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I thought about grave digging my old poetry topic, but figured I'd just make a new one since some of these I wanted to post aren't exactly poetry.

The first and last of these were written less than 20 minutes ago, the middle one is from a day or two ago. Feel free to critique/slam/compliment/comment anything I write as hard or light as you wish (hard critique is preferred over all the rest though). Tell me what you think they mean too; I love seeing other people's interpretations of things.


You Sold Your Heart Too, My Friend
Life all turns to yelling when they don't know what you're selling,
But as soon as you've sold out the door you go
To carry on with no recollection that you ever danced with demons.
They stole you heart, or had it from the start, and you never gave a thought
To see how twisted you'd become by the time your wares were bought

---

Clear As Day
Sometimes when I casually inform someone that the sky above them is blue, they begin to scream and claw their eyes out. They seem so scared, so frightened by this salient fact. It baffles me.

It makes me wonder. If I clawed out my eyes too, would the sky no longer be blue? If the world could not see it, would the sky finally change its color? Somehow, I doubt our refusal to see it would change its temperament at all. Pity.

---

the day, today
Almost away, almost almost away from the day, today, in a way it was in my way, so I made my way away from the day today in a way that almost took me away from today till dawn should bring another today to me in its usual way. Almost away, then the pounding came and shook away my way away from the day today.

Woah, good stuff! I love the short, compactness to these poems. It makes them easier to read than long, wordy poems, and it makes them pack more of a punch and get their point across.
I love the first one, and I guess my interpretation of it is sorta how we sell ourselves out to different things. We sell or give our hearts away, we sell our personalities and conform ourselves to our peers... stuff like that.

And the second one is just awesome. I think it's my favorite. I don't know exactly how I interpret it, but all I know is that I love it!

And the last one confused me really bad. I'm too dyslexic to read that XD but it's really awesome! I like the rhythm that all of the ways and aways make.

Short poems have always been a favorite of mine, and lately I've been writing a lot of them, which is fun for me. Although sometimes they get aggravating because I like to stress over every single word and piece of punctuation and capitalization.

I like your interpretation of the first one; I can see that in there now.

Thanks! I was worried about this one when I wrote it, but it was something I needed to get out so I eventually decided to just go and stick with it, so its good to hear positive feedback on it.

Haha, that one was so much fun to write, although the experience it describes wasn't very fun lol. I don't blame you for being confused, I got lost a few times while writing it.

Here's a couple of the ones I wrote today. One short one, and one that's more shortish-average length. The short one's been bouncing around in my head for a few days, the other came to me today while watching the Mushi-shi episode of the same title (I believe it's episode 4).

Skin Deep
Beautiful? Sweetheart, you're drop-dead gorgeous. Now could you be a dear and do so? Because, frankly, you're not even deep enough to bury a word in.

---

The Pillow Pathway
Darkness--I slept.

My eyes blind and my ears silent, my mind fabricated its own reality,
An amalgam--a maelstrom of memory and desire and fear,
A patchwork quilt sewn from threads of my own subconsciousness.
The visions that danced behind my eyes, the sounds that echoed beyond my ears--
They were terrific; they were terrible;
They fostered an ambivalence the likes of which I had never dreamed, and I trembled within,
I trembled.

Fantastic, phantasmagorical--a death within life, yet,
Vibrant--beyond the vitality of the brightest spring, and,
Serene, silent as the silken winter. So beautiful. Too beautiful;
Perception could not fathom, reason could not define
The turbulence of a thing so natural, yet so divine.
Drowning, I faded in the wake of their power,
Faded into the nothing they wrought from my longing.
An oblivion bathed in darkness, birthed from within and hidden.
Overtaken, with the weakening of my body they were actualized and you trembled in fear,
You trembled.

Sunrise--

Wow, excellent stuff! I really dig your poetry style! When I write poetry, I always make my poems rhyme and keep a certain rhythm so they're more like songs, but I like how yours are sorta loose and punchy, if it makes sense to describe them that way. I think it's very cool, and I also love your use of big, uncommon words. I'm a lover of big words, so that's neat to see.

I love skin deep. That is so short, but so perfect. Especially the line about burying a word in, I love that. Really excellent job with that one.

I really like Pillow Pathway as well. I'm guessing that it's describing a dream of sorts? Or at least the process of dreaming? I really like how you have dreaming/sleep offset at the beginning, then the descriptions of the dream, then just stuck the word sunrise at the end. Very powerful. I love the words and visuals you chose.

I'd love to read more if you've got it!

Believe it or not, the majority of my work is probably similar to how you described yours. I think it's only recently, by the influence of two poets on DeviantArt (elisiabattell and Miss Deathwish) and a band whose lyrics I love (Norma Jean) that I've taken on that "loose and punchy" style (that's way better than I could have described it). I actually kind of miss writing with more of a cadence because of my love for music; most of my newer pieces don't convert to song too well.

I love big words as well, and so many of them have become so common to me now because of writing, it's fun. Things like "amalgam' and "ambivalence" feel like words everyone should know lol. It also helps that my English teacher has a love for these things as well, so I'm always doing my best to nonplus her.

