involved in someone. Should worse come to worse it can lead to a lot of heartache.

MAL profile · Postby **FllMtl Novelist** » Thu Apr 14, 2011 7:29 pm

Yuki-Anne (post: 1471241) wrote:I read somewhere that girls who grew up with older brothers tend to smile a lot more and find it easier to talk to the opposite sex. I've been noticing that about myself. I smile a lot when I talk to guys, and I generally prefer to make new male friends, because that's who I'm more comfortable talking to. So I can definitely see how I would be perceived as a flirt.

I wish that was the case for me. For a long time my Dad was very vocal about how all the boys in the world were horrible. In contrast, my brothers were declared wonderful. So my brothers, in my mind, got separated from every other guy out there.

And for years I haven't met any friends of my older brother's. So I have no idea how to act around teenage boys in real life (I've figured out how to do it in chat rooms and the like). The advice "Just be yourself!" doesn't help, because I act differently around different people. So should I act how I act towards my [girl] friends (who I already know)? Or should I act how I act around my brothers (which involves many inside jokes)? How should I act around boys?

I have a couple guy friends (which helps with the whole "my brothers =/= all other men" thing), but only online. And I'm pretty sure I'd be awkward if I were to somehow meet them in real life, too, even though I already know them.

My concern isn't with being 'flirty'. I'm a shy person anyway, but with boys I get even more nervous and skittish and worried about being awkward. :/

Postby **Yuki-Anne** » Thu Apr 14, 2011 8:40 pm

Oh my gosh. I have so much to say about parents who make their children think the opposite sex is out to get them and is not to be trusted.

First of all, it's important to acknowledge that parents sometimes have some very serious baggage that they are not dealing with. I will not go into detail, but this was the case with my mom. I have to realize that every single time she told me, "Don't trust attractive men, they're out to use you," she was speaking from her own baggage with things that happened to her in the past that she had buried and was not healing from.

My dad warned me against "worthless young men," and he sometimes said that all young men are worthless before 25. I think I understood that he was being facetious whenever he said this, and merely wanted to make sure I evaluated my options and chose wisely, rather than latching on to the first guy who came along.

For my part, it was really good for me to get out of the house and go to college when I was 17. I learned so much about interpersonal interaction in college, and discovered so much about who I was meant to be and how that person can best relate to the opposite sex. Of course, I'm still learning, but it's been a long road, and one that my parents were ill equipped to guide me down. I think I got the better end of the deal, because my father was mentally a healthier person than my mom (and my mom is not at all the paragon of femininity and healthy womanhood, because her mom never really taught her how to be a woman and embrace that aspect of her personhood), so I learned from him and from my brothers how to interact with men better than my older brothers learned how to interact with women. My oldest brother is still trying to figure out how to even talk to girls. I think this doesn't necessarily have to do with a shy personality, but more with the fact that nobody was able to teach him or show him how to relate well to the opposite sex.

Postby **ShiroiHikari** » Thu Apr 14, 2011 9:23 pm

Yuki-Anne (post: 1471493) wrote:Oh my gosh. I have so much to say about parents who make their children think the opposite sex is out to get them and is not to be trusted.

I have a lot to say about that too, but very little of it is CAA appropriate. >_>

(Also Doc, you are awesome.)

Postby **Sheenar** » Fri Apr 15, 2011 8:42 am

I think the gist of it is to not make rash decisions, to think things through, to be careful with what/who you surround yourself with --not just in romantic relationships, but with all of life.

I have great guy friends. If I try to shake their hand, most of them will be like, "Psh, girl, give me a hug!" I tend to do side-hugs with guys. I try not to be flirty --I just treat everyone the same --I like to talk to people --sometimes have been told I've been flirty even when I didn't realize it/totally was not my intention.

My dad wasn't around (and still isn't), so I haven't really had what godly manhood is (or how to relate to men) modeled for me growing up. It wasn't until I left for college that I met men in my church who modeled that for me (and a few families in my church who "adopted" me helped me see more how healthy family dynamics work.)

