Going down
PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2004 1:45 pm
I don't really feel right asking for prayer here. But well, this is the only place I'ever really ever been able to ask. You see, I've pretty much lost interest in just about everything. Awhile back I was really excited that I was going to be able to see an on line friend of mine. That was a little over a month ago. Since I got back I just haven't been interested in anything. I can't really say I enjoyed myself there - I was bored out of my mind and just felt pushed aside the whole time. Maybe it was the fact that everything was so different from what I excepted. They did their best to make me feel welcomed ... save for the one person I wanted to feel welcomed from. I haven't talked to him since the night before I left. We never said goodbye or anything. I was pretty upset, lets face it. We've been "best friends" for nearly three years now online and never gone very long without talking. I've tried to reach out to another friend of mine. Yes, another online friend. I've been sending him letters instead of email. I just feel more comfortable talking that way. I know he means well in trying to cheer me up. And we've talked about me visiting him since we meet really, four years ago. But I just get brought down on that thought. What if things don't turn out like we hope? What if things turn out like they did in NC? He's really the only friend I have left. The only friend I truely trust. I don't want to ruin that. I know I'm being a bit negative but thats how I've been thinking for the past month. I've been really down and - as I've said before I've lost interest in everything. I've given up on looking for a job. A not so close friend has asked me to move in once they get a job a bit closer and a place to stay. I need to have a job first so I can help with my part of rent. I've also given up on getting my lisence. Without that I can't do anything. I just really don't see the point anymore.
As my last friend would say, I can't let him bring me down to his level. Its a little late for that, I'm already here. So if you please wouldn't mind. Pray for me. I don't really feel right asking for prayer because I haven't been praying in awhile. Thats another thing I've lost interest in. I've lost all interest in God and wanting to do His will. I really need help. So if you will. Thank you.
I would also really appricate if that if anyone would like to talk, please feel free to email me. I'm not sure if I have my settings on my profile to alow that or not so my address is just willowisp15 @ yahoo.com
As my last friend would say, I can't let him bring me down to his level. Its a little late for that, I'm already here. So if you please wouldn't mind. Pray for me. I don't really feel right asking for prayer because I haven't been praying in awhile. Thats another thing I've lost interest in. I've lost all interest in God and wanting to do His will. I really need help. So if you will. Thank you.
I would also really appricate if that if anyone would like to talk, please feel free to email me. I'm not sure if I have my settings on my profile to alow that or not so my address is just willowisp15 @ yahoo.com