Murphy's Laws Of Anime

[MillyFan]

I used to have this (as my first-ever published article) in the now-down Fan Articles section of theotaku.com. It's now posted to my blog (although I can't link to the blog for other content relating to a not-so-good interest of mine ) but for those of you who haven't seen it yet:

Murphy's Law Meets Anime


I'm certain you've heard of Murphy's law (whatever can go wrong, will). Unfortunately, Murphy's Law and anime can sometimes collide. . .

The quality of the video card on your PC is inversely proportionate to whatever you wish to view. A site or spam e-mail you never wanted to see in your life will show up fine, but the card will freeze and crash should you try to view something on which you just blew a large portion of your money. (Law of Woeful Video Cards)

Your interest in a particular anime will often be the exact opposite of what someone in very close proximity to you thinks of it. (Law of Loud Complaint)

If you buy the dub, the sub will be better, and vice versa. (Law of Greener Pastures)

If there is a questionable scene, it will show the second the person *most* likely to be offended by it enters the room. (Law of Total Embarrassment)

Telemarketing calls, emergencies, explosions of dog barking or loud family arguing, and urgent requests for your assistance bailing someone out of a complicated computer problem: all will happen during the last or a major episode of televised anime which you are not recording, and will usually occur right at the most important plot juncture. (Law of Incredibly Bad Timing)

If you establish the case that most anime fans are indeed respectable people on an internet forum, soon enough, a rude 15 year old will arrive and sorely test that statement. (Law Of The Smart-Mouth)

If an anime is too widely popular, it will become a wide franchise, and episodes after that time will no longer be good, but will be mere advertising spots for the products sold. (Law Of Collector's Mania)

Cosplay outfits always look worse on you than you think they do. (Law of Appearance Differential)

If you finally own all the anime you want to own, and a DVD player, and a good TV or PC, you will be burglarized the next week. (Lars Senny's Law)

If you're eating while watching, the most disgusting/goriest scene in the entire series or movie will come up just as you take the last bite of your food. (Law of Ugh)

Usually, the higher the hype, the worse the anime. (Law of Overly Hyped Anime)
(Corollary of I Missed The Boat: If you actually avoid an anime because of the hype surrounding it, it will turn out to be really good.)

If you lend your best DVD to someone, it will come back with a large scratch. (Law Of Loan Scars)

If you decide to record a televised anime in its second run, not all of the episodes will be shown, they will not be shown in order, or they will be edited for advertising time as well as content. (Law of Look, You're Buying The Box Set)

If you publically complain about the incidence of the above law, someone will offer to run you off pirated copies of their DVDs of said series. (Law of Thanks A Heap)
(Corollary of "Federal What?") If you accept, this person will probably be an FBI agent in disguise.

If you openly proclaim yourself an anime fan, prepare to be misunderstood. (Law of That's Not How It Is)

If you have a big-screen TV and DVD player, and anyone within 20 miles is an anime fan also, you will never watch alone. (Law of Hey, Neighbor)

Into every anime, some totally unnecessary fanservice must fall. (Law of How Did They Get THAT Camera Angle)

If an anime is too popular, ADV will make it into a live-action film that looks like cosplay gone horribly wrong. (Law of No! NOOOOO!)

If you have a limited budget and two anime series to choose from, the anime you choose to buy will invariably be the worse of the two. (Law of Why Didn't I Read The Review)

And finally, if you're sitting here and actually reading this, odds are that you have not seen any of it as funny, and you wonder why I even bother writing. (Law of Infectious Ennui)

[uc pseudonym]

Heh. That was pretty funny. Very funny, actually.

[Master Kenzo]

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
That is all so true...that's the sad part.

[Razgriz]

LOL, very nice!

[MillyFan]

Thanks everyone yeah, some of them have happened to me too. Others haven't, yet, and I hope they never do LOL

[shooraijin]

Excellent work. But,

Usually, the higher the hype, the worse the anime. (Law of Overly Hyped Anime)
(Corollary of I Missed The Boat: If you actually avoid an anime because of the hype surrounding it, it will turn out to be really good.)

seems to be endemic of the music business as well ...

[MasterDias]

That's pretty good. I've actually seen a similar thing on the internet somewhere. I might try to find it and post it if anyone's interested.

[Bobtheduck]

Umm... you haven't seen the live action Eva movie yet, I feel the distinct need to remind you... ^_^;

So, yeah... Um.. this is funny and mostly true, but Weta is working on Eva, so I think it may be different..

[MillyFan]

I personally don't care one way or the other on Eva myself. I have a lot of friends online who do though, LOL.

Now, if they even so much as mention turning Cowboy Bebop into live-action. . .

