Cacophony Of The Soul: Select Writings Of Zarn Ishtare

[Zarn Ishtare]

Ah, let me explain abit...


Sanctus Padre is about someone who is supposed to be a "good" Christian (In this case, represented by a Preacher/Priest/Rabbi), who dwell on their sins, past and present. It is the suffering of a man who feels his heart is consumed with hypocrisy.


Darken The Wine: It's something of a reference to old morality stories: The man committed a terrible deed, and became like the voice that told him to do it; an empty tempter, an incomplete being, so utterly had he committed evil. Mixing his blood with the contents of the cup, then to drink it...that was his dark deed, and it transforms him to another lustful, evil voice to influence the next passerby.

Can't Win The Argument is about CAA, and the debate going on right now in General Forum. I tried to speak to them, but to no avail.


Tremble and Trill: I was so angry one day I wanted to commit violence to someone else. Instead, I calmed myself by composing my anger into a poem. Then I got sucked into the poem, and I referred to unknown things within myself, the contents of the soul being the long dead trees...That was more for poetic effect, but I wanted to say something was within me.

[Zarn Ishtare]

"Bird Of Pray"
(Childhood living in a Grown Man's Heart)


There is a fluttering in my chest

a beating against my breast

A bird blinks its eyes against my ribcage.


What a fragile thing with wings! So confused,

wanting only the glory of the sky

the freedom to fly free

I see it in his face when I look in the mirror.


Innocence, so sweet, so gentle

a child lulled to sleep

a girl playing in the park

first love. True love.
True love

is a dove

shuddering in my hands,

grasped with cold stroking fingers.

They become hot choking fingers

my innocence, my childhood, my life

tre bien, enfante Innocente'!



Now I speak from cold intent. My childhood

is a bird

beating against my breast. Fluttering against my chest.

It's up to you
to figure out the rest.

[Zarn Ishtare]

Just trust me

this verse won't end in rust

in peace

give me peace



let it all unfold from the tops of your fingers to the cusp of your hands
till it all rolls out like a wave on the ocean

every finger flowing

every palm extended rowing

the motions of the touch of your hands.


Take it back

I just want to take it back

as the sirens scream their holy song, as the Valkries in my body whisper along

the back plate is filled with symposiums

I've found a cracked plate in the middle of the yard

in the middle of my mind

there is an art and a reason and a symbol to each time

and every line is a begging release just to kiss you

I MISS YOU

is that too much to ask?

beg and beg and beg

but will I ever get it back?

I just want to get it back.


all that is right flows down from the mountain

I drank the waters of your hands, a fountain

I could taste the glitter and the sweat of your hands

light, be my guide, and make me understand


I want only the experice

the love

the light

the ending solo night

Don't fright

Fight

[Peanut]

I've been meaning to post in here for awhile...and just haven't...I blame papers...anyway I loved the imagery and in "Bird of Pray" (also I loved the pun in the title...). Your most recent piece was also very good, although I think you could have split "as the sirens scream their holy song, as the Valkries in my body whisper along" into two lines...

[Photosoph]

Ah, let me explain abit...


Sanctus Padre is about someone who is supposed to be a "good" Christian (In this case, represented by a Preacher/Priest/Rabbi), who dwell on their sins, past and present. It is the suffering of a man who feels his heart is consumed with hypocrisy.


Darken The Wine: It's something of a reference to old morality stories: The man committed a terrible deed, and became like the voice that told him to do it; an empty tempter, an incomplete being, so utterly had he committed evil. Mixing his blood with the contents of the cup, then to drink it...that was his dark deed, and it transforms him to another lustful, evil voice to influence the next passerby.

Can't Win The Argument is about CAA, and the debate going on right now in General Forum. I tried to speak to them, but to no avail.


Tremble and Trill: I was so angry one day I wanted to commit violence to someone else. Instead, I calmed myself by composing my anger into a poem. Then I got sucked into the poem, and I referred to unknown things within myself, the contents of the soul being the long dead trees...That was more for poetic effect, but I wanted to say something was within me.

Ah, I see. Thank you for the explanations.
*Sigh*. v_v Yeah. Well, I'm not on CAA enough to know what debat is/was currently happening, but yeah; so easy for issues to get heated. I wish people were more willing to let the issue go and not always try to have the last word. I'm not perfect in this area, but neither do I like arguments.

Anyway! ^_^

"Bird Of Pray"
(Childhood living in a Grown Man's Heart)


There is a fluttering in my chest

a beating against my breast

A bird blinks its eyes against my ribcage.


