[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 5080: mysql_connect(): Too many connections
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 5106: mysql_query(): Too many connections
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 5106: mysql_query(): A link to the server could not be established
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 5107: mysql_fetch_assoc() expects parameter 1 to be resource, boolean given
My entire short story. - CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

My entire short story.

Unleash your creative writing skills here.

My entire short story.

Postby Gabriel 9.0 » Tue Jul 24, 2007 10:05 am

Just take note that I was bored at the time I wrote this and was kinda pressured.

Anyway here is the link to my first work of writing:
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/53489327/
User avatar
Gabriel 9.0
 
Posts: 736
Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2007 5:57 pm
Location: Classified

Postby Gabriel 9.0 » Tue Aug 28, 2007 5:16 pm

Bump
User avatar
Gabriel 9.0
 
Posts: 736
Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2007 5:57 pm
Location: Classified

Postby Esoteric » Wed Aug 29, 2007 6:42 pm

Well, um, to be honest it doesn't read much like a story. It's reads like a detailed synopsis...summarizing what was said and done with a very detached feel. This is a good start, and you could certainly turn it into a exciting, engaging story with a bit more effort. It has promise, it just needs work.
User avatar
Esoteric
 
Posts: 1603
Joined: Sun Aug 22, 2004 1:12 pm
Location: The Lost Room.

Postby Gabriel 9.0 » Sun Sep 02, 2007 6:00 pm

Esoteric wrote:Well, um, to be honest it doesn't read much like a story. It's reads like a detailed synopsis...summarizing what was said and done with a very detached feel. This is a good start, and you could certainly turn it into a exciting, engaging story with a bit more effort. It has promise, it just needs work.


Thanks for the comment, I figured it needed more effort in it.
User avatar
Gabriel 9.0
 
Posts: 736
Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2007 5:57 pm
Location: Classified


Return to Writing

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 31 guests