I think I have anger problems...

[TopazRaven]

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Yet another problem to add to my list of things wrong with me. Sorry if I'm annoying you all. I make threads like this to much I know. However, I've come to the conclusion I think I have what's beginning to become a very troublesome anger problem. I get really ticked off at the stupidest stuff. For example: my dog barking at the neighbor's dogs non-stop and not coming when I call so that I have to literally run out there and make him come inside, my cat almost tripping me down the stairs, my computer freezing up (it's getting old I guess), when I hurt myself by running into something or tripping (I'm so clumsy so this happens a lot), people in general and I just get really snappy at people sometimes even if they are asking a simple question. Especially my poor mother. So right there I'm disrespecting one of my parents! Now, I never hurt anyone, I don't think I'm violent in that way, but I will admit sometimes if I'm angry at a person I feel like I want to punch them in the face (only if we're having a really heated argument though). When I get mad though I tend to yell and curse and I think I can sound pretty hateful and I don't want to be that way. I've been making prayers to God to help me with this problem, but I don't seem to be any more patient then I was before. Though I realize sitting in my house and waiting for God to fix all my problems isn't going to work just like that. We have to do things for ourselves sometimes right? I guess this is another thing I'll have to talk about in therapy when I go, but that isn't going to be until in least after the holidays. Does anyone have any advice for helping me calm myself down in any way so I don't get so angry? A Christian is supposed to be loving and kind and understanding. I don't think I'm any of these things yet. I can be so mean sometimes even when I'm not angry.


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[K. Ayato]

I used to get very angry at almost anything myself. I'm quite stubborn, so a lot of it stemmed from not being happy things were "going my way" and feeling I had lost control over everything.

One thing you could do is the next time you feel your temper rise, take a moment and ask yourself why, and whether or not it's worth acting on. Like with the neighbor's dog. Sure it's aggravating the more you decide to keep focusing on it, but if you occupy your thoughts and focusing on something else, eventually you might not even care about it anymore.

Praying, hon!

[Atria35]

What K. said. It also sounds like it's a whole lot of little things that are wearing on your nerves and making you snap. There are some things that you can do to help some of them- for instance, have you considered obedience classes for your dog? Or even checking out a few obedience books from the library to try and teach your dog not to bark all the time and come when called?

But it's okay- Christians aren't perfect people! Reach for that standard you've set, but don't beat yourself up if you do end up getting angry.

My mom and I have a similar problem with anger, and we try to work on it together. Unfortunately, as my brother says, we're so similar to eachother that the faults that we see in eachother tick us off. Not living together made this problem better by about a billion (it's hard to get angry if you aren't around eachother long enough to see the faults!). Obviously this isn't an option for you right now, but just know that there is hope.

[TopazRaven]

I used to get very angry at almost anything myself. I'm quite stubborn, so a lot of it stemmed from not being happy things were "going my way" and feeling I had lost control over everything.

One thing you could do is the next time you feel your temper rise, take a moment and ask yourself why, and whether or not it's worth acting on. Like with the neighbor's dog. Sure it's aggravating the more you decide to keep focusing on it, but if you occupy your thoughts and focusing on something else, eventually you might not even care about it anymore.

Praying, hon!

Thank you! I have the issue of being very stubborn myself and I definitely am a very sore loser. I despise being wrong. Lol. I will try what you suggested though. My dog is a beagle and he just has this loud howly bark, it drives me nuts! Then the neighbor has three tiny little dogs that do nothing, but ya-yap-yap all day. I know one is a Yorkshire terrier and the other is a Maltese I think. No idea what the third one is. They make my mom mad to though. I get my anger gene from her.

What K. said. It also sounds like it's a whole lot of little things that are wearing on your nerves and making you snap. There are some things that you can do to help some of them- for instance, have you considered obedience classes for your dog? Or even checking out a few obedience books from the library to try and teach your dog not to bark all the time and come when called?

But it's okay- Christians aren't perfect people! Reach for that standard you've set, but don't beat yourself up if you do end up getting angry.

My mom and I have a similar problem with anger, and we try to work on it together. Unfortunately, as my brother says, we're so similar to eachother that the faults that we see in eachother tick us off. Not living together made this problem better by about a billion (it's hard to get angry if you aren't around eachother long enough to see the faults!). Obviously this isn't an option for you right now, but just know that there is hope.

My dog is 8 years old though, can he still learn now that he has such a bad habit? It's my fault to begin with. He was given to me as a puppy as a birthday present when I turned 13 by my mother, but we never took him to puppy classes or had him properly trained.

I love my mom to death. She's one of my best friends, one of the people I know I could trust no matter what. Yet, we always end up arguing or yelling at each other still at one point or another. I think she has an anger problem to. She has some pretty bad road rage and gets angry if the house isn't clean enough. Granted...I'll admit I am pretty lazy.

[Atria35]

My dog is 8 years old though, can he still learn now that he has such a bad habit? It's my fault to begin with. He was given to me as a puppy as a birthday present when I turned 13 by my mother, but we never took him to puppy classes or had him properly trained.

I love my mom to death. She's one of my best friends, one of the people I know I could trust no matter what. Yet, we always end up arguing or yelling at each other still at one point or another. I think she has an anger problem to. She has some pretty bad road rage and gets angry if the house isn't clean enough. Granted...I'll admit I am pretty lazy.

