Please don't hate me for this....;-;

Website · Postby **bakura_fan** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 7:01 pm

I've decided to come out in the open about this....*gulp* I've been having lots of problems lately...and..I've let my friends post prayer requests for me....well..this time..I figured I should for once stand up for myself and post. Almost 2 hours ago...I almost commited suicide..I'm not going to say how...I'll just say that with all the stress I'm under....It looked like the best way out. I'm thankful though that I was able to kep myself from doing so near the last minutes....*sigh*

Postby **Swordguy** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 7:03 pm

i will defantly pray. and i don't think any of us would hate you for that. Go to GOd, Let Him work.

Postby **shooraijin** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 7:04 pm

What did you realize that made you stop?

One thing that I always remembered, even when I felt low, was that suicidality could never accomplish its aims. How can you be released from pain if you're dead?

Do others know?

Postby **Aka-chan** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 7:05 pm

bakura_fan, just remember that you will always be loved, and I for one would miss you terribly should anything happen! I thank God you're still with us and will pray for you. :hug:

Postby **Jaltus-bot** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 7:07 pm

Thank God you're ok. I will pray for you.

Website · Postby **bakura_fan** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 7:11 pm

eep! so many people! x_x

uhm..to answer Shoorajin's first question..uhm...I think just the realization that what I was about to do would cause more problems then it would solve..and there was allways the chance that it might not work and I'd have to face the one's closest to me and tell them why I did that....

and second question....only 2 of my close friends do...my parents don't know..and they don't need to know...

Postby **PrincessZelda** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 7:13 pm

Well, I will pray for you. Just, everytime you think about it, think about It's a Wonderful Life ^_^

Postby **shooraijin** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 7:17 pm

What would help you, do you think?

At least you have something to seize on the next time the feeling comes, because it will come back again, and you'll have to grapple with it then too. I'm glad you were able to realize that suicide doesn't make sense, even if you felt driven towards it and no other solution seemed obvious.

What's the thing you believe most might make things better?

Postby **V8Tsunami** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 7:19 pm

Aka-chan wrote:I thank God you're still with us and will pray for you.

You're very brave for admitting that. I'll pray for you. Stay strong and never give up. Things will turn around for you if you keep praying and keep your faith in God. I've been through some times where I thought things wouldn't turn around, but my prayers got answered. Hang in there.
:hug:

Postby **EireWolf** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 7:25 pm

Suicide is a permanent (and very bad) solution to a temporary problem. I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time that you would consider this. But I'm very glad you decided not to go through with it. *whew* Very glad. I don't really know you, but my heart clenches up every time I hear about someone who is considering ending their life before realizing how awesome life can be.

On a side note... please consider telling your parents. I'm sure they love you and will want to do anything they can to help. If you're depressed, they can help you find help, but they won't know you need help if you don't ask for it. There's no shame in going to a professional, or in getting medication if you need it.

Bakura_fan -- I'm glad you came out and admitted this. Sometimes talking about it can really help. And prayer definitely helps. I will be praying for you, and I know a lot of other people will be too.

Website · Postby **bakura_fan** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 7:41 pm

shooraijin wrote:What would help you, do you think?

At least you have something to seize on the next time the feeling comes, because it will come back again, and you'll have to grapple with it then too. I'm glad you were able to realize that suicide doesn't make sense, even if you felt driven towards it and no other solution seemed obvious.

What's the thing you believe most might make things better?

uhm...not sure....I know I thought about my boyfriend and my best friend and how they'd feel...I really didn't think about peopole on caa...I really don't consider myself a person important enough to worry about...but...that's a reeeeeeeeeeeeeeealy long story....v_v

and...I don't understand that last question....

Postby **Jaltus-bot** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 7:47 pm

I may not know the story, but it breaks my heart to think that you might actually have come near to killing yourself. :sniffle:

Website · Postby **bakura_fan** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 7:48 pm

uhm eirewolf...my parents were kind of the whole reason I wanted to commit suicide...I just feel lots of pressure is all...*sigh* don't really need to get into details...

Website · Postby **bakura_fan** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 7:49 pm

I never should have said anything.....
I worried too many people.......
I'm sorry....

Postby **Jaltus-bot** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 7:53 pm

No, it's good you did. We just love you and care about what happens to you. I'm sure that anyone here would rather pray for you than have something bad happen to you. We don't like people we care about hurting, whether we know about what they are going through or not. I'm glad you posted because I would rather be able to pray for you and it helps when we know that someone is in need of prayer. If there is anything that we can do, even just by praying that is good because it is something that we can do for someone that we care about.

Postby **true_noir_chloe** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 8:09 pm

Bakura, I am so thankful you did not commit suicide. It is final. There is no way you can grow any closer to the Lord, no way you can grow as a person, no more life that God has given you to enjoy Him in and others can enjoy you in.

It sounds like things are difficult at your home. I will definitely be praying for you. I mean, I don't even talk to you much on this forum, but reading that you would consider this, hurting yourself like this, makes me want to cry. You are so loved by the Lord.

Bakura, you are the most precious thing. *BIG HUG*

Please, pm me anytime if you'd like to talk. I will always be around to talk to you.

Postby **Golden_Griff** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 8:17 pm

Thank you Lord *feels relieved to know Bakura_fan is ok*

Bakura_fan I don't know what you're going through but I pray that God gives you comfort and bring you through this storm. Hang in there.

Postby **Mave** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 8:36 pm

You have my prayers. Turn your eyes on Jesus whenever everything seems hopeless. He knows how it's like to go through all forms of pain and suffering. He understands. That's why we will go to Him about this matter. I shall pray for comfort, peace and guidance to be upon you whenever you need it, sister. May He lead you towards a peaceful resolution and refresh your soul.

