Prayer Request

Postby **MorwenLaicoriel** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 5:22 pm

Hey all. I don't post here much, but a friend of mine suggested that I'd post a prayer request.

I have a guy that I like a lot. He's very sweet and caring, and no matter what I've done in the past he cares about me. I love him. Not as a friend, but romantically. The thing is...he's not a Christian.

I'm already determind not to marry him if he doesn't become a Christian. And truthfully, I'm totally against missionary dating. But at the same time, I don't want him to hate Christianty because that's what has caused me to push away...nor do I want him to convert simply because I want him to, because I know that he wouldn't be sincere.

So...well...that's it, I guess. I guess I just need wisdom to know what to do, and whether or not I should back away from him.

Thanks, everyone.

Postby **c.t.,girl** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 5:29 pm

i'll pray. i know what you're going through.

Postby **antefurem** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 5:34 pm

Well... I've never been in a relationship before... so, really, the least I can do for you is pray for you, and the most I can do is tell you to be praying!

Just... know that we're behind you, as sisters and brothers in Christ. ^__^

(Frankly, I'm against "missionary dating", too...)

Postby **Arbre** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 5:38 pm

I can empathize with how you're feeling because I used to be in a similar situation, but the religions involved were different (he's Christian and I used to be Mormon). I'm really sorry I don't know what to say to you, but I will be praying for you and the situation.

Postby **Bunny** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 5:40 pm

Hey, girl! I'll definitely pray for you.
I'm really not good with romantical stuff or anything but I really think backing away from him would do more damage than good. Just make it clear that you love him but you put Jesus first and whatever happens after that, you just have to pray. All you can do is make a stand for Christ and try your very best not to push him away but not to lead him on at the same time. It's tricky, I know, but you just have to pray for sensitivity and ask God not to let you mess up this fellow's chance at salvation.

Postby **CobaltAngel** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 5:41 pm

Tough one. O_O;;; I'll pray. Maybe if you show him how Christ has impacted your life, he'll want to be a part of that too.

Postby **Little T-chan** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 5:46 pm

I'll pray for you too, Morwen Laicoriel!!!! Love is so important so anything for the sake of love!!!!!!!! ::determined:: Stay strong!!! Okay?! God is here for you!!! And remember, whatever happens--I'm sure God has a purpose for it. <3

Postby **MorwenLaicoriel** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 5:55 pm

^_^ Thanks, everyone!

Postby **shooraijin** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 6:49 pm

Well, you said it yourself ... missionary dating is definitely a bad idea.

I wouldn't worry about his rejecting Christ simply because you know a relationship between you and him, unequally yoked as you are, would be poorly grounded. You can't help that: you both would be making a terrible mistake to try to form a committed bond on such uneven ground.

One of my devotional books made an interesting point. We all know the story of the sower where some of his seed landed on fruitful ground, and some on rocky turf, and others among thorns, and so on, and we all know that some people are more receptive to God's call than others. But the story also tells us that it's not the sower who has any control over where the seed lands. You communicated to this guy best as you could Christ's love, and that's where your responsibilities end. After that, the message does the work.

I'm glad you recognized the problems and acted appropriately on them

and I will keep you and him in prayer.

Postby **SManBeyond** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 9:32 pm

In regards to you being romantically attracted to him and wondering what to do...normally, I'd give some suggestions, but there's a great Boundless article about the problems with missionary dating that you can read here. It offers some excellent suggestions for how you can deal with the situation.

Here's something else to consider. I know a great woman of God in my church who dated a non-Christian at one point before being convicted and breaking up with him (and yes, she eventually married a great Christian man). She told me that from her experience, a non-Christian CANNOT love you as much as a Christian can. The reason being that the Christian wants what's best for you in Christ (i.e. he's concerned about your relationship with Christ primarily), while the non-Christian cannot do that because he has no relationship in the first place. It also means that you don't have the greatest factor in common with the non-Christian either.

In regards to being concerned that this person will reject Christ if you back off from him, I wouldn't worry about that. It is far better to back off and show the guy that your love for Christ far exceeds your love for anything or anyone else (thus being a great testimony to him) rather than compromise on your relationship with Christ and thus being an ineffective testimony (which could very well make him cynical about Christianity).

Just to let you know, I know how you feel. I've had to deal with this issue as well recently. I know doing what's right is hard, but nothing is impossible with Christ. I will be praying for you.

Postby **Roll** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 11:40 pm

Such a heart-wrenching predicament.... Your situation sounds all too similar to mine. The best thing you can do at this point is pray, pray, and pray some more...pray that the Lord will grant you the perspective, the strength, the answers...whatever you need to be there for this guy...or in the very least that you won't end up driving him further away from accepting Christ. I will be praying for you too.

Postby **Swordguy** » Sat Sep 18, 2004 12:17 am

i will pray for you

2 Corinthians 6
14Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15What harmony is there between Christ and Belial[2] ? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people."[

Postby **Staci** » Sat Sep 18, 2004 6:24 am

Just keep on praying, sweetie! We'll pray with you. *~_~* *hugs*

Postby **cbwing0** » Sat Sep 18, 2004 8:14 am

Relationships are hard enough to sustain when the two people involved agree on the fundamental questions in life, but it is much harder when there is disagreement. The last thing you want to do is spend your time arguing over those things.

As Swordguy pointed out, the Bible is clear that Christians should not be "unequally yolked" with nonbelievers (and I am glad to see that you accept this doctrine, Morwen).

I agree with what has already been said about sharing the gospel (both in terms of doctrine, and in living a blameless life). If he does not accept this, then there is really nothing that you can do for him.

I will pray for you, and for all those in a similar situation.

Postby **MorwenLaicoriel** » Sat Sep 18, 2004 10:55 am

Thank you for praying, everyone.

....Lastnight he figured out what was wrong and asked me about it. I wouldn't tell him at first, but eventually he insisted that I'd be honest...so...

He's really angry not now...not with me, but with himself. He keeps talking about how he knew love didn't exist anyway. Please pray for him. I don't really care about myself, but...I don't want him to give up like this.

Postby **Destroyer2000** » Sat Sep 18, 2004 8:29 pm

Do not stress yourself over this. I do not mean to scorn your situation, but you are 16. Somehow I find that unless it is a rare situation, that the feelings you say you have is infatuation, not love. Teenage girls and boys tend to be driven by a desire to be in a romantic relationship...and hormones. I would just let it go. Try and convert him to Christ, but until you are older, I would consider rethinking the feelings you have for him. I am not saying that you do not love him, but that it might not be real love, the kind that a husband and wife have for each other.

Postby **true_noir_chloe** » Sat Sep 18, 2004 9:04 pm

I will definitely pray for you, Morwen. ^__^

When I was around your age, probably 15, I broke up with the boy I was dating because I was a new believer and he wasn't a Christian. He then said he became a Christian too. I told him that was great, but it was best for him to grow in the Lord, not because of me, but because of the Lord. So, I never saw him again.

Sometimes it's best to leave these things up to God. Trust Him to help your friend.

I'll remember to pray for you.

Postby **Spiritsword** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 7:32 pm

I will pray.

Postby **Rogie** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 6:05 pm

I'll pray.

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