CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

okay guys heres a poem i made please leave some constructive critisism

the love of a rose

as i fall i hear you call my name
calling me over my cries of shame
saying "come to me and you are forgiven"

when i heard those words
i was filled with hope
and cried for joy

i then knew i was loved by
The Rose of Sharon
he took my sins
as his own

he gave me salvation
when i never deserved it
i wish that all people could experience
the joy of the love from the rose

the Great i am.....
my Father
My Savior
and my Friend

who has stuck by me
no matter the danger
of sin and death

he the Rose of Sharon
how beautiful a name as this
i wish that all the people
could hear his sweet name
the Rose of Sharon

thats it please comment

The love of a rose The title immediately draws readers in because they wonder what it means.

as i fall i hear you call my name
calling me over my cries of shame
saying "come to me and you are forgiven" This establishes that it is a religious poem, but still leaves the reader anticipating.

when i heard those words You change tenses from present to past here. Is this intentional?
i was filled with hope
and cried with joy I would change this 'with' to 'for' so that you don't use 'with' twice in close proximity.

i then knew i was loved by
The Rose of Sharon This graces the title, but leaves me wondering the exact meaning of the title. I anticipate finding out if the title is to describe the love the rose has for you, or the love you have for it.
he took my sins
as his own

gave me salvation If you start this stanza as a continuation of the sentence ending the previous one, I would suggest applying some punctuation to the end of the previous. Or, you could give this line a subject and convert it into its own sentence.
when i never deserved it
i wish that all could experience I would change 'all' to 'everyone' or say 'all people' to enhance sentence fluency by making your meaning readily apparent.
the joy of the love from the rose Ah, and here the reader's curiosity is sated.

the Great i am.....
my Father
My Savior
and my Friend

who has stuck by me
no matter the danger
of sin and death Nice ending, but I would suggest adding something that harkens back to your theme of the rose in order to give the composition a more completed feel. I really like your theme.

thank you for that anna mae