To the first- yes. A dog is never too old to learn. It takes more work to break them of their habits, but it can be done.

And I understand what you mean about your mom. I love my mom, too. We just can't stand eathother

[fermy6]

Yes, Christians should be loving and kind, but we do stumble...llike me....despite my efforts to be loving and kind I can at times be...excuse the language...an [email]assh@+!....haha[/email] hope that makes u feel better

[Dante]

I'd get fairly annoyed with my dog if they were barking non-stopped too. Anger problem, maybe, but it might it might just be normal. Compare running outside and yelling at them to come in with a neighbor of mine who claimed that when their neighbor's dogs barked too much (not his own mind you), that they would take a shovel and hit them over the fence. I heard this through my parents, otherwise I would have smiled to inform him that if I found out that he did this to my dog (proving that he wasn't simply joking), I would thoroughly return the deed to him.

And who here hasn't wanted to throw their computer out the window at some point for freezing? Mine has 4 processors, and every program freezes because some internal program has a hiccup at start up. If Windows had two brain cells, they would realize that should one of them freeze up with Microsoft's opening commands, the other could kindly open up Firefox instead of sticking them all on the same thread/processor. Don't tell me it's impossible, because my brain is a multiprocessor unit, should one brain cell decide to freeze or even die, the whole brain doesn't freeze up for ten minutes thinking about it.

And yes. I get snappy at my mother too when she asks too many questions. I fixed up my old computer and got her on Unbuntu (so she can't break it with viruses easily) and the internet. Now she calls me out every ten minutes at night over stupid stuff she finds (Bunnies, obviously scam Craig's List posts (and she knows it), and random pictures or e-mails she gets from friends). She wouldn't have appreciated it if I interrupted her downstairs every ten minutes because of things "I" find on the internet, but apparently she thinks that "cute bunny pictures" are worthy of interrupting me and woke me out of a dead sleep the other day incredibly early in the morning claiming I typed my e-mail address wrong (So her life was in terrible agony because she couldn't wait a few hours to send me e-mails while I slept). Dragging me out of bed, it was apparent that it she had typed it in completely wrong based on a guess and I became equally aware of just how early in the morning she woke me up. It took me an hour to get back to sleep, so that later on when she sent my father to pester me to come down and clean up around the house, I wanted to slam my leg up her rear-end and tell her to go to you know where.

But that's fine as far as I see it. If I set my anger standard any lower, my parents would be stepping all over me... wait. My parents already step all over me. And because I don't outwardly project it as intimidation, quite a few people still treat me with disrespect. Anger is a natural reaction, especially in a modern arrogant world in which quite a few people believe their lives are more valuable then everyone else's, with only a few "equals". As far as what I've read from you, it seems pretty natural, you're just feeling extra kind because it's morning... wait till evening, then you'll remember just how many things go out of their way to invoke this emotion.

[Sheenar]

I'm currently taking an Anger Management class through the church I attend. I know the struggle with controlling anger all too well.

We are using The Anger Workbook in class. I have found it to be extremely helpful in identifying the root cause of my anger.

Anger is an emotion of self-preservation. Either an ideal is being threatened, a need isn't being met, or other factors are present. This book (along with the Anger Management course) have helped me learn how to deal with my anger, with situations that bring up anger and dealing with other angry people.

Remember that anger in of itself is not a sin. God gave us these emotions --he created them and they have a purpose. It's what you do with your anger and how you manage it that is the key. Step back and think for a minute about why you're getting angry --and if it really is worth it/important enough to get angry about.

Good luck! God is with you and will help you through this process. It's tough, but totally worth it.

[Kunoichi]

Sheenar I like that book

OT:

Anger in and of itself is not a "wrong" emotion. It is simply an emotion. We can't call anger itself a sin when God expresses he feels anger in the Bible. It's what you do with it that determines if you commit sin or not.

Actions not feelings are what you want to pay attention to IMO. Christians will have a heart that is loving and kind and joyful, yes. At the same time, it is OK to be angry at things that are a violation (such as someone hurting you, or hurting others etc) in fact, anger can often stir someone to action to help a cause.

I may not be relaying what I'm trying to say very well, so if this makes any sense then I did something right lol

[ShiroiHikari]

Read this:

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/05/sneaky-hate-spiral.html

It ain't just you.

[armeck]

some people say i have anger problems... [color="Red"]BUT I DON'T!!![/color] lol that was from a fred video and i thought it was funny.
anyway, you could try listening to soft music. taking a deep breath now and then, just try to relax. let things flow. idk really what to say i have anger problems too, and music helps, and alone time helps

[TopazRaven]

I feel so relieved now. Thanks everyone, you've been a great help! Its just that I get angry way to often, like every day...so yeah, I tend to worry that I have a problem. xD

[That Dude]

Definately do what K said, and when you are angry take a step back and see why. As others have said, anger isn't wrong, but you can be angry for the wrong reasons. Basically, ask yourself, is this selfish anger I'm feeling?

Another thing that helps is to take a step back and take a realistic view of yourself, all your faults and ways you lie to yourself, and once you've done that, adopt an attitude of gratefulness. God loves it when we give him thanks, and when you become a more thankful person, you have less to get angry about.

And just so I don't make it out like I'm preaching against you, I have to constantly remind myself of this, and half the time I fail to put it to practice, but it sure helps when I let go of my idiocy and thank God for all that he's done and provided for me.