To be a hero

[Gypsy]

I know that many of our members are in high school, and I guess this topic would be mostly for you. However, it does pertain to everyone really, in any walk of life.

I've been really challenged by one of Superchick's newer songs called "Hero." Here are some snatches of the lyrics:

No one sits with him, he doesn’t fit in
But we feel like we do when we make fun of him
Cause you want to belong do you go along
Cause his pain is the price paid for you to belong

No one talks to her, she feels so alone
She’s in too much pain to survive on her own
The hurt she can’t handle overflows to a knife
She writes on her arm, wants to give up her life

The song is basically painting a picture of people that most of us know, have know, have been, or are. Maybe it was just my past that made this song hit so deeply.

You see, I used to be a very cruel person. I was the one that would grab the Star Trek book out of the "geek's" hand and fling it down the hallway. I was the one that would laugh the loudest when the girl with inch-thick glasses would drop her lunch all over the floor, then had to mop it up while everyone stared and giggled. I was the one picking on the quiet person who never had any friends. I thought I was so cool, and the sad thing is, other people did too.

I would never let myself think too much about what I was doing. I knew I was hurting those people, and I could sense their pain so deeply - so I chose to ignore that voice inside of me that screamed about how wrong I was.

Then one day, God put me through something that changed my life. To make a long story short, because the pivotal circumstance, He gave me the strength to do a 180 almost overnight. I became my own person, and no longer needed to lead, or feel part of the in-crowd. The students that I used to torment, I started to defend. Funny how people would follow me if I was picking on someone, but as soon as I stood up for that person, I was on my own. But I had never felt stronger.

The one instance I remember the clearest was helping the girl with the glasses pick up her papers after someone had punted her folder. When I handed her the stack that I had picked up, I'll never forget how she looked at me. I mean, I could hardly see the poor thing's eyes through those glasses, but I could tell my small gesture had meant the world to her. Just by going against the crowd, I was her hero. Maybe it was the first time that someone other than a teacher had taken her side.

So I continue to be my own person. It's different when you get out of school, but then again it's not so different. Those people that delight in stepping on others to make themselves feel higher also graduate. So do the ones that still have no friends. The same scenario often plays out in college or the work place, only in more "adult" settings.

So what's the point of this huge post? Well, so simply encourage other people that may be a similar situation. Whether you're in school, home-schooled, or in the work force, heroes are still needed. People will always need someone to rise up and take a stand. It may not be actually going against a crowd; it may be simply doing the right thing in a tricky situation. And people are watching, even if we don't see them. The last chorus of the song applies to most of us, whether we're a parent or an older sibling:

No one talks to him about how he lives
He thinks that the choices he makes are just his
Doesn’t know he’s a leader with the way he behaves
And others will follow the choices he’s made
He lives on the edge, he’s old enough to decide
His brother who wants to be him is just nine
He can do what he wants because it’s his right
The choices he makes change a nine year old’s life

Our life is our own, but it also has influence on those around us.

So, in short, although standing strong and going against the flow seems hard, it's going to be worth it. It costs to be a hero to someone, but I don't know anyone who would regret it. If you'd like all of the lyrics, or if you'd like me to pray with you about something, I'm just a PM away.

[TheMelodyMaker]

That's a neat testimony, Gypsy. And who says our Lord can't change people? ^_^

[shooraijin]

Yes -- definitely!

I immediately thought of Kisa from Furuba when I read the post.

[Master Kenzo]

That's an amazing testimony...it's like an entire message rolled into five minutes! (think soup base, just add water! lol)

[Heaven's Cloud]

I love it, great job. I am very glad that you changed, that is very exciting to know. Great testimony!

[vinci]

Yes- an awesome testimony The satifaction of helping someone is way better than the satisfaction of looking down on others and joking about other people, isn't it? Who said God can't work miracles? Here's a great example of one ^^ May God keep directing you in your life, Gypsy.

[cbwing0]

I was also on both sides of the hero/bully dimensions during high school, although I have to say that it is a little different in college, where almost no one knows anyone else at the beginning. My experience is that the problem gets worse. Everyone may care about their friends, but as for the rest, they don't care if they live or die.

[Azier the Swordsman]

I once heard a true story on how such a gesture of kindness led to a girl meeting her best friend... when they graduated years later, he confessed that the day they had met, he was on his way home to commit suicide. Her gesture of friendship saved his life and led him to Christ. I have no idea where to find this story, but if I ever come across it again I'll post it here.

[Haibane Shadsie]

Pheh. I was the one sitting by herself in high school, the freak that everyone made fun of. It was a spillover from grade school. I'm still a loner now. I don't feel quite like I fit in anywhere... online I've fit in, message boards and stuff, but... pheh. I probably deserve it for being so...weird.

I hate rejection, and I fear it, but... I wonder if it's easier for me to go against the tide, just because I tend to be outside of the tide most of the time to begin with.

