I've written this story over the past few days, and I would appreciate constructive criticism and feedback on it.
Dance of the Stars
The man leaned on the banister, smiling softly to himself. The setting sun behind him cast a red glow over the field in front of him. Glancing down at his watch, he saw that it was approaching night. He looked over his shoulder towards the setting sun. The quarter circle of fire seemed to take up the entire sky behind him, illuminating the land with rays of flame. A voice below him snapped him out of his reverie. “Hey, Jordan! Down here!â€
Dance of the Stars
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Dance of the Stars
My Flickr
My Travel Blog
[color="Red"]Distance is to Love as Wind is to Fire...it extinguishes the small, and ignites the great. - Unknown[/color]
[color="RoyalBlue"]“Falling in love with someone isn't always going to be easy... Anger... tears... laughter.. It's when you want to be together despite it all. That's when you truly love another. I'm sure of it.â€
My Travel Blog
[color="Red"]Distance is to Love as Wind is to Fire...it extinguishes the small, and ignites the great. - Unknown[/color]
[color="RoyalBlue"]“Falling in love with someone isn't always going to be easy... Anger... tears... laughter.. It's when you want to be together despite it all. That's when you truly love another. I'm sure of it.â€
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Destroyer2000 - Posts: 1756
- Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2003 9:00 am
- Location: Fields of Athenry
It's nicely written with excellent description. I'll confess, I'm so used to encountering some sort of conflict in a story that I kept wondering if something was going to happen at the prom. Perhaps because of that it felt more like a small piece of a larger more comprehensive story about the two. But for being what it is, it's pretty well done.
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Esoteric - Posts: 1603
- Joined: Sun Aug 22, 2004 1:12 pm
- Location: The Lost Room.
pretty
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[color=cyan]†[size=84]smile Jesus loves you[/SIZE][/color]
procastinators unite.......................tommorrow
[color=palegreen]So in times when all your hope is gone
And you go through life afraid
In your heart there lies a hopeful song
That is there to guide the way
And all the hurt and all the pain
You soon will learn was not in vain
For all your prayers, they will be heard
They'll come to pass through faith [/color]
[color=palegreen]~When you Believe from Prince of Egypt
[/color]
[color=cyan]†[size=84]smile Jesus loves you[/SIZE][/color]
procastinators unite.......................tommorrow
[color=palegreen]So in times when all your hope is gone
And you go through life afraid
In your heart there lies a hopeful song
That is there to guide the way
And all the hurt and all the pain
You soon will learn was not in vain
For all your prayers, they will be heard
They'll come to pass through faith [/color]
[color=palegreen]~When you Believe from Prince of Egypt
[/color]
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Althaia - Posts: 229
- Joined: Sat Oct 15, 2005 12:00 pm
- Location: is trying to calm herself
Heh. Yeah, my main story that I'm writing is about war, so I have plenty of conflict without adding to any story that sprouts from my romance-drenched mind.
My Flickr
My Travel Blog
[color="Red"]Distance is to Love as Wind is to Fire...it extinguishes the small, and ignites the great. - Unknown[/color]
[color="RoyalBlue"]“Falling in love with someone isn't always going to be easy... Anger... tears... laughter.. It's when you want to be together despite it all. That's when you truly love another. I'm sure of it.â€
My Travel Blog
[color="Red"]Distance is to Love as Wind is to Fire...it extinguishes the small, and ignites the great. - Unknown[/color]
[color="RoyalBlue"]“Falling in love with someone isn't always going to be easy... Anger... tears... laughter.. It's when you want to be together despite it all. That's when you truly love another. I'm sure of it.â€
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Destroyer2000 - Posts: 1756
- Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2003 9:00 am
- Location: Fields of Athenry
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