I lie here in my coffin

Postby **teen4truth** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 4:19 pm

I am an extremely no0bie poet so all comments, suggestions, and the like are apreciated^^

Oh and by the way I have always been really bad with the whole lie/lay/ly thing and stuff like that so if anyone wishes to correct my grammer that is welcome too lol.

I lie here in my coffin

I lie here in my coffin
Part dead and part alive.
Please come closer to me Lord
So that on you, I may thrive.

I sit here in my prison
Reduced to a gnarled mess.
Please come nearer to me God
So that in you, I may rest.

It is so hard to draw close to you,
And yet Iâ€™ll gather up my strength and try
Because you told me that you would do the same in return
And my heart knows that you cannot lie.

And so I lie here in my coffin
Struggling to see your face.
And though it is hard to see it,
I am covered by your grace.

And so I sit here in my prison
Longing only to hear your voice.
And though I am not sure where tomorrow will lead,
In you I can rejoice.

Greasemonkey Scripts · Postby **SnoringFrog** » Fri Feb 17, 2006 8:38 pm

Very nice. I had no idea you were a writer, t4t.

Postby **creed4** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 8:23 am

It is good

Postby **Sweet Mercury** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 10:38 am

teen4truth wrote:Oh and by the way I have always been really bad with the whole lie/lay/ly thing and stuff like that so if anyone wishes to correct my grammer that is welcome too lol.

Well, I liked the poem, but since you asked, I will clarify lie/lay usage.

According to Patricia T. O'Conner, in her book Woe is I:

lie (to recline): She lies quietly. Last night, she lay quietly. For years, she has lain quietly.
lie (to fib): He lies. Yesterday he lied. Frequently he has lied.
lay (to place): She lays it there. Yesterday she laid it there. Many times she has laid it there. (When lay means "to place," it's always followed by an object, the thing being placed.)

Don't feel bad for being confused, you will notice that even this doesn't include first-person usage. I did find another websight that gave an example of first person usage. I'm still shaky about this, but I think you usage is correct. How confusing is English? Man....

Either way, nice work.

Postby **Anna Mae** » Tue Feb 21, 2006 5:54 pm

I appreciate your message of enduring difficult times but trusting in God anyway.

Postby **teen4truth** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 2:49 pm

>yeah snoring frog, I am a bit of a writer^^ I really only write when ever I am at an emotional extremity or when I feel like God wants me to though.

>thankx creed4

>Man, sweet mercury, you are like, really smart lol!

>thankx anna mae...man when I was writing your name at first I spelt it anime lol!

Postby **Sweet Mercury** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 4:25 pm

teen4truth wrote:>yeah snoring frog, I am a bit of a writer^^ I really only write when ever I am at an emotional extremity or when I feel like God wants me to though.

>thankx creed4

>Man, sweet mercury, you are like, really smart lol!

>thankx anna mae...man when I was writing your name at first I spelt it anime lol!

I try. I'm not sure about the grammar lessons they give in school these days, but by all accounts they are abysmal. You should pick up the book to which I linked above, and if you want something a bit lighter, try Lynne Truss' humorous work, Eats, Shoots & Leaves. It's silly but it's really easy to read and very informative.

Postby **Warrior 4 Jesus** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 4:37 pm

I love this! Its so moving and inspirational.
Not all poems need to rhyme, but yours is very good Teen4Truth!

Postby **Anna Mae** » Sat Mar 11, 2006 9:40 am

Teen4Truth wrote:>thankx anna mae...man when I was writing your name at first I spelt it anime lol!

Well, it is supposed to be a pun, so that's good.

I lie here in my coffin

Poem:I lie here in my coffin

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