Foreigner

[Yuki-Anne]

So here's the deal: I've been a missionary in Japan for the past two months, and I've got another 18 months to go. I love it, but... it's really hard. I can barely speak Japanese. I've been studying for more than a year, and I'm past the "survival Japanese" stage, but I still barely understand the conversations that go on around me, and I don't know what to say to people beyond the regular exchange of pleasantries. Like, if people ask me where I'm from and why I'm here and that sort of thing, I can answer, but I have no idea how to go about initiating conversations. I don't know what I should talk about, and I'm not sure I would know the words to say even if I did know what to talk about.

I feel so lonely. I have no friends my age. I love teaching; I love my students, I love the church staff that I work with, but I don't really have anybody to just relax with. I have a group of friends who graduated from my college who are also missionaries here in Japan, but they live in a different part of the country. Whenever I see what they're doing on Facebook, I feel really happy for them, but at the same time I'm envious because they're all here as a team. They've got one another. But I've just got me and God. I meet other foreigners sometimes, but it's a shot in the dark whether they even speak English or not, much less whether they're creepy perverts (met a couple of those), or whether they're the sort of people I get along well with.

I hate to sound like I'm complaining about being a missionary. I mean, I do love what I'm doing and don't regret it for a second, and I do have a few Japanese friends, but I just really want some people to hang out and have fun with. And I just want to be able to speak this language. It's so frustrating that I can't be fluent RIGHT NOW.

[Lynna]

*Hugs* that sounds really hard. I'll be praying for you!!

[Beau Soir]

That does sound really hard... I was only there recently for 2 weeks, but I got tired of being a foreigner very fast, so I can understand at least some of what you're coming from.

I know it's not the same as in-person, but we're here for you if you want to talk. I'm glad you are coming on CAA! It's a beautiful thing to teach others about Christ, too.

I'll be praying for you!


Also, if you'd like to learn more Japanese, my good IRL friend Stella (also Stella here on CAA) is a freelancer at teaching Japanese. She lived in Japan for many years... She also teaches English to those in Japan by Skype. If you're interested in learning more, I know for sure that she'd be more than happy to help teach you!

[Hiryu]

Over the years, I have found that humor has always been the best way to make friends. Everyone loves to laugh. I hope you make new friends fast. May God bless you.

[Yuki-Anne]

Also, please pray about my temper. Because it's so frustrating not to understand what's going on, sometimes I feel angry when the church staff ask me to do something, but have trouble communicating or neglect to communicate exactly what they need me to do. I don't lose my temper at them or anything, but I sometimes get frightfully frustrated inside, over little nothings, and then once I get away from the situation I'm okay but I feel really bad that I got so angry, even though my anger didn't lead to any action besides being very quiet. It's very stressful. Please pray that God will give me patience.

[Atria35]

Definitely praying.

[Kaori]

When starting a conversation, Japanese people will often make small talk about the weather (more so than Americans). However, I realize that doesn’t really get you very far unless the other person comes up with a topic of conversation.

How far away do your friends from college live? I can tell you about some of the cheaper ways to travel around Japan if you’re unaware of them (especially if your friends also live in Honshu).

祈っている。

[Yuki-Anne]

My friends do live in Honshu. They live near Nagoya; I live near Utsunomiya.

The problem is not transportation costs quite so much as finding the time to go down there. But it's also kind of transportation costs.

[Kunoichi]

Praying Yuki. I think God can understand how hard it is and while you may not be fluent right away, I think too well at least I see it, you are recognizing things about yourself that are growing you in Christ. Like you are saying how you need prayer for a temper and you are reaching out for help! Hang in their sis.

[Tsukuyomi]

I'll be praying as well

Hang in there and don't be ashamed to use on of those translation books ^__^

[Kaori]

[quote="Yuki-Anne (post: 1424646)"]My friends do live in Honshu. They live near Nagoya]
Oh. That’s really not too far at all. I understand your difficulty about finding time to travel, but if you happen to get a holiday sometime, there are a few different options available for cheap travel.

Highway buses would probably be a good option to look into. I’m not sure how much it would cost to go from Utsunomiya to Nagoya, but it’s possible to go from Tokyo to Kyoto (a somewhat comparable distance) by overnight bus for about 4,000 or 5,000 yen, less than half the cost of a shinkansen ticket. Overnight buses are a bit fatiguing as a way of travel (because it’s hard to really sleep well on one), but the advantage, of course, is that you don’t waste the daytime traveling.