Postby **Atria35** » Fri Apr 15, 2011 10:51 am

I have one guy friend who everyone assumes I'm dating because we just get eachother so well.

The problem? We aren't dating. We've talked about it, and while it could have happened the first week we knew eachother, we're at the 'brother by another mother' stage. I'm not exaggerating at all. We joke around and talk like siblings. The only feelings we have for eachother are completely non-romantic and we love eachother like family.

But apparently that means everyone else thinks we're dating. It's so frustrating!

It's nice, though, because he help me out with figuring out how to act with guys. I had no clue for the longest time. Now I'm a lot better with it.

Postby **aliveinHim** » Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:20 pm

I have a friend and he's like a little brother (he's 3 years younger than me). Before he moved, we used to hang out together all the time and some people thought I was being a flirty cougar (I actually have no attraction to younger guys). I hate it when people think I'm flirty because I give a boy a hug or act nicely.

Postby **TGJesusfreak** » Fri Apr 15, 2011 8:32 pm

shooraijin (post: 1471213) wrote:I get labeled as a flirt a lot.

I'm just saying.

.....so do I >_>
Even though I'm never trying to flirt or make a girl like me. XD]Kids, this is why you need to read the Bible in context and not just pull out random verses to apply to modern situations.

First of all, good looking is subjective. So is flirtation. What might be flirty to one person is just friendliness to another.

Forming insta judgments about people isn't cool either, even though we all do it.

Also I think the whole idea, "Guard your heart" for women is just based on an old sexist idea that women are helpless and innocent and must protect themselves from the wicked men. As for men, they are not expected to control themselves, they'll clearly go after any women like a voracious animal.[/QUOTE]

^this

Postby **denimwriter** » Fri Apr 15, 2011 8:55 pm

Even that can apply to relationships and romance. Guarding your heart doesn't always mean thinking every guy is going to take advantage of you. Sometimes it can just be the simple fact of not falling in love with the one you're not meant to be with. You can easily give your heart away without losing virginity....

There are good ways of giving your heart away... like giving it to Jesus Christ.

In song of Songs/song of solomon it says, "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." It doesn't always refer to just sex....

Postby **Yuki-Anne** » Sat Apr 16, 2011 1:28 am

denimwriter (post: 1471812) wrote:Sometimes it can just be the simple fact of not falling in love with the one you're not meant to be with. You can easily give your heart away without losing virginity....

#1. What does "falling in love" entail, exactly? How about "give your heart away"? What does that even mean? Is there some concrete line between, "Interested in pursuing further romantic attachment" and "fallen in love, gave my heart away"?

#2. How exactly am I supposed to know who I'm "meant to be with"? What manner of sign should I wait to receive from God before I know?

#3. At what point, then, is it okay to "fall in love"? Do you have to wait until you've said "I do" to "fall in love"?

#4. What if I "gave my heart away" to someone and then discovered I wasn't "meant to be with" him? Did I sin? Am I somehow a lesser person because I didn't "guard my heart"? How was I supposed to know I wasn't "meant to be with" him, when I prayed and all the signs I got were "go for it!"

I'm going to submit that it's impossible to give your heart away, for several reasons:

1. Literally, you would die.

2. Figuratively, the implication of the statement is that you are giving someone something that cannot be restored. That's simply not true.

I can love someone and experience the pain of that relationship falling apart without having lost a piece of myself. Does heartbreak hurt? Yes. Yes it does. Very much. I "fell in love" with someone I wasn't "meant to be with" and "gave my heart" to that person. And you know what? He broke my heart. And you know what else? I wouldn't change that experience for anything, because I became a better person through it. I am whole. There isn't some small piece of my heart that he still has. I learned a lot about myself, a lot about men, and a lot about love, and loving a man I didn't end up married to doesn't make me somehow a lesser person.

