rocklobster wrote:I didn't really know where to put this, so mods, you can move it if you like.
I saw this in our local free paper. Thought you might like it:
You are cordially invited to A BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION
Guest of Honor: Jesus Christ
Date: Traditionally December 25, but any day will do because he is always around
Time: Whenever you are ready (Please do not be late because you will miss all the fun!)
Place: In your heart. He will meet you there. (You will hear him knocking)
Attire: Come as you are. Grubbies are okay. He will be washing your clothes anyway. He has new white robes and crowns for everyone who stays till the last.
Tickets: Admission is free. He has already paid for everyone. (He says you could not afford it anyway. It cost him everything he had. However, you do need to accept the ticket!)
Refreshments: New wine, special bread, and a special drink he calls "Living Water." A banquet will follow that promises to be out of this world!
Gift suggestions: Your life. He is one of those people who already has everything else. (He is very generous in return, though. Just wait until you see what he has for you!)
Entertainment: Joy, Peace, Truth, Light, LIfe, Love, Real Happiness, Communion with God, Forgiveness, Miracles, Healing, Power, Eternal Life, Contentment, and much more! (All "G" rated, so bring your family and friends!)
RSVP Very Important! He must know ahead so he can reserve a spot for you at the table. Also, he is keeping a list of his friends for future reference. He calls it the "Book of Life." His kids are giving the party! (that is us!) Hope to see you there! Share this invitation with someone today!:hug:
Warrior 4 Jesus (post: 1276382) wrote:Good stuff - apart from the G rated part (that's just stupid).
Warrior 4 Jesus (post: 1276382) wrote:Good stuff - apart from the G rated part (that's just stupid).
Shilohan ninja wrote:I think it sums up God's salvation plan rather nicely.
Jesus' B-Day is that awesome. ^^
No, not really. It's in a noncommercial residential newspaper, probably run by the local community. So basically, this is people printing out pamphlets to hand out to themselves on street corners.ADXC (post: 1276325) wrote:I am also surprised to hear that this was in the newspaper.
I tend to think miracles are more practical than a self-published chain letter.Shilohan ninja (post: 1276396) wrote:The fact that it made it into a paper is a miracle in itself.
Nate (post: 1276412) wrote:Except the part where Jesus was beaten with whips until He bled, had a crown of thorns forcibly placed on his head, and then was hammered to a cross, where he suffered an excruciatingly painful death by suffocation (which is how crucifixion kills you, your lungs get crushed).
Oh wait. Does this destroy the G-rated thing? I guess it must be, that's why Passion of the Christ was rated G and not R.
Except the 25th of December isn't Jesus' birthday but let's not let that stop us.
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