Me...

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Me...

Postby LillyAngel » Thu Sep 04, 2003 10:53 pm

[/color] :?: I feel really self-ish doing this, but I know God has been meaning for me to ask for help. This is probably going to sound terrible, I know, but I have been threatining my own life in the past few days. My mom thinks its just a phase, and I'll get through it, but I think I need more than time too heal this. I have been saying aweful things such as: "If she was, I'd jump out a window" or "I'm going to go jump off a cliff now, I'll c'ya in Heaven" or my usual one- "I'm going to go bang my head against the wall and count how many brain-cells I loose." :bang: I need God's help to get over this. I know that I can do nothing on my own, and I do things because God has planned it that way, but I know that He dosen't want me to be saying such things anymore. I know why I say these things, but my mom refuses to sell my little brother to the Zoo. I have also thought about running away, and never comming back, and saying I'm looking for my birth-mother. I have also been wondering about my birth-mother lately. I am adopted and don't really know much of my birth-parents. I have ofter wondered if they are alright, but it seems as if I can't do something with out relating it to Romania (my birth-country) , my birth-parents, or the fact of being adopted. I know its supposedly a 'blessing' to be adopted, but sometimes I wonder if I'm where I'm suppsoed to be. I also question the authority of my parents, and their purpose. I am pretty sure I could live on my own, but I would not try just quite yet because of my parents. THey're so protective about everything. I had to tell them what this web-site was, and the founder(s) just to post this! well... It's late, and I have school in the morning.

TYVM, (Thank You Very Much)
Liana[/color][/color]
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Postby shooraijin » Fri Sep 05, 2003 3:36 am

You have an awful lot going through your mind!
I'll pray God gives you extra guidance to see what path He has in mind ... but He may not give you an answer yet, until He thinks you're ready to hear it.
"you're a doctor.... and 27 years.... so...doctor + 27 years = HATORI SOHMA" - RoyalWing, when I was 27
"Al hail the forum editting Shooby! His vibes are law!" - Osaka-chan

I could still be champ, but I'd feel bad taking it away from one of the younger guys. - George Foreman
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Postby Razgriz » Fri Sep 05, 2003 8:15 am

God will guide you through, don't worry. Also, don't feel selfish about it, we all need a little helping hand sometimes, and always remember that the people of this forum are here if you ever need to talk. I'll be praying.
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Postby Rashiir » Fri Sep 05, 2003 5:43 pm

Alright, will do.
"Be joyful always." - 1 Thes 5:16
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Postby Michael » Fri Sep 05, 2003 6:48 pm

Wow, that sounds a lot like the things I say.
I'll pray for you.
[font="Times New Roman"][SIZE="4"]S.D.G.[/SIZE][/font]
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Postby Spiritsword » Sat Sep 06, 2003 3:51 pm

I will pray for you, Liana. Trust in the Lord, His will in your life will be done.
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Postby LillyAngel » Tue Sep 09, 2003 9:38 am

I think all of your prayrs have helped, but I am still very anti-social. My parents worry about me too much, and I feel like its my fault, wel... It is... But, I just want them to leave me alone. I think they worry because I hang with "bad" kids. I hang with them because I want them to see the way I act, and learn that it is God working through me, but my parents don't understand. I want to bring my friends to Christ, most of us are punks and look like goth's. I think that if I can bring them to Christ, we could be wittnesses to all the people like us in our town. Please pray for my parents to stay off my case...
TYVM,
Liana
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Postby Razgriz » Tue Sep 09, 2003 9:49 am

You should probably have a talk with your parents about it, if you feel that you're guided by the Lord, I'm sure they'll understand, and I'll be praying.
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Postby shooraijin » Tue Sep 09, 2003 11:40 am

> I think all of your prayrs have helped, but I am still very anti-social.

Anti-social, or just needing space? I definitely need time away from people regularly, and those are the days I'm glad to have an apartment to myself. I like hanging out with friends, but I have to recharge my own batteries, as well.

And certainly, with other emotional strains to deal with, I think your mental vitality would get sapped faster than ordinarily, nee?
"you're a doctor.... and 27 years.... so...doctor + 27 years = HATORI SOHMA" - RoyalWing, when I was 27
"Al hail the forum editting Shooby! His vibes are law!" - Osaka-chan

I could still be champ, but I'd feel bad taking it away from one of the younger guys. - George Foreman
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Wed Sep 17, 2003 9:56 am

I will pray for you, and have. Please pm me if you want to talk about this further. Realize, God is so much more than we fathom and so much closer than we realize. He is always here. Your parents, sound like they are acting like parents; but, who are much older than you. We parents some times don't realize the age gap. :shake:

I'm a very easy-going mom to my teens. I know that if they are believers and have, hopefully, been taught correctly by me about who God is and the Bible they will move in the right direction. This is because I have complete faith in My Lord, Who is also theirs. I hope your parents realize this. I really, truly understand their concern, from a mom's perspective. I also understand yours, from a person who is surrounded by teens 24/7. :poke:

Keep praying and reading the Bible - He always answers and speaks to us through His Word. :)

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

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