Shifters (new)

[Esoteric]

Actually, it's more because she's come into contact with someone who's bringing some bad experiences back to mind... so really, she just wants to take a break with her thoughts. Does that come through enough?

BY contact with someone, are you referring to Fly? If so, then no...it didn't really come through because of this section:

Fly made no reply. Chase added nothing more. And yet the Lapine’s eyes suddenly widened]
Fly appears to have no idea what's been going on with Chase...at least that's how it reads. After reading it four times, I finally realized...oh, the last part is Drift thinking, not Fly. Drift's presence in the story has been much weaker of late, and it's effecting the solidity of his trains of thought. I think that's part of the reason this didn't immediately come across to me as one of his comments....that, and the fact that there's no mention of him in the sentences before, only of Fly, so the natural association is to her. Does that make sense? (-I think I just confused myself!)
All this has to do with the trial and guild breakup three months ago...right? I get that feeling, but so little has been revealed, that I'm not sure how it relates yet. Yeah, perhaps a bit more conversation...or some carefully chosen information should be exchanged before Chase kicks them out for some sleep.

Once again, thank you for your feedback! \^_^ It's always nice, and useful too.
By the way, when do you think the next update on your Workbench Epic will be? ^_^

No problem! I hope it helps. WorkBench Epic will update on the 14/15th as usual. I didn't make an announcement in the thread for the last update, but I'm pretty sure you've visited since then anyway. Yeah, I'll probably announce the update this time, but since so few people respond, it was starting to feel like just me bumping the thread.

[Photosoph]

Thanks; it's good to know that. Definitely something to go back and edit. *Nods* Yup, Fly's the one that's bringing back the bad memories. I also agree -I do need to expand more, or at least give some more details about what actually happened before. I guess I've been trying to straddle the line between mystery and giving it all away... but it's still in rough stage, and there are many parts that can do with a good tidying up. ^_^ I really like the suggestion of a longer conversation before she kicks them out. I might use that. However, an explanation is coming up very, very soon, as far as I remember; hopefully that will iron things out.

Once again, thank you so much for the helpful advice. \^_^ And thank you for reading it -you, Eso, and everyone else too. ^^

[Photosoph]

I'm sorry for the massive break; I haven't been feeling that great over the past couple of weeks. I hope the next bit's all right -it should be, but I'm just unsure whether I've 'edited' it up to the standard I usually do (which isn't always perfect, but might be better than this), since my brain is a little 'out of it' at the moment. It shouldn't really make much of a difference -but if it does, then that will most likely be why. ^^


Chapter Twelve -continued

“Well…â€

[Felix]

Chapter 12 is fantastic! ^___^ I love that underground place you described. It sounds so beautiful... and I'd love to be there. And now I really wish I could shift, ehehe ^^;
I feel sorry for Chase... I think that's the point, right? Haha. I love Fly too much. You writer her dialogue and expressions so well. Great job! I'm really loving this :]

[Photosoph]

Aw, thank you very much. =^_^= Glad you enjoyed it -and thank you for the comment!
Yeah, I like Fly too -I'm just so glad you like her so much! I wasn't sure how much she wasn't coming through in my writing.
It was fun to try and think of an interesting place... maybe I should try to draw it sometime. However, with the other things I'm working on and my reluctance to do huge, detailed pictures at the moment, I'm not sure it would work out.

Aw, yes... feeling sorry for Chase; definitely part of it. You know -those angsty, depressing backstories that have to come in SOMEWHERE.

[Esoteric]

At last we find out about the trial. Curious, so they were making an example of her. An interesting twist. It's good that you explained about the three months because, like Drift I hardly considered that harsh. More interesting is that she ventured to bring Drift back before her sentence completed. Makes me wonder what the punishment for that would've been.... Some good developments, keep it coming!

[Photosoph]

Thank you very much. \^_^ I'm glad you seem to find the explanation satisfactory. Yup... I've a lot of the implications etc all nutted out in this 'devious' little brain of mine. >:D *Evil laugh*

Now... I think I need to go and write some more new material on the story...

[USSRGirl]

I've just read the first two chapters and so far I love the story! A bit abrupt and like Eso said, it left me curious about what happened before Zack "shifted." Chase is a great character though. Her mysterious, kinda emotionless attitude is very well done and I love her quirky metaphors. "Are your ears ringing like a cathedral with an over-happy Quasimodo?" XD That one made me laugh.

[Photosoph]

Thanks! Glad you like it so far, USSRgirl. ^^

Sorry that it's been so long since I updated -lots of things, such as putting it off (eh heh... ^^;), working on my drawings, internet troubles, etc have kind of put me off it. But seriously, I've had enough time to do it, but haven't. So I apologise.

I hope you guys don't mind reading after so long a gap; also, I'm kind of wondering how things are going to go later on the story... I'm a little nervous about how the development of certain characters will work out (whether they'll be developed enough, or whether it will be all right with them not-so-developed, etc), so I think I'll need some advice when I get to that point. ^^; For the moment, though, here's the latest update. ^^ Thanks for your patience.



Chapter Fourteen

Not surprisingly, when Chase decided ‘time out’ was over, she didn’t hesitate to let them know.
Appearing out of nowhere, she floated eerily before and Drift and Fly. Seconds later, she fell earthwards. Her feet sunk partially into one of the overgrown mushroom’s caps with an odd slurp.

“So you’re done.â€