Not so good poetry

Unleash your creative writing skills here.

Not so good poetry

Postby Benn » Thu Mar 26, 2009 10:27 pm

I dislike poetry because it goes beyond my comprehension most of the time. However I did write two poems and was reminded of them by another thread on CAA so I thought I'd post them. (the second poem has been edited for content)
-------------------------------------------

http://fc39.deviantart.com/fs4/i/2004/223/7/7/sin.jpg
(sorry this is poem uses two columns which i can't do here so the link is to a picture of it)

--------------------------------------------

so you've did the things
that i have done.
the unspeakable things
our parents shun.
to show you're in control
you did it all
i feel i should try to console,
for judgement who am i to call?

yet..

i'm **** at all your
hellish deeds
letting men fullfill their
sexual needs.
d*** them to hell i
hope they die.
i want to beat them
so bad I cry.

yet is my anger
really towards them and you?
or is it because i myself
have done it all too?
the loathe and spite
i feel within
prays God might kill me
for my ugly sin.

angry as i sit alone
the tears stain my face
wonering if i'll ever
accept God's tender grace
User avatar
Benn
 
Posts: 89
Joined: Sat Jul 05, 2008 2:32 pm
Location: Chicagoland

Postby nicktk1 » Fri Mar 27, 2009 7:09 am

Nice stuff; really dark though. Dont put yourself down btw, art takes time to progress.

Ever hear of bradley hathaway? hes awesome hes got some cool poetry, christian stuff.
link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGzS-oWQpDE&feature=related

sorry audios kinda off but...hey i tried!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[color="Red"]its[/color] [color="Lime"]cuz[/color] [color="Yellow"]i[/color]
[color="Yellow"] love [/color][color="Magenta"]you[/color][color="Red"] that[/color][color="Cyan"]i[/color]
[color="Yellow"]follow[/color] [color="Lime"]you[/color]
O o
/¯________________________
| I'MA FIRIN' MAH LAZOR!!! BLAAAAGH!!!
\_¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
User avatar
nicktk1
 
Posts: 51
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2006 6:44 pm
Location: Kutztown,pa

Postby nicktk1 » Fri Mar 27, 2009 7:19 am

Just a lil something that came to mind:

A good man told me once that I'm good enough to be a prince....
...
i don't feel that way now,
the man who told me this i have let down
time
and
time
again.
his wounded hands his broken side, every time i hear about it i almost cry...
and yet...
i turn from him...
time
and
time
again....
The same man who said "the weak will carry the strong"
The same man who cried "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?"
The God-man i have forsaken so many times...and yet he takes me back
...
i dont know...
i live for you, this is the one truth i wlll always feel.
even when i stumble and fall, and even when i die
even when i sin, and turn my back to you.
i know you will forgive me
oh, Jesus, how i could sing of you
...
...
...
forever
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[color="Red"]its[/color] [color="Lime"]cuz[/color] [color="Yellow"]i[/color]
[color="Yellow"] love [/color][color="Magenta"]you[/color][color="Red"] that[/color][color="Cyan"]i[/color]
[color="Yellow"]follow[/color] [color="Lime"]you[/color]
O o
/¯________________________
| I'MA FIRIN' MAH LAZOR!!! BLAAAAGH!!!
\_¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
User avatar
nicktk1
 
Posts: 51
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2006 6:44 pm
Location: Kutztown,pa


Return to Writing

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 107 guests