Ongoing inner termoil (or something)

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Ongoing inner termoil (or something)

Postby madphilb » Fri Mar 12, 2004 6:06 pm

I try no to bother people with things too often, but this thing has been grating on me for a while and it poped up it's ugly head on me tonight... so I thought I'd try to enlist some spiritual backup of a sort... anyway....

The woman who interoduced me and my Ex-wife has been a friend of mine for years, even though we've not always seen eye-to-eye on things, I've been able to overlook things....

However I've come to feel that she's never had much respect for me, if any, and when I finally found out my ex remarried she seemed to turn on me... or at least it what I've been feeling....

Anyway... after a few e-mail exchanges with her the end of last year I decided it would be best if I didn't say anything else to her.... it would have been out of anger and I don't want to say anything I really don't mean... or at least regret later.

The underlying problem is with me, I know that... there are issues here that I have to deal with... things that it'll have to be just me and God....

this (ex)friend of mine e-mailed me today, typical stuff.... 3 or 4 lines of "sorry I don't see things your way" and "hope you're doing well," along with an attachement of some thing or another to read. I so much want to tear her up one side and down the other.... but I can't... shouldn't.

And this is a case where writing the e-mail/letter and destroying it afterwards won't help... this runs in the back of my mind far more than I should let it (part of the problem, I think)

Essentially I sit here with oozing wounds, wounds that need healing (so that's a big part of what I'm asking for), but some patience and wisdom would be good too....

Anyway... Hope you guys don't mind me dumping this here... in the meantime I think I'll go look for information on the new Rollercoaster Tycoon game, or have a good cry, or something ;)
PHIL

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Postby Spiritsword » Fri Mar 12, 2004 6:25 pm

I will pray for you.
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Postby cbwing0 » Fri Mar 12, 2004 8:14 pm

I will pray for you. :)
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Postby martinloyola » Fri Mar 12, 2004 11:06 pm

many prayers for you, the friend and your ex-wife
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Postby Saint Kevin » Fri Mar 12, 2004 11:32 pm

Sorry I can't really offer anything very insightful. Just pray for her. I'll pray for you, your ex-wife, and this woman.
Our lives are but a vapor, let us not let waste our time and breath on vanities, but let us spend ourselves for the Kingdom, seeking a better resurrection.

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Postby kaji » Mon Mar 15, 2004 10:02 am

madphilb,
Its hard to try and give some one who is my senior advice, Im sure you have lived many more experiances than I have and have learned countless more lessions on life. But I will offer you what I have learned from the Bible, and not so much, at my own hands.

IMHO, the root of all offence is pride. Either from you, or the offender. I know its just so darn hard, but one way or another you are going to have to let it all go (That is, trust God with every thing), or it will tear you apart along with those around you.

But remember, that you dont have to deal with any of those issues, you mentioned above, alone. God wants us to seek him in everything we do, every aspect of our lives. Big to small, God wants it all. (Cool, by Gods grace, I just made that ryme. How very unlike me.^^)

You already have recognized your troubles, now its time to move forward. Seek Gods will in your life and every thing else will follow. That is, if you are striving to live a Godly life, then God will lead you where he wants you to go/do.

I firmly believe that God will never give us somthing we cannot handle, and he will never leave us. James 1:2-3. That is my siggy.

I to, will pray for you, in every thing you do. (I did it again!!!^^)
Depend on it. God's work done in God's way will never lack God's supply. He is too wise a God to frustrate His purposes for lack of funds, and He can just as easily supply them ahead of time as afterwards, and He much prefers doing so.
- J. Hudson Taylor
I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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Postby CobaltAngel » Mon Mar 15, 2004 1:07 pm

You've got my prayers.
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Postby blueraven » Mon Mar 15, 2004 1:11 pm

I'll be praying.
"Tell me not, in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream!
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
and things are not what they seem.
Life is real! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou art; to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul."
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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Postby madphilb » Mon Mar 15, 2004 4:41 pm

Thanks everyone... and Kaji... thanks too...

This was the cornerstone of what God taught me when my wife first left all those years ago, and the truth is I can't do anything about anyone but me, so what they believe or say has little bearing on my life (short of what I let it).

It's also amazing what a nights sleep will do too :D

I may just setup a filter and a folder and sort any mail from her into this folder for the time being... till I'm in a better state of mind to actually deal with her (not that she ever really sends me any personal messages anyway). I don't want to block her address... so...

In the meantime it's me and God, and I can trust Him with that.

You're prayers are all much apreciated.
PHIL

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Postby kaji » Tue Mar 16, 2004 7:14 am

Rock-On.
Depend on it. God's work done in God's way will never lack God's supply. He is too wise a God to frustrate His purposes for lack of funds, and He can just as easily supply them ahead of time as afterwards, and He much prefers doing so.
- J. Hudson Taylor
I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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Postby Angel37 » Tue Mar 16, 2004 7:22 am

Yeah, I know my advice is late but i just went through something almost exactly similar (even though I'm 16, a girl, and not even thinking about being married).
Time heals all wounds. Tell her how you feel. Tell her you're angry and that for her sake you need some time. Tell her to just leave you be. She'll be hurt but in the end, it'll be better for the two of you that way. When you've found your peace with God and yourself, then try talking to her again. In my case, I fell in love with a guy who used me. Despite my love for him, I needed to get him out of my life and despite the pain he caused me, I had to do it without causing him pain. I'm still dealing with that too. ( since it was recent) But I honestly think you just need time to sort things out with God and yourself before you can even hope to be able to rationally deal with her. *bows* You're old enough to be my father so I hope my advice didn't sound too childish! Oh! Sorry bout the old comment! Ack! I'll just leave before I say anything else that's too embaressing..
-Angel of Zarn
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Postby madphilb » Tue Mar 16, 2004 4:26 pm

Angel37 wrote:*bows* You're old enough to be my father so I hope my advice didn't sound too childish! Oh! Sorry bout the old comment! Ack! I'll just leave before I say anything else that's too embaressing..

:lol:

If I had been so wise at your age... well.... anyway ]just barely[/i] old enough to be your father :lol:

Thanks :thumb:
PHIL

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Postby Mave » Tue Mar 16, 2004 5:27 pm

If it's not too late, I'll chip in my prayers as well.
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Postby madphilb » Wed Mar 17, 2004 10:19 pm

Mave wrote:If it's not too late, I'll chip in my prayers as well.

Never too late for prayers ;)

I susspect this is going to take a while to clear up.... I'm sure I've got a certain amount of pride that I'll need to work through before anything else will be of much good (good call Kaji)...

One of the main Marriage Restoration ministries that I was lead to when my "ex" left me was Covenant Keepers Inc., and what they focus on is that even if the other party left, the only thing you really have control over is your own life and how you act/react. So, the thing I need to work on fixing is me, with God's help and guidence.

I've got something that kinda goes along with that, maybe I'll post it to Testimonies or something and link to it from here... we'll see how energetic I am tomorrow ;)
PHIL

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