[Bobtheduck]

I saw (faked) pics, and if they made the characters look the way they did in that, it would be fine... The fake pic looked better than the real images from stuff like Flinstones or casper...

Oh, and Lupin is becoming live action... I'll be seeing it... Of course... Just because I have to know...

[shooraijin]

Lupin live might be fun, *if* they have a suitably roguish actor for the title role.

[Bobtheduck]

Lupin live might be fun, *if* they have a suitably roguish actor for the title role.

Oh, and I heard a rumor of a live action Akira too... woe is us...

Anyhow, this thread seems similar to the "YKYWTMAW" and "YKYWTMSMW" documents, but the one i'm looking for is "YKYWTMJSMW" (JSM is Japanese Sailor moon, or perhaps OSM "original sailormoon") anyone know where to find that one?

[Kuroi Inu]

Yea that would SUCK. Anyway, good job, that was hillarious.

[Haibane Shadsie]

Hehehe, funny!

I remember reading online The Laws of Anime Physics.

I'll probably watch the Eva live action movie, just because I loved the anime, but the very prospect has me going "Gggggggr!" I worry about how the Eva units are going to look, bad CG on the Angels, the way those darn plugsuits are going to look, actors getting lame lines, and the fact that most Americans will NOT understand the story and it will probably totally bomb. Anybody know a site with production pictures?

On a Trigun message board, I made up a topic about casting for a live-action Trigun movie. I said that if such a thing were really made, that it would be a total TRAVESTY, just blasphemy to poor Trigun, but the topic was for stupid humor. I think most of us agreed that Kiefer Sutherland should play Knives. Heh.

The only "Live-Action Anime" that's any good... is "The Matrix". Yes, it's not technically an anime, as it's an American movie, but it was filmed to look like anime. The Wachowski brothers are anime freaks and did this with their film on purpose... they were very inspired by anime. I've heard The Matrix called "Anime - but with real people", and that, it is, when you think about it. The Matrix was done well, though, because it wasn't orginally done as an anime - it was done with live actors with consideration of how the costumes were going to look on real live people and all that.

[DanekJovax]

Nice one, Millyfan! I laughed my way all through that Murphy's Law of Anime!

I also like that new avatar! Huntonii KAWAII desuyo!!

Here's another Murphy's Law of Anime, I think:

The amount you desire for buying more anime is always inversely proportional to the available funds to support such an endeavor (The Law of Big Eyes, Small Cash).

[MillyFan]

Nice one, Millyfan! I laughed my way all through that Murphy's Law of Anime!

I also like that new avatar! Huntonii KAWAII desuyo!!

Here's another Murphy's Law of Anime, I think:

The amount you desire for buying more anime is always inversely proportional to the available funds to support such an endeavor (The Law of Big Eyes, Small Cash).

Hey, thanks! I got the avatar from this site (There are three shounen ai W/V gifs on this page, but 98% of the stuff here is of no offense to anyone so I think the link is fine). I like it

Anyway, thanks for the compliment on my writing too, and yes, you've just come up with another one.

By the way, I love that Pirate Anime FAQ site you gave me. It's in my sig now

[DanekJovax]

Hey, thanks! I got the avatar from this site (There are three shounen ai W/V gifs on this page, but 98% of the stuff here is of no offense to anyone so I think the link is fine). I like it

I'll have to check that out sometime and see if I can find anything fun in there. ]Anyway, thanks for the compliment on my writing too, and yes, you've just come up with another one. [/QUOTE]

You're quite welcome! How long have you been coming up with those laws anyways?

By the way, I love that Pirate Anime FAQ site you gave me. It's in my sig now

There isn't an anime site on the 'web that I hang out on that doesn't eventually get my schpeel on pirating/bootlegging and that URL. I'm glad you've found it handy; I may have to ask the webmaster of that FAQ to cut me a commission; I've spread the word of that site so much in the last two years... >;2)

[MillyFan]

[quote="DanekJovax"]I'll have to check that out sometime and see if I can find anything fun in there. ]


If you like Trigun, you'll like that page itself. NOTE how I said itself. Stay away from the site in general's "doujinshi" section. They have some *very* disgusting stuff if you catch my drift.

Oh, I just started thinking of how Murphy's Law and anime intersected more than half a year ago, and then I started writing my observations.

Yeah, I'm trying to get people to link to that Pirated Anime FAQ site in their signatures on here. If anyone wants to do it, PM me and I'll tell you how it can be done.

[DanekJovax]

Ah, I see what you mean about those 'other' icons... hehehe... I guess that leads me to think of another Murphy's Law of Anime:

Invariably, the longer one seeks online to find information on anime, the more likely the discovery of unnecessary, gratuitous expressions of hentai, yaoi, or yuri is to be found where it is least expected. (The Law of Finding Rotten Milk at the Grocer's Dairy)

[DanekJovax]

Oh yeah, I guess one could tie in some of the "You May be an Otaku when..." with a few Murphy's Laws if it's written out correctly.