The idea that it's somehow better to only fall in love with one person (the person you were "meant to be with"), and until you find that person, you need to keep your heart protected and locked away, is really naive, if you ask me. I cringe at the phrase "meant to be" because the fact is that sometimes you pray really hard and do everything in your power to make sure it's God's will, and you still end up getting knocked on your hinder. Are breakups a consequence of not listening to God? Or is it just that sometimes bad things happen to you no matter how devotedly you follow God?

I'm gonna go with option 2, because the simple fact is that the woman who dated only one man and ended up married to him is not by default more godly or wise than the woman who experienced a harsh breakup. To imply that a girl (or guy) who's experienced a breakup (especially from someone who for all appearances was who she was "meant to be with") should have waited to fall in love until she was sure is just kicking her while she's down. Because ultimately, people are people, and they aren't perfect, and sometimes they break your heart, "meant to be" or not.

Postby **Atria35** » Sat Apr 16, 2011 5:13 am

^ What Yuki said. Every word. She said it far more eloquently than I ever could. Thank you, Yuki.

Postby **Okami** » Sat Apr 16, 2011 6:27 am

I have to also agree with Yuki.

I used to be that way, extremely rigid in terms of what I wanted out of dating...and looking back, I would have been more hurt by my boundaries than not. Abstinence and purity are crucial, but certainly not above God.

Being celibate has interestingly changed my perspectives that I once held in this area, and definitely helped to reshape and rethink my priorities. Above all, God. His Kingdom. My family. My friends. Purity is just a small portion that weaves through it all - it is the lifestyle I wish to carry and wish to be known by as I go about serving Him.

If two people can hold to such tight standards and still make it work, good for them. But not every relationship functions in the same way. This is something I recognize I need to work on as I watch the relationships around me.

Postby **J.D3** » Sat Apr 16, 2011 7:15 am

Yuki-Anne (post: 1471176) wrote:Backstory: There are lots of single Christians volunteering and working at CRASH headquarters.

Yesterday, I worked with one of them for only the third time in my life. We talked a bit. He doesn't speak English at all, so our conversations were limited. He taught me some Japanese. Fun times.

He is undeniably good-looking. This is a key point, I believe.

At the end of the day, two friends of mine who are also single and don't really talk to him at all started telling me vague things like, "Guard your heart!" and "Some people look great on the outside, they look like they're passionate about God, but you can tell from their fruit that they're immature."

They were very vague about everything. I asked them what the crap they were talking about, and from what I could gather, it was little more than "He's a flirt." I was irritated. First off, they don't appear to actually know the guy, really, and second, this is all assuming that I'll instantly fall for any good-looking guy, regardless of whether we can even have a fluid conversation.

I've noticed that good-looking guys who talk to a lot of girls (and vice versa) get labeled as flirts a lot, regardless of their intentions.

Anyway, all this comes back around to my reason for making this thread: I was thinking that "Guard your heart!" is both a very dramatic and very vague admonition, so I looked it up. It's Proverbs 4:23: "Above all, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

And then I looked at the whole chapter, and it was all about being wise and not letting yourself fall into evil behavior, but keeping wisdom and instruction in your heart.

Nothing whatsoever to do with romance.

I think this is a verse Christian culture has hijacked and turned into this weird, "Hey, little single Christian girl. You're a harmless little lamb, and men are like wolves who want to eat you up. If they aren't just like your daddy, with all his wisdom and maturity that he has gathered from being years and years older than you, they aren't worth your time. Guard your heart!

"PS it's totally okay for you to gossip about cute Christian guys. For your sister's sake."

Ah, thank you! I'm glad somebody has clearly pointed this out! It's a very dangerous road indeed if one twists Scripture where it wasn't intended to go (even if well-intentioned, though need I apply that old adage?)

As for dating, etc... I just save myself the trouble & stay out of all that. Till I get a clear, definate Word from God on the matter I ain't touching it with a barge pole!

EDIT: And on a further note to what Yuki said in her corresponding post:

I'm going to submit that it's impossible to give your heart away, for several reasons:

1. Literally, you would die.

2. Figuratively, the implication of the statement is that you are giving someone something that cannot be restored. That's simply not true.

