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a posible girlfriend
PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2004 12:07 am
by ssj2gohan61
I would just like to ask if anyone here would find it weird if i was to date a 14 year old and im 17 i have been talking with this girl recently and she is very nices.. and beautiful.. i have been thinking about asking her out with an almost positive yes answer from what i heard from my friends sister who is her friend said she asked about me and she said that i was cute and if i was to ask her out shed say yes.. but im not sure if i want a girlfriend right now well i do but what if i get that phone call from the air force that says we need you to be ready to goto basic training in a few days... i dont know i just want to ask for your prayers to God for guidance on wether or not i should go out with her or not... thank you
PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2004 6:15 pm
by Rogie
I can't really offer any advice, but it sounds like this is something you need to seriously discuss with God. I'll pray that He will give you answers to your questions.
PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2004 11:40 pm
by ssj2gohan61
thanks rogie san thats about all i can do is pray.. i love her so much i went to her softball game and even though she lost it was still all worth going to see her smile
PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2004 12:11 am
by Banana-chan
id say age doesnt matter to me...my friends call me couples expert...if you want to go out with her then ask her...if you dont know yet ponder on it for a while then aske her...just advice. PM me if you want.
-Meeh
PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2004 12:56 am
by TheSeaAndStars
ssj2gohan61,
indeed, i shall pray for your situation. may u have the guidance and wisdom necessary. in all things pray and wait upon the Lord.
here is just a little bit of friendly advice:
there r 3 questions u can ask yourself regarding dating.
1. Will this relationship glorify God?
2. Will this relationship bring the 2 people closer to God or will it hinder spiritual development?
3. Are both people mature and on the same intelectual level?
these questions r just a few things i learned from ppl, experience, and from reading the Bible.
Godbless
PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2004 1:09 am
by Saint Kevin
Not to be a killjoy here gohan, but I don't think that a dating relationship is the best idea for the two of you. I don't believe that a 3 year age difference is usually very significant, but when you are talking about 14 and 17 years old, that is a HUGE maturity gap. Just think back to how mature you were three years ago, and I believe you might know what I'm talking about. This is true for me just between now and when I was 17.
My advice to you is to pursue a friendship with her if you are interested in a more serious relationship, but not to pursue a dating relationship. I say this mostly because of the age of this girl, and because of your own reservations that you've expressed regarding the basic training for the air force that is seems you are already obligated to undergo. If you were to become this girl's boyfriend, and then go and do your basic training, you could be faced with a long-distance relationship, which probably won't work very well. Also, you may expect her to stop dating other guys while you are away at basic or on assignment or whatever. This is really an unrealistic expectation to make of a 14 year old, IMHO.
That's my two sense bro, do with it what you will, but either way, I would exercise a great degree of caution.
PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2004 8:13 am
by Zarn Ishtare
Umm, no offense, SeaandStars, but I've never met a single person who'd think like that. They'd date them, then try to glorify God....or whatever.
PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2004 9:55 am
by ssj2gohan61
well thanks all for your advice..ill continue praying on it though
PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2004 4:08 pm
by Heart of Sword
Is she a Christian?
My parents are 6 years apart but 14 is too young to date, at least one-on-one, but in groups it's a little different. (Maybe. If she's spiritually mature enough. And kissing is certainly not advisable.)
PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2004 5:43 pm
by Rogie
ssj2gohan61 wrote:thanks rogie san thats about all i can do is pray.. i love her so much i went to her softball game and even though she lost it was still all worth going to see her smile
I can really tell that you care about her, and that's great. I'll continue to pray.
PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2004 7:01 pm
by ssj2gohan61
yes she is a christian she has such a good voice when we were at meet me at the cross.. its some church music thing it was awesome! im going to ask her to goto church with me sometime in the future.. my mom just told me that she asked my mom if she minded if we were to start dating.. my mom said she didnt mind
PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2004 11:41 pm
by TheSeaAndStars
Zarn Ishtare wrote:Umm, no offense, SeaandStars, but I've never met a single person who'd think like that. They'd date them, then try to glorify God....or whatever.
Zarn Ishtare,
Our true purpose as Christians is to glorify God in all aspects of our lives. This includes building each other up so that we can all grow closer to God. Maybe I should clarify things a bit....
Example, if a relationship(of any kind) hinders the spiritual development of another, then it is important to evaluate the situation.
Also, if a relationship becomes corrupt, it is displeasing to God and does not give glory to God. We are children of God and we have a responsibility towards each other and,most importantly, to God.
If you want to discuss this topic some more you can pm me if you want. As a brother in Christ, I would gladly share what I know. It is always a good thing to compare notes and pray for each other.
ssj2gohan61,
best wishes and prayers. I'm glad that you seriously thought about the situation and that you asked for prayer and guidance. I will continue to pray for the both of you. Remember, in all things let God be glorified in our lives.
Godbless
PostPosted: Wed Jun 09, 2004 12:26 am
by Aka-chan
I'd say at that age, a one-on-one relationship is probably not the best option. Like Saint Kevin pointed out, during the teen years especially, even a few years' difference can really matter. This is a time in both of your lives where you have a lot of important things going on and you don't want to limit yourselves socially by committing an overly large amount of time to one person, nor do you want to limit yourself spiritually by focusing more on her than on your relationship with God, which is most important.
TheSeaAndStars and Saint Kevin both had really wise advice; this is definitely something you want to pray a lot about before plunging into.