Here's one:

The time one spends his/her life watching anime is directly proportionate to the amount of japanese one-liners that is used in that person's everyday speech when speaking with others. (The Law of Saru See-Saru Do)

[andyroo]

LOL! All of this is just too good! I've gotta get a big screen t.v. to see what happens.
[edit]if I could afford it...

[MillyFan]

Ah, I see what you mean about those 'other' icons... hehehe... I guess that leads me to think of another Murphy's Law of Anime:

Invariably, the longer one seeks online to find information on anime, the more likely the discovery of unnecessary, gratuitous expressions of hentai, yaoi, or yuri is to be found where it is least expected. (The Law of Finding Rotten Milk at the Grocer's Dairy)

LOL, indeed. That is a rule I've seen a few times, and not one I like, especially in regards to hentai. I hate graphic images like hentai and hardcore yaoi/yuri.

[SPOILER=grr]and they could at least have one Knives/Legato one if they are going to do the shounen ai thing[/SPOILER]

This spoiler does not exist, although I can edit it to a better nonexistence if I must. Please, ban me not.

[DanekJovax]

LOL! I couldn't help myself... ;2}

[Gypsy]

As per Milly's request:

Everytime you hit one of those innocent looking links and get a barrage of nasty pop-ups, you can always hear someone walking towards the computer. Not only is it bad enough that you have horrible porn flashing on your screen, but someone else is never going to understand. (Law of How Fast Can You Click the Little x's?)

[Azier the Swordsman]

[quote="MillyFan"]I used to have this (as my first-ever published article) in the now-down Fan Articles section of theotaku.com. It's now posted to my blog (although I can't link to the blog for other content relating to a not-so-good interest of mine ) but for those of you who haven't seen it yet:

Murphy's Law Meets Anime







If there is a questionable scene, it will show the second the person *most* likely to be offended by it enters the room. (Law of Total Embarrassment)

So true... My mom, who is extra sensitive about things, has some of the WORST timing ever. Thankfully I convinced her to start KNOCKING before entering my room.


Telemarketing calls, emergencies, explosions of dog barking or loud family arguing, and urgent requests for your assistance bailing someone out of a complicated computer problem: all will happen during the last or a major episode of televised anime which you are not recording, and will usually occur right at the most important plot juncture. (Law of Incredibly Bad Timing)

So true, so true.


If you finally own all the anime you want to own, and a DVD player, and a good TV or PC, you will be burglarized the next week. (Lars Senny's Law)

I pray to God this never happens too me...


Usually, the higher the hype, the worse the anime. (Law of Overly Hyped Anime)
(Corollary of I Missed The Boat: If you actually avoid an anime because of the hype surrounding it, it will turn out to be really good.)

This has happened to me many times, unforutnately.


If you lend your best DVD to someone, it will come back with a large scratch. (Law Of Loan Scars)

Hence why I never loan anyone video games or DVD's anymore.


If an anime is too popular, ADV will make it into a live-action film that looks like cosplay gone horribly wrong. (Law of No! NOOOOO!)

Have you heard of the Live action Dragonball movie? Quite frankly I don't see HOW they can't make it anything like the anime unless they severely rip off the Matrix.

[MillyFan]

As for the burglary one, it never happened to me, but it did to an online friend of mine-the thieves that broke into his apartment stole almost his entire collection of anime, including the originals (not the Disney DVDs) of all of the Miyazaki movies-and they stole his stereo and TV too.

LOL, if that happened to me, I think I'd be really annoyed, and I'd probably be pestering the police to find whoever did it. ~.^

[uc pseudonym]

I think the DBZ movie could be pulled off well. I think it will be done horribly. The biggest thing will be how much they let the movie have its own style, and how much they foolishly try to emulate the anime in a different medium. They had better hire a good coreographer.

[DanekJovax]

Another one:

Just when you think that your favorite anime will go down in everyone's history as one of "The Greats", some upstart production company tries to one-up everyone by making a live-action equivalent with the expectation that real actors always can improve on the 'original' (The "Why, God?" Law)

[MillyFan]

Another one for me:

When a person online asks a question like "What's hentai," or "What's a lemon anyway," there will almost inevitably be an "example" posted. (Law of Don't Ask, Please Don't Tell)

[mechana2015]

(corellary of thats not how it is) At one point every male animefan/manga-ka will be accused of watching/drawing anime/manga for the fanservicce oppurtunitys. (law of THATS NOT WHY I WATCH ANIME )