I'll also submit that, if you're indeed a Christian, your heart should already fully be given & belong to Jesus anyway! That's not to say that you don't give your full love & respect to a significant other -should you find such a person - but ultimately our hearts & selves belong solely to Jesus who in fact is the Enabler & Source for us to know & express true love with Him & others.
(Hopefully that makes some sense)

Postby **denimwriter** » Sat Apr 16, 2011 8:16 am

Yuki-Anne (post: 1471873) wrote:#1. What does "falling in love" entail, exactly? How about "give your heart away"? What does that even mean? Is there some concrete line between, "Interested in pursuing further romantic attachment" and "fallen in love, gave my heart away"?

#2. How exactly am I supposed to know who I'm "meant to be with"? What manner of sign should I wait to receive from God before I know?

#3. At what point, then, is it okay to "fall in love"? Do you have to wait until you've said "I do" to "fall in love"?

#4. What if I "gave my heart away" to someone and then discovered I wasn't "meant to be with" him? Did I sin? Am I somehow a lesser person because I didn't "guard my heart"? How was I supposed to know I wasn't "meant to be with" him, when I prayed and all the signs I got were "go for it!"

I'm going to submit that it's impossible to give your heart away, for several reasons:

1. Literally, you would die.

2. Figuratively, the implication of the statement is that you are giving someone something that cannot be restored. That's simply not true.

I can love someone and experience the pain of that relationship falling apart without having lost a piece of myself. Does heartbreak hurt? Yes. Yes it does. Very much. I "fell in love" with someone I wasn't "meant to be with" and "gave my heart" to that person. And you know what? He broke my heart. And you know what else? I wouldn't change that experience for anything, because I became a better person through it. I am whole. There isn't some small piece of my heart that he still has. I learned a lot about myself, a lot about men, and a lot about love, and loving a man I didn't end up married to doesn't make me somehow a lesser person.

The idea that it's somehow better to only fall in love with one person (the person you were "meant to be with"), and until you find that person, you need to keep your heart protected and locked away, is really naive, if you ask me. I cringe at the phrase "meant to be" because the fact is that sometimes you pray really hard and do everything in your power to make sure it's God's will, and you still end up getting knocked on your hinder. Are breakups a consequence of not listening to God? Or is it just that sometimes bad things happen to you no matter how devotedly you follow God?

I'm gonna go with option 2, because the simple fact is that the woman who dated only one man and ended up married to him is not by default more godly or wise than the woman who experienced a harsh breakup. To imply that a girl (or guy) who's experienced a breakup (especially from someone who for all appearances was who she was "meant to be with") should have waited to fall in love until she was sure is just kicking her while she's down. Because ultimately, people are people, and they aren't perfect, and sometimes they break your heart, "meant to be" or not.

Answers to your numbers:

1. I was in a relationship with someone when I was 18. I never had sex with him. we never kissed. but we did hold hands and such.... During the whole time we were together, something didn't seem right. A friend at church quoted something from a book she read, "A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that man has search God's heart for it." (from the book Captivating, by John & Stasi Eldredge) I prayed about it. God was literally telling me that it wasn't meant to be. From that point I just got deeper in my relationship with Christ and fell so much in love with Him that no one else mattered. Though I never gave my virginity up, There were still pieces of my heart I couldn't get back.

2. Trusting God. There is the person you are meant to be with. I have friends who waited for the exact person and friends who didn't. Another personal note, when I was 21, I met the man that I am meant to be with. There is something that happens that you just know. God said, "Here he is."

3. No you don't have to wait until you say I Do to fall in love. It's just less of a heartbreak to not even think about it until you're ready. (being ready is between you and God.)

4. No you didn't sin if you fell in love with someone who is not the right one God made for you. (Unless you already know God is telling you not to then, that is disobedience... and yes there is His grace and mercy and restoration if/when we mess up.) If God told you go for it, then that was Him telling you.

5. No, you literally would not die. I have several friends, guys and women who have not allowed themselves into relationships that they knew wasn't meant to be.