Website · Postby **bakura_fan** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 9:05 pm

I...I guess I wasn't sure about posting..because..I din't want to dissappoint any of you....I mean....*sigh* I hate dissapointing people...

Postby **dragonshimmer** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 9:10 pm

Honey, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. If you get like that again and you're by yourself...call a friend....go outside....do something that is positive and makes you happy. Try not to be alone, okay?

I know life gets really tough....and you'll have those bumps every now and then. Just hang in there, okay, sweetie? We are ALL here for you, and you are in all of our thoughts and prayers.

Postby **Jaltus-bot** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 9:19 pm

We all feel that way about disappointing people sometimes. Please don't let yourself get disappointed either. You really do deserve so much. Take care of yourself too, K? :hug:

Website · Postby **bakura_fan** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 9:55 pm

thanks for the support guys...I didn't know so many people acknowledged me on here....<_< >_> It feels kind of weird...

Postby **Aka-chan** » Sat Oct 23, 2004 12:31 am

The people here are worried because they care, so don't feel bad about it. We're glad that you can share this with us so that we can pray for you and do our best to help. We all have our trials and weak points, so don't worry about disappointing people. God gave us each other as family in him so that we could support each other at times like this. *hug*

Postby **c.t.,girl** » Sat Oct 23, 2004 2:29 am

when i was in sixth grade(i'm a junior now in hs) i tried to kill myself. i tried strangling myself. what made me stop was when i told my best friend. she told me that if i died she would have nothing to live for, she would be devastated. she saved me. now she's gone from God and i'm trying to save her, but it's not working.

i'll pray for you.

Postby **Dragon Master** » Sat Oct 23, 2004 6:52 am

Bakura Fan, we all love you here and couldn't stand to loose you, I know somebody that almost killed himself he could have but he didn't and i'm glad he didn't. I may not know you in person but every life is precious to God. I'll pray that he helps you through it. Heres a few verses you've probably heard tons of times but ones you might want to think about if you ever think about suicide again.
Genesis 1:27;1:31
So God created man in his own image , in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God saw all that he had made and it was very good.
See you were created in God's image and when he looked at what he had created on the 6th day he didn't think it was just good he thought it was Very Good. And in a section of my bible that says "lets live it" part of it says God loves you very much because you are his child and his one of a kind special creation, made in his own image. Another verse that i'm sure you've heard before if you go to church is
Psalm 23:4;6
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
I'll keep you in my prayers.

Postby **Fsiphskilm** » Sat Oct 23, 2004 7:47 am

*confused*

Postby **AngelSakura** » Sat Oct 23, 2004 9:02 am

Oh, Bakura-chan... *hugs* Don't even think about something like that. You matter to so many people, including me, your friends and your family. I'll definately pray for you. Please, consider all you have to live for, and know it can and will get better with the Lord.

Postby **Erin** » Sat Oct 23, 2004 9:34 am

My sister is goig through a REALY hard time right now to...she's your age and I know she's been thinking a lot about how she doesn't want to be on this earth any more and it kills me every day to wake up and wonder if she's going to be ok cause I love her soo much I mean for the past seversl years all we did was fight but now she's like my best friend and the thought of losing her kills me every day*cries*

I actually am having a lot of trouble with my mom as well there are often times when I wonder if she's ever loved me...you don't know how many times I have thought about suicide but every time I just end up thinking of how much I love my friends and how it would efect them cause I don't want to ever do anything that would cause them pain and i just tell myself that it has to get better eventually so I just have to take every day at a time=( But once I get back on track with my school I'm moving out and in with my dad(my parents are devorsed) then everything else will fall into place so I just got to get out of this house there's nothing here for me but pain and missery=(

I don't realy know you but I'll be praying for you cause you don't realy have to know somone to love them and I know it's realy hard and it just feels like there's nothing in this life worth living for anymore somtimes but just try to remember that God can and will turn things out how he has planned not how anybody else has planned. Feel free to e-mail me or PM me when ever you need somone to talk to.

Website · Postby **bakura_fan** » Sat Oct 23, 2004 9:45 am

o_O wow...I really didn't expect this kind of response......The reason I had first wanted to commit suicide was because I never felt that I could please my parents...then even though I have two very good friends up here...I still felt like I was worthless and nothing mettered...and third...I felt I could no longer handle the stress of college and all that was being put onto me...things I didn't want to do....doing my best at grades but getting yelled it for even getting any C's...*sigh* Stupid Abnormal Psychology....at least I'm doing ok in Biology and Criminal Justice...

I have to get an essay done and a test done today in abnormal psych. *online* then I have to study for my midterm in abnormal psychology and a test in biology *mon* then I have an evening class from 6:30-9:30 in Criminal Justice...then the next morning *9:30-3:30* I have a biology lab test and a midterm....x_x so....much..to..do....*feels hopeless* and if I get anything less then an 80% my parents will be very upset...because suposidly it shows that I did not study hard enough..therefore I will need to be punished...most likly CAA will be taken away from me again.... I wish I had someone to study with.....=_= sorry....you probabbly didn't need to know all that....

oh...and I'm an only child....My mom and dad were married for 19 years before they had me...If I remember correctly my mom had 5 miscarraiges before me....and then I was born 5 weeks early.....*sweatdrop* sorry..probably even more information then you wanted...

I also mentioned in another forum that my name's Tiffany....but...I still like my nickname Teej much better. ^_^

boy...what a reputation I have now...v_v

Postby **Dragon Master** » Sat Oct 23, 2004 9:49 am

Please don't hate me for this....;-;

Please don't hate me for this....;-;

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