One cheap way of travel I have not tried is Seishun 18 Kippu, which gives you unlimited travel on all local and express JR trains for five days. However, it can only be purchased and used during certain seasons—the next one would be in December and January. It’s much cheaper than taking the shinkansen but also much slower.

Finally, this probably won’t be too helpful for you immediately (more like something to bookmark for future reference), but there is a discount airline for domestic flights within Japan, [url=/www.skymark.co.jp/en/]Skymark[/url]. There aren’t any airports near you that are serviced by this airline (looks like the closest is Ibakari?), but their fares are really pretty cheap, especially if you reserve far in advance. If you ever have the time and money to travel a bit farther in Japan, try looking into their Maewari and Sky Bargain fares.

I hope some of that is helpful.

[Yuki-Anne]

Hmm... that's all very helpful information. Thanks, Kaori!

Guys, I just want to say, CAA has really helped me out, and I want to thank you all for being here. Even though I don't really know most of you well at all, it's still been great to have people to talk to.

[Yuki-Anne]

The past 24 hours have been really, REALLY hard. I've caught a cold, and I'm feeling miserably lonely. It was all I could do not to collapse in a sobbing mess right in the middle of the sidewalk during my run this morning. Every time it seems like I'm going to find a way to make new friends, like attending a group Japanese lesson or a gospel music service at another church, some kind of roadblock gets thrown in my way and it becomes impossible for me to go.

I really feel like I'm reaching the limit of what I can handle, and I just need something to go right today.

I haven't even had a hug in over a month.

[mechana2015]

Hey see if you can get in the chat here and talk to some people... there isn't any physical contact but it's some peopel to talk to that'll listen usually.

[TWWK]

The past 24 hours have been really, REALLY hard. I've caught a cold, and I'm feeling miserably lonely. It was all I could do not to collapse in a sobbing mess right in the middle of the sidewalk during my run this morning. Every time it seems like I'm going to find a way to make new friends, like attending a group Japanese lesson or a gospel music service at another church, some kind of roadblock gets thrown in my way and it becomes impossible for me to go.

I really feel like I'm reaching the limit of what I can handle, and I just need something to go right today.

I haven't even had a hug in over a month.

I'm praying for you! Stay strong!

Do you remember the story about Daniel and the angel? Daniel's prayers aren't answered, so he fasts and prays for three weeks. Finally, an angel arrives after having been detained. There are forces at work and battles going on in spiritual realms. The fact that you're having troubles and roadblocks tells me that Satan is scared...he sees you and the work you're doing and he is trying very hard to discourage you.

Be strong and courageous, right?! Just like Joshua! Even if your trials last the next 18 months, it's because knows you can handle it and He is developing your character. It's much easier said than done (I know...I'm going through trials myself right now), but rejoice in these difficulties, for God is making you stronger.

[Fangirl4God]

It would be awesome to go on a missionary trip to Japan, but their language is not easy to learn and it must be difficult not having friends there either. Maybe you could take online classes? Either way, I will pray for you. Good luck, and may God be with you!

[Aedin]

I'll pray. I know how some of that can be.

[Hiryu]

Awww, Yuki... you poor thing.

Please don't become so discouraged. You'll get to go sooner or later. Try not to feel too lonely, because Jesus is right there with you. And so are we.

[Yuki-Anne]

Thanks for praying, you guys.

I went to town yesterday and made a new friend: a 24-year-old girl from Singapore who speaks fluent English and understands how hard it is to be a foreigner in Japan. She's been here about the same amount of time I have. Please pray that we are able to hang out more, and that I can be a good witness to her.

[rocklobster]

Yuki here's something for you to put into perspective. St. Therese of Liseux was once riding down a bumpy road and of course hit a bump and got knocked off. When she recovered she said to God "The way you treat your friends, it's no wonder you have so few of them."

[Fangirl4God]

Thanks for praying, you guys.

I went to town yesterday and made a new friend: a 24-year-old girl from Singapore who speaks fluent English and understands how hard it is to be a foreigner in Japan. She's been here about the same amount of time I have. Please pray that we are able to hang out more, and that I can be a good witness to her.

That is really great! Hope you make some progress!