6. I did not mean to give the implication that you couldn't be restored. (because I know you can...) I apologize.

I didn't say anyone was lesser of a person. I am sorry if it sounded that way.

Maybe sometimes they are... but that is between them and God. And yes, sometimes bad things happen to those who follow God. Does that mean it's always punishment? No.

And I agree with your last statement......

I was saying what I said earlier as a "thou shalt do this..." I didn't mean to sound judgmental. I never meant to make anyone fell less of a person.

There a lot people reading and agreeing with different ideas on this entire forum. Some agree with this and others agree with that. And then there are the few who take a little from everything and mix it together...

Postby **Xeno** » Sat Apr 16, 2011 8:33 am

This thread is great. Rarely do I find a thread where I enjoy every post made, but this is definitely one of them.

Now, on to the subject at hand: I'm sometimes seen as flirty I think. I don't recall ever being told I am, but I get that look from people. I've always had more friends with two X chromosomes than XY. I didn't grow up with a lot of girls, I've just always found it easier to talk to and be friends with females (probably because I find sports boring and thus lose that common link with most other guys).

I've had a few girlfriends in my relatively short life, and I'm glad for it. I don't think any of them have a "piece of my heart" nor that I cheated on any future spouse I might have. That concept makes no sense - how can someone have a piece of my heart if I took took my affection for them in that way back?

This thread also got me interested in reading various views on the whole dating vs courting thing, and I have to say I'm glad I wasn't raised on the "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" concept. From what I've seen, that has only damaged the people who have grown up under it and they are unable to have very fulfilling relationships. One of the girlfriends I've had was actually raised in that concept. I can't tell you how difficult it was at times because we always had to be mindful of what OTHER people thought. And really, at the end of the day, what other people think about me is rather irrelevant.

Now I don't take that as an excuse to do whatever I please, one still needs to lead a Godly and wholesome lifestyle, but I really don't care if someone think I'm being sinful because I didn't have a woman's (and I say woman because I wouldn't date someone under 18) parents tag along on my dates and hawk-eye me the whole time.

As for "guard your heart," the way I've always seen that is not necessarily from a Biblical standpoint, but more from a cautionary "don't get involved with someone too fast" standpoint. It's not a good idea to "rush" into any kind of relationship, baring everything about yourself immediately. That can allow for someone who doesn't intend on honouring you to get in and hurt you. But by the same token, that doesn't mean never open up to anyone, and never allowing yourself to love a person; you just need to make sure the person you're letting inside is worthy of it. But that's a decision you have to make for yourself, no one can tell you if a person is right for you or not.

Anyway, hope that all made sense. If not, well you kids are smart, I'm sure you'll figure out what I was getting at.

Postby **ShiroiHikari** » Sat Apr 16, 2011 10:08 am

denimwriter (post: 1471926) wrote:Answers to your numbers:

1. I was in a relationship with someone when I was 18. I never had sex with him. we never kissed. but we did hold hands and such.... During the whole time we were together, something didn't seem right. A friend at church quoted something from a book she read, "A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that man has search God's heart for it." (from the book Captivating, by John & Stasi Eldredge) I prayed about it. God was literally telling me that it wasn't meant to be. From that point I just got deeper in my relationship with Christ and fell so much in love with Him that no one else mattered. Though I never gave my virginity up, There were still pieces of my heart I couldn't get back.

What do you mean, there were pieces you couldn't get back? If God is with you and Christ is in your heart, then shouldn't He be able to put the pieces back for you?

2. Trusting God. There is the person you are meant to be with. I have friends who waited for the exact person and friends who didn't. Another personal note, when I was 21, I met the man that I am meant to be with. There is something that happens that you just know. God said, "Here he is."

This may not be exactly what you were saying, but I think it's dangerous to believe that there is "someone for everyone". Sometimes there just...isn't. Or sometimes people feel that they are called to celibacy.

3. No you don't have to wait until you say I Do to fall in love. It's just less of a heartbreak to not even think about it until you're ready. (being ready is between you and God.)

