I feel really selfish posting a prayer request about something like this when so many other people out there have much bigger problems than I do. It's just that I've been stressed and a little disheartened lately.
I feel like after this summer, my world is either going to fall appart or be really great. I'm not sure how I'll react to all the changes I'm going to face in the comming months.
First off, my mom wants to move across the bay from where I live now (just to let you know how far I'm talking here, it's about 30-45 minutes away from where I live now) and that means I'll need to get a car to get to school in order to finish off my senior year at high school. I'll have to drive across the bay every morning, and while that might sound nice now because of the scenery, it's definitely very different from what I'm used to. Having a car sounds like a good thing also, but I'll need a job to be able to pay insurance on it. Which means I'll probably have to make some sacrifices as far as how much time i can spend at church with my friends. I don't really have a choice in this matter at all, and that upsets me because not only will I not be able to spend as much time with my friends during senior year, but (was working my way up to this) I'll be switching schools again and I'll have to adjust all over to the new school, right after I had adjusted to this one. See, this switching schools thing is really common in my school history. I've in total had to switch schools 10 times during my entire education; 6 times in elementary, then the switch to middle school, and 3 times in high school so far. Next school year, i'll have to switch again and I'm still nervous about doing it. Every time I switch I tend to lock myself up in a bubble and don't let anyone in for a while. So with the changing of schools, moving across the bay, and sacrificing time with my friends at church, I am going to be pretty alone next year.
I've been that way before and I couldn't stand it, I met some really great friends 2 years ago though and they worked on me and converted me into a Christian again. Now though, I may have to say good bye to that support because of all the changes happening and honestly I don't think I'm ready.
Not only that but being as this is my last year of high school and of being a kid pretty much, I am worried about my future. I want to be a graphics designer/3d modeler and work for Pixar or Universal or Disney, but the way things are looking now, I think that will be a path I also have to take alone. The school I want to go to is about 2 hours away from where I live and my friend who has up till now been planning on going to college with me thinks he is going to take a different course and stay a little more local.
I just remember so well back in freshman year when I met my 3 best friends in the world; Brad, Judd, and Kyle and how we wanted to start our own freelance web design company "Caffien Driven Web Design". I remember how real it seemed that our dreams could accomplish such things as we took our first jobs and made some sites for people in our church. Now it just seems like that's all falling appart as Kyle is heading off to Junior College ahead of us, and Brad (the one I wanted to go to college with) and Judd are taking their own paths.
Like I said, I feel really selfish for posting such a request for prayer, but I'm worried and stressed and I just need prayer.