CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

[align=center]Good evening to those who may be interested in reading this.

I've been combating a lot of depression for the past three weeks, and with things getting only worse with me, I've decided to go into writing to try to help keep myself together. I hope you enjoy it.

To Jess-chan and Ally, to whom have shown the most interest in my little project.

Chapter 1.

“Listen to the wind sweep along the ocean waves.â€

I feel sorry for Sarah -__-.

Good so far ^^

A typo I spotted:

Alexander wrote:Her fair was short and straight

Does this take place before modern times (because they're going to take a ship to America)?

For those of you too lazy to look at the words: http://www.sheezyart.com/view/1539735/

HEAR THE WORDS. FEEL THE WORDS. Cringe at my bad voice. x.x

This looks like it could be a powerful and emotional story, Alec. Keep it up! I want more stuff to record myself reading. =D

Writing is an excellent way to vent emotions and focus on a goal. It is a most interesting start and I am eager to see where this story is going. I was surprised to learn that they weren't already living in America. It was an assumption yes, but I suppose it was based on the seemingly extensive medical resources already at their disposal--something I tend to associate with the US medical system. Perhaps you could mention something about where they live earlier. They are in Europe? Something as small as mentioning the ocean port they are waiting in, should be enough to clue the reader in to their starting location.

I spotted a few typos, but at the moment they are of little concern. However, could you break the next post up into smaller paragraphs? With everything posted in one long running block, I frequently had trouble finding my place when shifting down to the next line. Breaking it up will make it easier to read.

Very good so far; like everyone else, I saw a few typos, and maybe a few errors in word choice, but overall very good.

Interestingly enough, I was picturing someone like Kaya from One Piece as Sarah...not really sure why, but it seemed to fit.