Yay! I fought with that final line a lot before I decided on that. I'm very glad it worked out well.

Pillow Pathway is...well, hard to describe. I think what you said is pretty close, but more specifically the speakers dreams turned into some sort of reality (sleepwalking? just did it? something like the Mushi did in that episode I referenced? I don't know, he never told me...) and that led to problems for the person he cared about, and by the time sunrise came there was nothing left.

Here's a few more before I retire for the night.

2am Dragons
You're so blind.

Stop dancing long enough to actually hear the music.

Learn to let go and feel; let go and get a grip on reality.

I swear, sometimes you move so loud, so frakking loud. Shut yourself up already!

What good are your eyes if they're only video cameras?

Don't look at me for answers, this is one movie you'll have to script yourself before you can play it back.

---

Faded Picture
To My Dearest,
To read terror in your eyes,
To drink fright from your skull,
To hear horror cracking between your teeth,
To taste the fear in your soul...
These are my desires; I will see them through forthwith,
And I shall not, I cannot be stopped or hindered.
My hunger cannot be satisfied, my thirst cannot be quenched by any, save you
You, my dear, will be my meal tonight
And the next, and the next, and the next: I won't relent.
Pity that you can't escape me, isn't it?

All my love,
N.M.

P.S.: You thought you buried me too deep for this, didn't you, Sweetheart?

---

Content To Say We Tried When All We Did Was Watch Them Die
Death to all that desire it for themselves and make my life a living Hell!
Death to all that desire it for themselves and make my life a living Hell!
Join in the chant! Take up the cry!
Bid them their own wishes to die
As I do so to bid them wish otherwise
To no avail. No, to no avail on any side
Though we all wish and cry and try
To convince one another otherwise
We never listen, we never will.
We find out places and stay there--still.


We fear the advent of the change success would bring,
And fear fore'er will in this victory sing.

Once again, great stuff! I really like the first one, and the emphasis on certain words, although as a whole I can't quite figure out what the meaning of it is. But then sometimes that's the point of poetry I guess, huh? I'm sure it has meaning to you. I like it, in any case!

I also love the second one. It's rather dark and disturbing, but I like poems like that, and you pulled this off exceptionally well. I especially love the lines "to drink fright from your skull / to hear horror cracking between your teeth." Good stuff, but who the heck is N.M.?

The third one might be my favorite. I don't have a lot to comment about it, but I really love it. The opening lines themselves are just awesome.

Can't wait to read more!

Felix (post: 1333216) wrote:Once again, great stuff! I really like the first one, and the emphasis on certain words, although as a whole I can't quite figure out what the meaning of it is. But then sometimes that's the point of poetry I guess, huh? I'm sure it has meaning to you. I like it, in any case!

I also love the second one. It's rather dark and disturbing, but I like poems like that, and you pulled this off exceptionally well. I especially love the lines "to drink fright from your skull / to hear horror cracking between your teeth." Good stuff, but who the heck is N.M.?

The third one might be my favorite. I don't have a lot to comment about it, but I really love it. The opening lines themselves are just awesome.

Can't wait to read more!

(For me at least) the meaning of the first one is primarily in the last two lines, and you can find a bit of it in the first line.

As to N.M. in the second one...haha. I can't spoil that bit! It's the main point of the entire poem. You'll have to think that one out yourself.

Ok, continuing going back in time with my work, here's 3 more. The first two are two of my favorite pieces that I've ever written, and the last is one that I doubt will make sense to anyone but me, because it's about what it's about in the least, nor is it symbolic or metaphoric of anything.

Slept With Faust (I like this better with the proper spacing, but oh well. I believe if you hit "quote" you'll be able to see the spacing.)

Oh! How horrid to see you here again.
How horrid to hear you like this--
How horrid to feel us like this--

I've slept with Faust so many times but he's always a different person.
Always different, but so strikingly similar, and oh his deals--his deals!

The cards are always face down and I face them in fear
Fear that their faces are more terrible than my own
Fear that their faces are tastless and unknown
Fear--faultless fear--of all I know and everything I don't

He'll be here too, soon. He'll be here too soon.
Come to keep our end of the deal up in the air so we'll never know where it lands


Taste that? That's pleasure when it rots.
Happens every time.
You always say it won't, but you always know it will--
and still you come back for more.
Every. Single. Time.


Why don't you just die?
Can you not just die?
Go away and die, die, die.

I wear these sheets because they make me feel like a ghost
Like a fraction,
Like a host,
Like I can just pretend,
of what I was
of my total self
to someone else's party
like the party's really mine.

Mine. All mine.
At least until he arrives.
It's ninety past nine and the century finally comes.
The season of the century ends,
I was so sick of this cold weather--it always made me creep inside
But this turn of events makes it all feel a bit too warm where I'm headed.

I slept with Faust too many times and he was always a different person.
Always different, but so strikingly similar, and oh his deals--my deals!

His card landed face up and the face was mine. He was mine and we were one.

How horrid to feel us like this--
How horrid to hear you like this--
Oh! How horrid to see that I am here.

