CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

Get ready for a wall of text. Basically Ella and I made 2 really good friends at camp. 1 a girl the other a guy. Well basically I like this girl (who shall remain unnamed). Turns out so does my guy friend I made at camp.

Here's where it gets bad. She likes me back, and he knows it because we figured we would have to tell him. But now he feels that he needs to cut himself off from our "friend who's a girl". Because it will hurt too much to be around her. But they're also really good friends. And our "friend who's a girl" has been hurt A LOT in friendships. She always loses her friends. She's hurting really really bad right now. I convinced him not to stop being her friend yet. But our "friend who's a girl" is not doing well. She has a huge amount of stress from a bunch of other stuff and she's about to lose it.

So I've stopped My "guy friend" from doing this to her yet. But I'm not sure it will last. Please please be praying. It hurts me so much to see them like this. And there's nothing I can do. I've done what I could. I told him to give those feelings to God and that He could help him. I'm just not sure if he's ready to listen...

Praying, bro. I don't feel it's necessary for your guy friend to cut himself off completely, but rather give her some space while still remaining friends. However, that's up to him. I'll be praying everything goes well for all of you.

Thank's. But for the record we've only agreed to be friends. My guy friend just doesn't think he can handle the fact that she doesn't like him back.

We're only gonna be friends for now and God will lead where he may. But I hope that she can keep her friendship with him. I'm not selfish about another guy who likes the girl I like. I'm not shallow like that. He can be a friend to her as long as he wants! I wish he would. I cannot bear to see her hurting like this.

I'll be praying!!! ^^

I'll be praying!!! ^_^

Dangerous stuffs in which we must tread carefully... A prayer for you and your friend of the guy demeanor! I have to admit I can more readilly empathise with how your friend is feeling, having been in his position and not yours, but I don't necessarily sympathise per say. These kinds of feelings can be maddening, but should not allowed to take control, or everyone will get hurt, as we know. I've always stifled my feelings with shadows and masks, so I'm afriad my prayers are the only bit of practical help I can lend. It takes a lot of strength to stand next to someone you have feelings for and behave as if you don't (I've never been able to do it) so be sure to encourage your friend. You know the right path, but it's very difficult to follow. For a bit, anyways. ibpfy!

Thanks guys. TG and I are trying really hard to be Christian about this, and are trying to keep our cool. It's really hard tho, to see your best friends hurting so badly.

We will be praying

Thanks guys. A quick update: Basically he's decided to be her friend. But not to grow close to her at all. So it's better but it's still not very nice for her. The fact the he wants to be a superficial friend doesn't make her feel too much better.

Luckily, TG and I are very good at cheering her up, so today she is feeling better. I hope it stays that way.

Goodness, I'll be praying for you guys.

Friendship is rough sometimes. Every friend i've ever had, male and female, has disappointed me at some point. Growing up i was always interested in the fairer sex, since like the age of 5, so i've had plenty of crushes and dumps. I've gotten a strong impression that females, young females in particular, are very good at being friends and wanting to stay that way.
You may have heard it said "don't date friends". You may have also heard it said "long distance relationships don't work".

Both are not absolutely true. If they were, i would not be married to the woman i am today.

I deeply urge you, at your age, to wait. Not pull back necessarily, but to wait for a sign that this relationship is absolutely what God has designed for you both. I do not believe that your happiness should cost another person their happiness. As things happen to be, this seems to be the case however.

The other young man is your friend, as you've stated, and her friend as well. So while not shunning him is a good thing, i also caution you to be sensitive around him when you and your lady friend are together. No need to be awkward about it, but no reason to create more awkwardness either.

The hardest thing you may face, especially as you and she grow closer in your relationship, may be to share her friendship with another guy, any guy. If she continues to value his friendship, and he continues to value her friendship, this may be a necessity you will continue to face.

How long have they known each other before you met them? Could this be a recent phase of his attraction to her? Has it been going on long for him? You can be certain that whatever he has decided, his emotions may still be contrary to his determination to be superficial friends.

Having been in his shoes, when a guy started courting a girl i already liked, i generally made an attempt to be closer friends with the guy, but this was a decision on my part. If he does not initiate this with you, you may need to exercise the maturity to reach out to him first. Set aside time for the two of you to do things, be friends, build a relationship in a way and context that does not revolve around her. Let your relationship with this young man be distinct, but not exclusive of the others around you.

I sincerely hope that your relationships all around will remain intact and grow in God's love.

God bless,
josh.

Praying!

josh_manga (post: 1422488) wrote:Friendship is rough sometimes. Every friend i've ever had, male and female, has disappointed me at some point. Growing up i was always interested in the fairer sex, since like the age of 5, so i've had plenty of crushes and dumps. I've gotten a strong impression that females, young females in particular, are very good at being friends and wanting to stay that way.
You may have heard it said "don't date friends". You may have also heard it said "long distance relationships don't work".

Both are not absolutely true. If they were, i would not be married to the woman i am today.

I deeply urge you, at your age, to wait. Not pull back necessarily, but to wait for a sign that this relationship is absolutely what God has designed for you both. I do not believe that your happiness should cost another person their happiness. As things happen to be, this seems to be the case however.

The other young man is your friend, as you've stated, and her friend as well. So while not shunning him is a good thing, i also caution you to be sensitive around him when you and your lady friend are together. No need to be awkward about it, but no reason to create more awkwardness either.

The hardest thing you may face, especially as you and she grow closer in your relationship, may be to share her friendship with another guy, any guy. If she continues to value his friendship, and he continues to value her friendship, this may be a necessity you will continue to face.

How long have they known each other before you met them? Could this be a recent phase of his attraction to her? Has it been going on long for him? You can be certain that whatever he has decided, his emotions may still be contrary to his determination to be superficial friends.

Having been in his shoes, when a guy started courting a girl i already liked, i generally made an attempt to be closer friends with the guy, but this was a decision on my part. If he does not initiate this with you, you may need to exercise the maturity to reach out to him first. Set aside time for the two of you to do things, be friends, build a relationship in a way and context that does not revolve around her. Let your relationship with this young man be distinct, but not exclusive of the others around you.

I sincerely hope that your relationships all around will remain intact and grow in God's love.

God bless,
josh.

Exactly. This is exactly how I want things to go. But I just don't want all my other friends to be shut out.

Thanks. ^^