What a fragile thing with wings! So confused,

wanting only the glory of the sky

the freedom to fly free

I see it in his face when I look in the mirror.


Innocence, so sweet, so gentle

a child lulled to sleep

a girl playing in the park

first love. True love.
True love

is a dove

shuddering in my hands,

grasped with cold stroking fingers.

They become hot choking fingers

my innocence, my childhood, my life

tre bien, enfante Innocente'!



Now I speak from cold intent. My childhood

is a bird

beating against my breast. Fluttering against my chest.

It's up to you
to figure out the rest.

Wow. You know, that whole feeling that the bird in the chest gives... I don't know exactly what, but I feel as though that imagery is something I've been trying to find with my own writings; trying to express. Maybe for a slightly different theme, but it's the whole wide-eyed, confused feeling trying to escape or make sense of something.

Beautiful poem, and you know, at the end, it really brings through that other tone so well -that darker, more bitter or... mature, but in a cold way... that sort of voice. 'Cold intent'; the description really helped to give the rest of the verse such an excellent, fitting voice to it.
If that makes sense. I'm kinda tired today, so forgive me if I ramble and can't always put what I'm thinking into straight, logical sentences.
If I may, could I correct the French though? XP

'Tres bien, enfant Innocente'. Although I'm sure the 'tres bien' has an accent over the e: the one that goes in \ direction (I believe it's called a 'grave' accent or something, but I can't remember exactly XP).

Just trust me

this verse won't end in rust

in peace

give me peace



let it all unfold from the tops of your fingers to the cusp of your hands
till it all rolls out like a wave on the ocean

every finger flowing

every palm extended rowing

the motions of the touch of your hands.


Take it back

I just want to take it back

as the sirens scream their holy song, as the Valkries in my body whisper along

the back plate is filled with symposiums

I've found a cracked plate in the middle of the yard

in the middle of my mind

there is an art and a reason and a symbol to each time

and every line is a begging release just to kiss you

I MISS YOU

is that too much to ask?

beg and beg and beg

but will I ever get it back?

I just want to get it back.


all that is right flows down from the mountain

I drank the waters of your hands, a fountain

I could taste the glitter and the sweat of your hands

light, be my guide, and make me understand


I want only the experice

the love

the light

the ending solo night

Don't fright

Fight

I will admit I can't pinpoint exactly what situation the writer is going through; but I can sense (or think I sense) whirling thoughts, that sort of desperation that makes you search through thoughts and ideas and memories in your mind, trying to find something that eludes you; perhaps eluding you because what you're (I'm using 'you're' as a general 'we all are' here) looking to find is tied too much into the emotion which raises all the questions.

So while I can't pinpoint the exact overall idea (a man crying out over his lost love? Someone lost, searching for something, searching for God?) I can still understand the themes and feel the tones and passions within the verses.
But the fact I do not fully understand it prompts me to recall those nights where all the questions appeared in my mind and there was no answer, though in the end the matter was resolved, or at least put to rest.

Sorry that I don't have more to write about this poem; there's really so much that I could comment on that there's too much -so many ideas and lines here that have such 'importance' (not the word I'm looking for... but sort of like they really speak to you and bring a lot of meaning and images etc with them) that I'd be picking out almost every line. And my head's not in the place to do that right now. XD

It's excellent to be back reading your poetry again Zarn, and I'm pleased to see that you're continuing with it -and continuing to give to us such beautiful pieces to read.

However one last thing on your last poem: I absolutely loved the flowing, smooth movement feel given by such lines as in the second stanza and the second to last. :3 X3

[Zarn Ishtare]

I carried a corpse wagon through the streets and I see so many old followers of the Christ


I cannot bear to bear their bodies; so many bright hopes, so many lovers and sons and mothers



Why am I writing this poem backwards; side to side and misery makes me write this way

I don't know why




why do so many followers of the Christ
Die


Anger is at every corner and so is despair so is fear
it is the fear that keeps me here


and I wanted to say something right I wanted to say something special but al l I could cry is ":WHY GOD WHY!!"



no explanation is forthcoming no one resigns no fate is altered and still the body of my friend lay in the streets







A body broken by the ocean-the Iron

burning in the city heat.

[Peanut]

Your most recent work is rather interesting Zarn...I'm honestly not sure if I should read this symbolically or just literally...or both...or neither...

[Photosoph]

Same here. To try and write a review or reply of a poem when it touches such deep issues that could be literal... for me it could feel like I was being too heartless when I wrote it.

I know what it's like to be in a place where you can't help but question God because of the pain. What can I say? I don't know. Despite these places, I've come to know that he is good, because it's true. But that doesn't answer the deep ache in the heart and the heat of the grief.