---

Playing With Turtles

Special thanks, credits' roll
Over dead once more, no more, again
Right off the top, higher than thought
Shoom! They go like they were shot
Projectiles of bedtime
Bullets of beddy-bye sleepy-time
Where'd they go? I don't know
But I say we light up life and follow
Down and up up up! Whee! a trampoline
Of dreams I never had and always wanted
Bright and shiny, so many brights and shinies
All mines, and theirs, and ours and mines
Step step, boom boom! Why don't you come too?
Too much time dancing, digging, playing with turtles
Just roll over fall down and hurtle hurtle HURTLE!
Not by yourself you silly goose
Kick the goats, lambs get you loose
Of gravity when you give up go down and roll
Over away to the pole like Nick and a jolly old soul
---

To Stop a Thought Train

Apple pie, apple pie with whipped cream
Whipped cream and ice cream on Christmas and Thanksgiving
So sweet so good so nice warm and mmmm...
Taste buds all happy, mind so delighted
Lost to existence, caught in delicious
Whipped cream, crust, ice cream and filling
Whipped cream, crust, ice cream and filling!
What more could I want need desire?
Pile up the pie! Higher higher HIGHER!

One thing I love about some of your poems, like "Slept With Faust," is that they really ring of things that are much deeper than I can initially grasp. They beg me to read them a second or third time to try to understand the mysterious, shaded meanings hidden in the lines. It's a real awesome thing, trust me.

I love Slept With Faust, although I don't quite understand it. But I still love it! It would make an awesome song, I think.

And okay, Playing With Turtles is just awesome! It reminds me of a Dr. Seuss poem gone awry, and awry in a good way. Very cool.

The last one doesn't make sense to me, unless the whole point of the poem is just pie, because that's what it seems like to me XD But I love pie, so that's okay. Great poem!

Felix (post: 1333639) wrote:One thing I love about some of your poems, like "Slept With Faust," is that they really ring of things that are much deeper than I can initially grasp. They beg me to read them a second or third time to try to understand the mysterious, shaded meanings hidden in the lines. It's a real awesome thing, trust me.

I love Slept With Faust, although I don't quite understand it. But I still love it! It would make an awesome song, I think.

And okay, Playing With Turtles is just awesome! It reminds me of a Dr. Seuss poem gone awry, and awry in a good way. Very cool.

The last one doesn't make sense to me, unless the whole point of the poem is just pie, because that's what it seems like to me XD But I love pie, so that's okay. Great poem!

Thanks again, that's something I've been getting into lately (again, I blame Norma Jean and elisiabattell). I've developed some fascination with being really vague whenever I can.

You think Slept With Faust would make a good song? That's something I've never seen in that poem. Hm...

Playing With Turtles was ridiculously fun to write. And haha, nope. To stop a thought train has nothing to do with pie, really.

All right, I've got a few more than usual this time, but 5 of them are haiku, so they're pretty short. The first is another really short one that has alot of meaning to me personally, and it is probably the poem that made me stress the most over each individual word choice in both the title and the piece itself. The second isn't really about anything important, and if you weren't there the night/day it happened it wouldn't make sense, and since I was alone no one gets it, and quite frankly, I don't even know what a few of the lines are about anymore...lol. "So What'd You Think" is a lighthearted song I wrote in Facebook chat while waiting for a girl I know to give me her opinion on a poem I'd just showed her (she has a tendency to miraculously vanish whenever I show her poetry)]I Possess an Unholy Fear[/B]
What was I saying? And who are you again?

---

They Didn't Charge Me For the Weapon, Only For the Horse
Birds were up before I was down
Europe's song had lost its sound
Shadows, shadows, all around
As I made my way to peace

If I would agree to disagree
With this beast of electricity
Perhaps it would no longer spite me
As my strength begins to wane

Down up down right after the set
Don't want to gamble, but I'll take a bet
I'm more than what went through their head
When Europe was still singing

Such a squishy piece of mettle
Should never, never ever settle
Just to keep face out of the kettle
That boils business trends

Topics dance and pennies change
Hands are shaken as bows are laced
Return now to the quiet place
Where the rambler never dies

---

So What'd You Think?
Sittin' in a chat waitin' on a re-ply
Been waitin' so long I think I might die
But not really I just needed that rhyme
And that word worked, so I used it
(worked so I used it)

Sittin' in a chat goin' out of my mind
So far out of it I think I might cry
But prolly not really I just needed a line
And that one worked so I used it
(worked so I used it)

I'm usin' rhymes that are actually lies
and I'm writin' lines that I think I despise
Just because I don't know, what else I can do--

While I wait on you.
While I wait on yooou
While I wait on you.

On you, oon you, on you
(while I wait on you)
[repeat 3x then continue to repeat as it fades]

---

Haiku, Write, Heart, Bliss, Comment

Just a few haikus
They are for your enjoyment
I hope you like them

--

I wanted to write
So I began to compose
This was the result

--

I tasted a heart
It was sweet and still beating
But now it is not

--

Body--still with bliss
There was a hole in his chest
She'd stolen his heart

--

I wrote these haiku
Now they have been read by you
Thank you for your time