friend wants new name

[wildpurplechild]

My friend has done some strange things. Nothing bad really, just stuff to be "different", like wearing a fox tail, pointed nails, speaking in a british accent (annoying but not really bad) and other, fairly harmless things. Now she wants to change her name. That too she feels is too common. I don't exactly know why she wants to do this so bad, and it's going to take some getting used to. I told her that it would hard for me to get used to it, and she thinks I just don't understand. It's true I don't. What would you do?

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Why... does she do this?

Wait. How old is she?

[wildpurplechild]

She's 16. Lots of people have her name so I guess she wants something unique? I also wonder why.

[Lynna]

hmm....I guess I sorta understand, I mean, my real name (which is not Lynna by the way) is very. very. rare. So even though people are constantly mispronouncing my name, I love it! But....for those less fortunate....I can understand that having a very simple, common name might get frustrating. for instance, in my school, that are approximaitly 7 Katies/Kaitlynns that I know (and my school is really tiny, so this is really wierd) and I believe they find it frustraiting sometimes because thier names are so common...
I would NEVER go so far as to change my name though...

[wildpurplechild]

Thanks Lynna, yes that's how I feel too. I've always loved my own name, so I don't know what it's like to have a rreally common one. At least the name she wants is her middle name, instead of something crazy, but I don't know that I'll ever get used to it. I think if I called a different name in my head I'd still be thinking "that's not her name". I also wonder if its just a phase. At least she let me call her by her real name for the rest of the week.

[Nate]

She can't legally change her name until she's 18 (unless her parents agree to it). So she's stuck with it for at least two more years and I would bet by that time she'll have forgotten about it/lost interest in it.

Especially because changing your name is expensive. They don't just change names for free at the courthouse y'know. Doing a quick search online I found a site that will give you blank forms for 40 bucks, and if you want the forms already filled out it costs around 80 bucks. Of course this is for online services, real life services probably cost a lot more (lawyers tend to like money).

EDIT: You posted before my response, so I just was going to say, if she wants to be called by her middle name, she doesn't need to change her name legally for that. I had a friend in the Navy who wanted everyone to call him Rob, and that was his middle name. We asked him why he didn't want us to call him Brian (his first name) and his response was, "I want to keep my first name for professional use, and my middle name as my nickname among friends." So no name change is required if that's all she wants, especially since it would cost her money to do otherwise.

[Lynna]

acctually, my litle brother is called by has middle name (NO ONE uses his first name) and it's the same with my dad!

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Wanting to use a different name is cool and all, but... ears? Accent? Kinda... yeah. Can't quite relate.

[Tsukuyomi]

You should try giving her a nickname ^__^

Nicknames are as permanent or as changeable as you like them to be ^^ Like Nate said, name changes are expensive and she's not old enough anyways unless her parents consent to it (as Nate also said) :-?

I'll admit, I don't really like my real name either, but it was the name I was givien when I was born, so that means a lot to me ^__^

If she really does want a new name, tell her to make sure she picks one she really likes and that's not already taken xD;

[Gelka]

I totally agree with lucky. It sounds like your friend doesn't feel unique enough. So maybe a cute nickname? My user name is actually a play of from my real name that my friends like to call me.
Kitty ears and pointed nails. I can totally relate. xDDD As for the British accent...no.

[Lilac#18]

I guess you can get a piece of line paper and write her middle on the whole thing then say it those many times so you can get use to it. I really like my real name (Serena) because of how it's pronounced and the meaning. My name's not that common as it use to be. I kinda like that, but I was kinda disappointed when I couldn't find cups etc. with my name on it when I went to some amusement parks or something.

[Dante]

I'd say good for her! Thank God your friend is who she is, if she did everything everyone else did, then why would she be your friend and not someone else! As long as it isn't hurting anyone, that's just one more adventure you can share together!

[ShiroiHikari]

Sounds like your friend just wants to stand out. It's normal to do silly things in the process of discovering your own identity, but it's also easy to get so caught up in being different that you don't really know who you are anymore.

[Shao Feng-Li]

I'd just think up a nick name and wait for her to grow out of it.

[Etoh*the*Greato]

Sounds like your friend just wants to stand out. It's normal to do silly things in the process of discovering your own identity, but it's also easy to get so caught up in being different that you don't really know who you are anymore.

For the tails and ears, I totally agree. Be her friend, stand with her. Yeah, you probably don't understand (I know I always have a hard time with that type of person) but you can still be her friend. Understanding isn't necessarily required in that case. Just, as Shiroi said, try to encourage her not to become lost in trying so hard to stand out. Individualism can help yuo a lot... up to a point.

As for the name thing, if it's a name she already has I see no big deal. My family has always called me by my middle name (It's a southern thing. None of my fathers' brothers go by their first name), but I've always fought to be called by my first in every environment. I've obviously lost the fight with my family, but that's alright. I can definitely relate to a name other than what you're called feeling more comfortable. To me, I'll always be James. To my family, I'm Patrick.

If she were wanting to change her name legally, as Nate said in his assessment of the situation both before and after you posted, this sounds a lot like a passing fancy and in that case she'd likely have forgotten it by the time she's legally capable.

[wildpurplechild]

Thanks everyone! I'll try the nickname thing, another of our friends already calls her Kyubi.

[Nate]

I kinda like that, but I was kinda disappointed when I couldn't find cups etc. with my name on it when I went to some amusement parks or something.

Bart: Look at all this great stuff, Lis! [finds vanity license plate rack] Cool...personalized plates! "Barclay"..."Barry"..."Bert"..."Bort"? Aw, come on. "Bort"?
Child: Mommy, mommy! Buy me a license plate.
Mother: No. Come along, Bort.
Man: Are you talking to me?
Mother: No, my son is also named Bort.