[Zarn Ishtare]

Same here. To try and write a review or reply of a poem when it touches such deep issues that could be literal... for me it could feel like I was being too heartless when I wrote it.

I know what it's like to be in a place where you can't help but question God because of the pain. What can I say? I don't know. Despite these places, I've come to know that he is good, because it's true. But that doesn't answer the deep ache in the heart and the heat of the grief.

I always love to see your comments, Photo. They are a true blessing.

















"I am sad


and Lonely.


this is a poem."

[Zarn Ishtare]

I would always value the time we spent together

if ever time we had shared




don't cut me out


hear me out

how can you reject me


when I can't find you?

shout!

so I can hear you



deny me,

but loudly,

so that I can find you.

[Photosoph]

I'm really glad they are, Zarn.

"I am sad


and Lonely.


this is a poem."

Short and simple. More like a quote; but the phrasing and use of capital give it that little bit of impact it needs.
Something that I could see on a poster or something; something to make people think a little.

I would always value the time we spent together

if ever time we had shared




don't cut me out


hear me out

how can you reject me


when I can't find you?

shout!

so I can hear you



deny me,

but loudly,

so that I can find you.

Wow. I like how it starts; the thoughts in the first part '...if ever time we had shared'. The next part is good, but seems a little disorganised; maybe changing some of the spacing with the lines would fix that (one has a double break, another has a single break between the lines), but it finishes off very well; love the 'deny me, but loudly, so that I can find you.'
That phrase is just fantastic. Excellent thought, interesting, defines more what you've been talking about or the voice/theme used for the poem, and finishes it off strongly.
Beautiful. ^_^

[Zarn Ishtare]

[quote="Photosoph (post: 1312976)"]I'm really glad they are, Zarn.


Short and simple. More like a quote]




I suppose I need to write more often so that I can see you post, my most favorite Kiwi.

[Zarn Ishtare]

I have held hands in hospitals

and saluted over empty graves


So many times

I have waved goodbye




I have spoken in the night

whispered names, and cried

"stay"

but they cannot help but fly away.




One day

Let me fly away

[Peanut]

I really like your recent poem Zarn...mostly because I can relate to it kind of...also it's brevity makes it a little more powerful in my opinion.

[Photosoph]

I have held hands in hospitals

and saluted over empty graves


So many times

I have waved goodbye




I have spoken in the night

whispered names, and cried

"stay"

but they cannot help but fly away.




One day

Let me fly away

Agreed, Peanut. Actually my sisters' friend passed away recently. Thinking back over that, and also back to something I wrote when my Grandad passed away, I find myself on the same sort of train of thought as the thoughts in the poem. One day, I too, will fly away. It's looking forward that's really got me through things. Looking back to God. In these circumstances, and others too.

It is short, but there are really good (um... would you call them 'devices'?...) within your poem as well.

The alliteration in the first verse; 'holding hands in hospital' -not overdone but subtle enough that you don't notice it consciously, instead it makes it smoother or something unconsciously as you read it. And the saluting over empty graves is an emotive line too.
As for the rest, I might not point out anything specific, but it's great all the same; as Peanut said, it's brevity makes it powerful. You don't say too much; you say just enough, and in the right way.

Aw, thank you. I'd love to read more, but I don't frequent CAA all that much either. XP About once or twice a month. ^_^" :glomp:

All the same, if you continue with your beautiful poetry, that will make me happy. ^_^

[Zarn Ishtare]

I sing and sing and sing


but I don't say anything




it's the sorrow in my soul


I just wanna be made whole



I don't understand

how does the world kill a just man


I want my life to mean more than random shapes and poses

I want my burial to be more than tears and roses




I wanna set you free

[Zarn Ishtare]

"No Allies"


what happens


to a brother you don't believe in?


When he comes to you and says

"Friend, Brother, Ally, Compatriot"

what do you say?


do you say anything?

To that brother you don't believe in.




no
You don't

no matter how loudly he screams


you


don't

[goldenspines]

I apologize that I haven't commented in here for a while, but it's nice to see that you're still writing great stuff as always, Zarn.

I'll just comment on the most recent two.

The "I sing and sing and sing" poem was good. I always like the rhyming verse more than the free verse, just because it has more of a beat to it. I like the theme of this poem as well. It's sorrowful, but still hopeful and determined.

"No Allies" was simple, but still effective in it's meaning, I think.

But yes, as always, great stuff. ^_^

[Zarn Ishtare]

Can someone win?



this game of love


love denied

and love supplied


Let someone be successful

let me hear about it


let it be true.







