I need your help
PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 5:37 pm
three years ago I underwent a terrible trauma at the hands of a girl I thought was my friend. That was the beginning of a spiral downward for me that ended in many more traumatic events and my eventual falling away from God and into darkness without me even realizing I was falling away. For two years I tried to deal with it all by myself and failed. If not for my family realizing that something was terribly wrong last year when I went to vistit them on a vacation from school and work I do not even think that I would have come as far as I have. They prayed and prayed for me, which goes to show how strong the power of prayer truly is.
Today, when I talked to my therapist, he told me that I still have a long way to go in dealing with what happened to me. He told me that I shouldn't blame myself... and that a lot of what happened really had nothing to do with me, but it is still hard to believe that.
Anyways....
I know that it is kind of hard to pray for someone without knowing what specifically is going on. I must, therefore, say that although my spirit is a lot better than it was, I still have a lot to deal with. I have learned that it is important not to lose sight of Christ in the midst of trials and tribulations and I know that mine are not over.
After what I endured, I had a hard time maintaining good, healthy, friendships. Although I have ended many of the unhealthy friendships I had harboured and now have many solid friendships with some GOOD and wonderful Christian people, I am still slowly learning that there remain people in my life who aren't really friends, but people looking to benefit from what THEY see as weakness...
So, here is the current situation:
I moved into an apartment this past January with one of the roommates that I had had before. It was supposed to be her and myself. Then, her boyfriend's dad kicked him and his brother out of the studio apartment that they had been living in together. He came to stay with us for a while. He didn't have a job at the time and still doesn't. The girl, I had helped her to get a job where I work a couple months before we moved. Now, her boyfriend was supposed to only stay there for a short time while he looked for a job and got a place of his own.
Now, it is nearing the end of April and he is still there and he is jobless.
Also, my roommate lost the job I helped her get by stealing a 40 dollar payment that a customer had found on the floor and handed to her.
Neither one of them treat me very well. They are rather condescending.
It is funny because I didn't see it at first.
A few of my friends had come over to see me and later asked me why I let them talk to me the way that they do. I was surprised. I was like, "How do they treat me?"
Then, as I have been regularly going to therapy, I have begun to notice little things.
I recently found out that I can get out of the lease if I get the girl to sign a release form. I don't think she will do it.
The funny thing is that I prayed about it around the same time that I was being considered for a promotion at work. I reminded God in my prayer that I didn't make enough money to move out of the situation and that if it was His will that I get out of it, please help me to find the way.
Since then, one of my Christian friends approached me and asked me if I wanted to stay with her and another friend who are getting an apartment in August. She knows I am moving to Washington in January and said that it would be cool. Also, I got the promotion. Starting this next pay period my check will be reflecting a $1.25 raise.
I really don't know what I should do. I don't know if I should wait until August to see if things go the way the should (The boyfriend getting a job and getting out of my house) and if they don't move in with my Christian friend until January, or if I should just kick them both out....
For one, as I have grown stronger in my faith, the two of them have gotten more and more weird around me. He isn't a Christian at all and she, although she used to be when I first met her, is no longer a practicing Christian at all. Neither one of them understands my drive towards faith at all.
I need your prayers. I need strength and courage and guidance....
ummmm....sorry this post was so long...
Today, when I talked to my therapist, he told me that I still have a long way to go in dealing with what happened to me. He told me that I shouldn't blame myself... and that a lot of what happened really had nothing to do with me, but it is still hard to believe that.
Anyways....
I know that it is kind of hard to pray for someone without knowing what specifically is going on. I must, therefore, say that although my spirit is a lot better than it was, I still have a lot to deal with. I have learned that it is important not to lose sight of Christ in the midst of trials and tribulations and I know that mine are not over.
After what I endured, I had a hard time maintaining good, healthy, friendships. Although I have ended many of the unhealthy friendships I had harboured and now have many solid friendships with some GOOD and wonderful Christian people, I am still slowly learning that there remain people in my life who aren't really friends, but people looking to benefit from what THEY see as weakness...
So, here is the current situation:
I moved into an apartment this past January with one of the roommates that I had had before. It was supposed to be her and myself. Then, her boyfriend's dad kicked him and his brother out of the studio apartment that they had been living in together. He came to stay with us for a while. He didn't have a job at the time and still doesn't. The girl, I had helped her to get a job where I work a couple months before we moved. Now, her boyfriend was supposed to only stay there for a short time while he looked for a job and got a place of his own.
Now, it is nearing the end of April and he is still there and he is jobless.
Also, my roommate lost the job I helped her get by stealing a 40 dollar payment that a customer had found on the floor and handed to her.
Neither one of them treat me very well. They are rather condescending.
It is funny because I didn't see it at first.
A few of my friends had come over to see me and later asked me why I let them talk to me the way that they do. I was surprised. I was like, "How do they treat me?"
Then, as I have been regularly going to therapy, I have begun to notice little things.
I recently found out that I can get out of the lease if I get the girl to sign a release form. I don't think she will do it.
The funny thing is that I prayed about it around the same time that I was being considered for a promotion at work. I reminded God in my prayer that I didn't make enough money to move out of the situation and that if it was His will that I get out of it, please help me to find the way.
Since then, one of my Christian friends approached me and asked me if I wanted to stay with her and another friend who are getting an apartment in August. She knows I am moving to Washington in January and said that it would be cool. Also, I got the promotion. Starting this next pay period my check will be reflecting a $1.25 raise.
I really don't know what I should do. I don't know if I should wait until August to see if things go the way the should (The boyfriend getting a job and getting out of my house) and if they don't move in with my Christian friend until January, or if I should just kick them both out....
For one, as I have grown stronger in my faith, the two of them have gotten more and more weird around me. He isn't a Christian at all and she, although she used to be when I first met her, is no longer a practicing Christian at all. Neither one of them understands my drive towards faith at all.
I need your prayers. I need strength and courage and guidance....
ummmm....sorry this post was so long...