[Tet-chan]

maybe u should be more open,not too open though

[cbwing0]

I probably would have been the one sitting by himself if I hadn't lived in the same place for my whole life. It's easier to fit in when you've grown up with everyone in your school.

[EireWolf]

Thanks, Gypsy. This is a very good reminder. And thanks for being open and brave enough to tell your story.

Shadsie-- all my best friends are "weird," and I would have it no other way.

[JediSonic]

>all my best friends are "weird," and I would have it no other way.

DITTO! Last year I was in Montessori; my whole class was "weird" XD The other kids didn't give us too much trouble though...

Honestly, I'm always wondering whether I actually wish I were back in the public school system or not

[Will Smith, Jr]

Thanks for the testimony, Gypsy. I think I was the one who was on the dorky/geeky side in high school. Makes me think of something God did for me in high school - I will never forget the kindness of one young lady that affected my life tremendously.

I was a rising sophomore in a summer program and the first couple of days I knew nobody. Being the shy guy, I would eat lunch by myself at the same table every day because it was easier to avoid people (though deep inside I wanted to belong). Then one day as I was going to my usual table, I see this rising senior sitting there. I began wondering "what in the world is she doing at my table?" So I go and sit down across from her and she says to me, "I hope you don't mind me sitting here, I kept seeing you over here eating by yourself and thought you might enjoy some company."

I was floored. Somebody wanted to be around me? Because of this young lady's selfless act, it helped me come out of my shell and become a lot more extroverted than I had ever been in my life up to that point. It also has help me to have more compassion from those who were like me.

Blessings,
WillieDoc

[Mithrandir]

You and me both, Cephas! I was the dorky one. I used to get picked on mainly because I always either was nose down in a book or playing on the computer. I got tired of it, so me and some other dorky kids got together and formed our own 'clique' called the 'out crowd.' We all hung out together at lunch, etc and talked about 'smart' stuff. I learned a great deal from those talks. One of our group was facinated with the idea of table top fusion and tought us lots of cool stuff. I sorta led the computer/technology discussions, and we had a few theology/philosophy type people too. Why do I feel like this post has rambled itself into a corner. I'm just an old geezer who has a story for everything. Hmmm. You know, that would make a good sig.

[JediSonic]

lol.. I think I've heard of something called an "out crowd" before. Same concept, different school I think.

You might say the people I hanged out with last year were an "out crowd" of sorts.. we talked about "smart things" too. I think one time some older (but not smarter) kids came over to make fun of us, but we decided to entertain ourselves by throwing it right back at em

Man, I miss hanging out with friends so much... (at least now I can visit, since it's thanksgiving break!)

[cbwing0]

I think it's best to be somewhere in the middle, since both of the extremes are unhealthy.

That's all moot, now. What matters is not what crap happened to you back then, but how you react now. We have to take responsibility for our actions now and be pro-active.

Don't be so quick to dismiss what you say as meaningless. This is a very good point. Although the past affects you, no one is going to take the time out of their own lives to help you catch up socially with the rest of the world. For that reason, you must act.

[Gypsy]

I'm very, very sorry that some of you guys were hurt. I'm sorry that thoughtless people put you through that. But, Will, your story was excellent. I'm very glad that girl went the extra step for you. It was a small thing, but it made a world of difference for you.

I guess, on behalf of all the thoughtless people that hurt some of you, that I ask you to forgive them for what they did. Because, even though it's in the past, they're still affecting you presently. Learn from what happened, and draw strength from your forced individuality, but let the hurt go. I know that's so easy just to type out, but I really believe it. Those ignorant people can change, just as you can.

And as Will proved, looking out for other people can make such a change - in both people.

[Straylight]

I used to get picked on mainly because I always either was nose down in a book or playing on the computer. I got tired of it, so me and some other dorky kids got together and formed our own 'clique' called the 'out crowd.' We all hung out together at lunch, etc and talked about 'smart' stuff. I learned a great deal from those talks. One of our group was facinated with the idea of table top fusion and tought us lots of cool stuff. I sorta led the computer/technology discussions, and we had a few theology/philosophy type people too. Why do I feel like this post has rambled itself into a corner. I'm just an old geezer who has a story for everything. Hmmm. You know, that would make a good sig.

That's what happened to me as well. The only difference is that the "out crowd" formed quite early on (when we were about 14). By the time the sixth form rolled around, we'd actually become quite an accepted group.

Great thing about university is that everyone is SO different. There are loads of "geeky" people and a huge number of foreign students. Anyone who puts on a pretentious "cool" image tends to find themselves having to adapt to the diversity very quickly.

Great testimony anyway, Gyspy

[Shinja]

i love that song, and the last track on that album <note the sig>, yeah i cant really remember many times when i was put down, i know i was but i forget most of the things that make me upset, i was mostly just ignored, i was always the guy that when i got a seat first( where ever we may have been at the time) everybody else would sit down some where else, even with my youth groups i was with. id mostly eat with the adults, because theyd come sit with me. that doesnt really happen anymore, but im still very much a loner, i guess out of habit.