Strength in Calamity

[Yuki-Anne]

Guys, I want to ask you for prayer for me personally. It feels a little selfish with all the other things to pray for.

Sometimes it feels like I'm barely hanging on to sanity in all this mess. It's been one week since the earthquake. It feels like it's been a year, and it also feels like just yesterday my life was completely normal.

I feel like I don't have a right to grieve so much when I didn't lose anybody personally. I feel like it's my job to be strong for Japan. But I know that my feelings are natural, and I'm trying to allow them to run their natural, healthy course.

In the next few days, if I do what I really want to, I may be able to go to the worst hit areas to help with relief efforts. Right now it's all up in the air, and I'm praying so much about the next step to take, but this is what I really want to do. I'm in a position to go, and I can't just sit here anymore. Please pray for God's guidance and wisdom.

As the situation with the Fukushima plant 65 miles from here worsens, even the scientific minds who were optimistic and reassuring from the start are starting to sound discouraged. I am outside the evacuation radius set by the US Embassy. But a few hours could change everything, and the worst part is the uncertainty, and the discouraging trend that everything keeps getting consistently worse than the government says it will get. I am doing my best to hold on to sanity and remain calm, to keep myself accessing good information. But the doomsday news stories are taking their toll on me, even if I know they are inaccurate. I have to look at English news because my Japanese is insufficient, and the more the stress compiles, the harder it becomes for me to use Japanese. But a lot of English news is using very dramatic language to get people's attention, and that dramatic wording increases my anxiety.

But there are some blessings coming through this in the form of people from all over the world who are friending me on facebook and sending me notes of encouragement. A couple of South African women joined the fb group for CRASH Japan, and of all the 1,000+ people on that group, they grabbed me out of the crowd, friended me, and have been sending me encouragement. It is really amazing. And all of the friends and loved ones I had prior to this have been lifting me up in prayer and encouraging me, and that has been really amazing.

But I just want to ask you guys to specifically pray for peace and guidance for me, that God would put me where I can glorify Him best, and that He would help me continue to heal, and that He would help the Japanese to heal and to find His love in this horrible calamity. I can't imagine the depth of suffering for those who have lost someone, those who are in shelters, and those who have lost everything. That's not going to heal for a long time; please pray for strength for all of us to help each other heal from this.

Our God is a God who saves.

[TWWK]

I'll keep you in prayer, specifically about what you've asked. Your updates keep encouraging me to grow in my faith, so you're touching people on this side of the ocean as well.

[Atria35]

Definitely parying for you. I don't blame you for getting so upset- I mean, people on the West Coast went crazy and bought iodine just in case.... I dunno.

Regardless, definitely praying for you and your safety.

[Kaori]

Even though you didn’t lose anyone you personally know, you still have a right to mourn. That is totally OK.

I have to look at English news because my Japanese is insufficient, and the more the stress compiles, the harder it becomes for me to use Japanese. But a lot of English news is using very dramatic language to get people's attention, and that dramatic wording increases my anxiety.

Have you tried NHK World? It’]Asahi Shimbun[/url], and the Japan Times, which is English to begin with (but written in Japan). Each of those websites is in English, but because they are Japanese, they don't engage in the same fear-mongering as so many Western news sources do.

[Yuki-Anne]

Yeah, I've been following NHK World.

[TopazRaven]

Stay strong Yuki, I'll be praying for you! You are definitly not selfish and you do have the right to mourn. I hope things get better for you and everyone over in Japan soon.

[ClosetOtaku]

Will pray. Thank you for keeping us informed of the goings-on from inside Japan.

[Yuki-Anne]

Okay, it's looking like I'm going to relocate to Tokyo today. Be in prayer that I don't get lost and that the work I do in Tokyo will save lives and spread God's word. Also, if I am sent to a disaster zone (which I will be volunteering for and really want to do; it's up to them to decide if they send me or keep me in Tokyo), pray for safety, strength, and the ability to bring comfort to the hurting.

[Sheenar]

Praying, friend!