CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

Could you all please pray for her? She needs your prayers in regard to a family situation, a possible career change, and depression. . .

Please especially pray for her talking with a counselor soon, and for her meeting with her boss in making a request to write for the paper she works as a freelance artist for at this time.

I've been praying, but I'll certainly continue to do so. Thanks for letting us know, Milly.

sure thing!

Can do.

Well... thanks... just... pheh... I don't know if my depression will ever go away. Struggled with... myself... all my life and I've been going downhill for years. Just seems like prayer don't work sometimes.

I just found out something about my dad tonight, though.. a few minutes ago... was going to get something from the kitchen... he told me of a time in his life when he was suicidal. (maybe telling my parents of my thoughts of death was not a good idea...) Told me that he couldn't stand to stand before Jesus with all the wounds he took for us (and him personally) and say that he did that with his gift of life... and he hugged me.

But... I didn't tell him that my thinking was: "Well, I'm a failure at everything, anyway... why not that?"

I don't really want to die, though... I just want to... get some sucess that I DON'T screw up for myself as I usually do. Yet... I fear that I'm not able to do that...

Hmmm... I think my dad might be trying to slowly convert me to Mormonism, though. When he and mom go back to their retirement property, he's leaving me a Book of Mormon with some passages marked that he wants me to read. I am worried about reading anything from that, given my current spiritual state (I don't feel too holy or wise right now), but I worry that if I don't give them a read sometime, that he'll be really dissapointed. He says he's not trying to convert me, only to "educate" me... still... I'm a little scared. I still haven't listened to that CD that was sent to me... (SpiritSword sent it, I think). I will before I read anything from the Book of Mormon, though. Still... I worry about getting into any kind of argument with Dad over... this stuff.. he's an old man... I don't want to argue with him.

The family situation MillyFan is talking about is more... financial.. and my psycho, lazy, selfish, greedy brother. (Another thing I have in common with Vash... I have a scary brother who's not "all there").

As for the despression, before anyone goes thinking it's some kind of "spiritual attack"... I regret to inform you... it's ... my life. I've been having self esteem issues since long before I was saved... since I was a little kid... and thinking sometimes it would be nice to die since I was around 11 or so... maybe earlier. I've just kind of... been going downhill ever since, I think.

Shadsie, I will continue to pray for you. What's going on with you is so outside of what you might think. I really believe you have a problem that needs medical help if depression has been bothering you this long. I know everyone wants to put a spiritual label on it, but God, I think, works in so many ways. Possibly all this attention you're getting here on CAA for your depression is God telling you, you have to go outside of yourself. You have to maybe seek medical help and find out if there is a chemical imbalance and what medications you may need. I struggled with deep depression for most of the 90s and found out there was a medical reason for it.

Whatever you do, don't go toward The Book of Mormon. It is, and always has been false. Stick to God's word. I think you know, obviously by what you've said, that it's not a book for you to be reading. Listen to that little voice inside that's telling you what the truth is - because that is probably the Spirit of God.

If you'd like, pm me and I'll share some more stuff with you. I'll keep praying.^_^

I'm praying for you, Shadsie.

I do take a mild medication. Doesn't seem to be working anymore.

i will

I'll be praying.

will pray

will do

I have and will continue to pray for you, Shadsie.

We are all here you buddy. God sends people into our lives to help us through the tough times. Everything has a purpose no matter how bleak it may seem. I've learned that only recently.

Life and love,
Daniel

Um... continue, please? I'm sorry to be selfish... self-centered little female dog that I am... but... I'm not doing too well depression-wise.