...Let it be me

[Photosoph]

I sing and sing and sing


but I don't say anything




it's the sorrow in my soul


I just wanna be made whole



I don't understand

how does the world kill a just man


I want my life to mean more than random shapes and poses

I want my burial to be more than tears and roses




I wanna set you free

It's good, but I think the last two lines don't quite match up to the rest of the poem in their standard. I really love the first and second stanzas/verses, but although the ending is good, it's not quite the same. Still very lovely though. ^_^
(Remember, this is coming from the point of view of someone who has read through heaps of your fabulous poetry, so even things I don't think are quite as good as others are still fantastic XD)

"No Allies"


what happens


to a brother you don't believe in?


When he comes to you and says

"Friend, Brother, Ally, Compatriot"

what do you say?


do you say anything?

To that brother you don't believe in.




no
You don't

no matter how loudly he screams


you


don't

Wow. Seriously, that last line has such IMPACT. And the whole of the rest of the poem just leads up to it. It really has a darkness about it though... as poems usually come from things we've experienced, if there's a part of something you've experienced or seen coming through with that darker tone, please be careful. It's great poetry, but it's just I'm not sure if that betrayal is just in this poem or your life also. If so... take care, my brother. >_< It's not good to be deeply wounded, but don't let that wound hurt you even more by not dealing with it.
Sorry for the off tangent; I don't know if I'm right or wrong, but just wanted to say that because... well, I care. ^_^"

Can someone win?



this game of love


love denied

and love supplied


Let someone be successful

let me hear about it


let it be true.







...Let it be me

Aw... you know, this is more of a simple one, but there's something wonderful about it's plain honesty. Especially that last bit -made me go kinda 'aw!' inside. No, don't back away... (...come back!!!... \T.T) not an 'aw' as in 'dang, that's so cute or pitiable or something' but more like 'aw!' because it touched me because it's beautiful and I can relate and it plucked my heartstrings. XP =^_^=

Thank you for more beautiful poetry Zarn! *Glomp*

[Zarn Ishtare]

dry bottles in a dry city

eight days without rain

whispers run over the dry glass

the wind flows through the dead grass





drip, drip


the touches of rain are like fingertips
looking for lovers

[Zarn Ishtare]

"Love Of God Man"


Loved of God-Man

I heard you carry the love of God in your right hand.

Like it's nothing to talk about.

you just give it out to anyone.

No exclusivity.

no denying, just supplying

always giving, never buying.

never selling

forever telling.

[Lady Kenshin]

Nice! ^_^

[Zarn Ishtare]

"1920's SOS"



"Mister mister


won't you buy the paper

Mister won't you buy the paper today?


it's quite the story, she was a real morning glory

how'd she end up in the paper you say?




Mr, I didn't even kiss her

they say I hate her,

hurt her and I....her...

tied her up and left her in the bay





it's not true

it's all because of you

you went and kissed her

Why'd you kiss my sister

You coulda killed her quicker

Instead I had to stick her

your dirty hands defiled

your inelegance has riled


the angry man

the son of sam


the sister-killer

the man I am."









"Points Of Light"



the gate/the light/ the white


the stars that burn at night

they weave unending light

they fly out of our sight


they leave our eyes bright

All the million points of light


in a dim, dim place.

[Zarn Ishtare]

Gone until August Fifth....love all of you.



May God bless and keep you in all of your days, that you might live long and happily. JHVH SHALOM

[Photosoph]

dry bottles in a dry city

eight days without rain

whispers run over the dry glass

the wind flows through the dead grass





drip, drip


the touches of rain are like fingertips
looking for lovers

Wow. Man I love your ideas; this is beautiful, with a ghostly, haunting kind of feel about the town. Like a ghost town; the thirst was too much and so many people have gone, the rain has to search for them.... something that touched a little on that was what I got (that doesn't explain the whole feel of the poem or anything, but that was a little of the image I got). Also reflective of people, or peoples' souls; with rain maybe being good things or the touch of God? So easy to apply this poem to personal musings about different things... that's very good.

And of course, the writing itself conveyed your imagery so beautifully. ^_^

"Love Of God Man"


Loved of God-Man

I heard you carry the love of God in your right hand.

Like it's nothing to talk about.

you just give it out to anyone.

No exclusivity.

no denying, just supplying

always giving, never buying.

never selling

forever telling.