Contrary to what some people might say, heartbreak is not the worst thing that can happen to you. It sucks big time, but then you move on and learn from the experience. It's part of life, and part of growing up. God didn't promise to protect us from pain and heartbreak.

4. No you didn't sin if you fell in love with someone who is not the right one God made for you. (Unless you already know God is telling you not to then, that is disobedience... and yes there is His grace and mercy and restoration if/when we mess up.) If God told you go for it, then that was Him telling you.

I'm pretty certain God wanted me to marry the man I married (we both prayed about it quite a bit) and I'm not going to lie, there are days when I wish I'd never married him. Just because it's God's will doesn't mean it's going to be easy.

Xeno, your post made perfect sense to me, and I agree with you on the "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" thing.

Postby **shooraijin** » Sat Apr 16, 2011 10:09 am

I get labeled as a flirt a lot.

I'm just saying.

.....so do I >_>

Regrettably, I was being totally facetious, for the record (those who know me in real life can attest).

I think the answer to the "love" question will differ dramatically for feeling versus thinking types. For thinkers, love is often a decision (in my dating relationships, it certainly has been for me). For feelers, it's an evolved state. I don't think the question can be universally answered.

Postby **Atria35** » Sat Apr 16, 2011 10:10 am

denimwriter (post: 1471926) wrote:1. I was in a relationship with someone when I was 18. I never had sex with him. we never kissed. but we did hold hands and such.... During the whole time we were together, something didn't seem right. A friend at church quoted something from a book she read, "A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that man has search God's heart for it." (from the book Captivating, by John & Stasi Eldredge) I prayed about it. God was literally telling me that it wasn't meant to be. From that point I just got deeper in my relationship with Christ and fell so much in love with Him that no one else mattered. Though I never gave my virginity up, There were still pieces of my heart I couldn't get back.

I just don't think this is possible. No person only has X-amount of love to give. Yes, your heart may hurt for a long time after, but you always have more love. Love is infinite and cannot be measured.

I know where you're coming from, I was in a similar situation when I was 16, and I still hurt from it. But I have more love. If I were to fall deeply in love again, and my heart were broken, I would still have the ability to fall in love again, just as deeply.

Postby **Yamamaya** » Sat Apr 16, 2011 12:11 pm

Atria35 (post: 1471951) wrote:I just don't think this is possible. No person only has X-amount of love to give. Yes, your heart may hurt for a long time after, but you always have more love. Love is infinite and cannot be measured.

I know where you're coming from, I was in a similar situation when I was 16, and I still hurt from it. But I have more love. If I were to fall deeply in love again, and my heart were broken, I would still have the ability to fall in love again, just as deeply.

Indeed. However, that doesn't mean we shouldn't be careful about what relationships we end up in. If you get into a shaky relationship that you have a feeling is going to end in heartache, it's probably best not to get into the relationship.

Otherwise I agree with you 100%

Postby **Atria35** » Sat Apr 16, 2011 1:13 pm

Yamamaya (post: 1472011) wrote:Indeed. However, that doesn't mean we shouldn't be careful about what relationships we end up in. If you get into a shaky relationship that you have a feeling is going to end in heartache, it's probably best not to get into the relationship.

Yeah, of course. This should go without mention, I would hope! xDD

Postby **Riggidig** » Sat Apr 16, 2011 1:31 pm

I once did a Family Foundations course for a weekend. In it they basically said you should "guard your heart" and not get involved (physically, emotionally, spiritually) with someone if you're not planning on marrying them. They said you basically become "glued", connected to that person, and when you break up with them it's the equivalent of when you have glued two pieces of paper together and then try to pull them apart: Pieces of each paper will still be stuck to the other, meaning that, if you DO meet the right person someday, your heart will have been shredded numerous times (if you did this constantly) and you won't have a "whole" heart to give to them.

Postby **ShiroiHikari** » Sat Apr 16, 2011 1:36 pm

But...

Ah, forget it.

"Guard your heart!"

Who is online

Loading