Wow. Nice, but confusing. Just that line 'like it's nothing to talk about'... could that mean that there's a reverence in the silence that does not talk of it, or that the carrier regards it as worthless since they don't talk about it? Just that bit puzzled me.
I really like it though -the rest to me speaks in a more positive light of the carrier, contrary to my first impression which was to take that particular line in a negative connotation.
Even the fact that that line confuses me could be good; if you take it in its negative state, the poem seems to speak from someone watching, confused as these conflicting aspects that appear good or bad in a christian (the loved of God-Man). If you take it in its positive, the poem flows more naturally. So really, it's got at least two levels to it there... very clever if done purposely, still very clever if not. XD

"1920's SOS"



"Mister mister


won't you buy the paper

Mister won't you buy the paper today?


it's quite the story, she was a real morning glory

how'd she end up in the paper you say?




Mr, I didn't even kiss her

they say I hate her,

hurt her and I....her...

tied her up and left her in the bay





it's not true

it's all because of you

you went and kissed her

Why'd you kiss my sister

You coulda killed her quicker

Instead I had to stick her

your dirty hands defiled

your inelegance has riled


the angry man

the son of sam


the sister-killer

the man I am."

Wow. Very interesting... you can feel the passion of anger, but mixed/muted by the sadness. I really like the 'voice' in this poem; how the lines really speak in the way that a person would, giving it a good, believable voice.
One thing that confuses me though... is it meant to appear that the person buying the paper is that same one who confesses? If not, maybe some quotation marks could help to mark where a new voice starts, if there are really two voices.

Very cool; thank you for more poetry Zarn. Sorry that I'm not on all the time to give you instant posts and feedback. ^_^"

Aw... take care, mon ami. Prend soin de toi... take care of yourself (not sure if my grammar is 100% correct there or not. XP)
See you in August; or a little later if I miss you when you're back on.

Great to see/hear/read from you again Zarn. ^^

[Zarn Ishtare]

So Wooooaaah I'm back...kinda. Still away from regular internet use, but I do however have enough time to put out my latest and greatest set of poetry...


let's just say I was inspired...very inspired, by the relentless boredom of field training, the killer heat, the constant frustration...and the beautiful landscape. It's set in different portions, I might edit it later...or not. Sorry it's too much, but I just want it all out there before my paper copies get trashed. So, without further ado, I give you...The Desert Essa's.





"Night Thoughts"



So many broken parts
How many cracks make a cracked man?













"I felt you reach for me
in the stirrings of your sleep
As the shadows swayed

For a moment the door cracked open
For a moment I could see you."




:"So much dust
So much
layed down to rust
so many empty things
empty promises
How long till the water runs dry?

How long till I dream better dreams

I need sleep



I need peace.








[INDENT][INDENT]"Sleepy leaves
fall soundlessly
In the restless breeze
of the night."[/INDENT][/INDENT]

[Zarn Ishtare]

The Desert Essa's
"Days In The Desert"







"oh, the hills of golden grass

the wind moves like fingers through a lover's hair

the sun is like a warm embrace

caressing everything








[INDENT][INDENT]"...murky waters move so slow
down
underground
creep, sleep...Final and Deep."[/INDENT][/INDENT]












[INDENT]Cool blue water
running over a red, red wound[/INDENT]






Part the sea of grass
take in the stunted trees.

breathe the breeze.












"With the fall of the night
my face fell
thoughts of you
your light still burns
but not for me"






golden glow
my personal sun
affection fills my features
stone softens
in the silent conversation
I hear everything you speak

[Zarn Ishtare]

The Desert Essa's
"The Worshipful Essa's"





Heya Heya Heya
music in the tent
light from the firmament
I hear clapping in the tabernacle
heya heya heya
movment in the sound
it all flys in the air
it all comes crashing down






shhhhh....










(Today)
A stone flew from my hand
and became an inferno



a butterfly slipped from my grip
and changed into the wind



wen the time comes for me

Will I burn?




...or will I Change?"






So many shades and shapes
my heart for Yelohim
Yeshua (to Chant)

Yeshua (To Sing)

Yeshua (For everything)






Let me find
the letter of my own salvation

[Zarn Ishtare]

Essa's From The Desert
"Essa In Exile, In Three Parts"




"Light Hill, Dark Mountain"
white grass borders black brambles
Burnt by the Sun

patterns in thse shadow
what lays unburnt
only the sickle trees swaying;
framed on the ridge by the sky.


two mounts, moving together
seperate, but one.






Weep and moan
at the ailing wall
the Wailing Wall
as every dusty, forgotten thought
falls upon you
as you mourn
me








(the description of the place)


"Old town
falling down
unwashed and unashamed
time adds no honor to your name

the wind brays, you creak and sway
broken houses in a warm wind
while all around you, covered in sleep
lay the giants of the Desert
Forgotten and Deep."