Lost

[MrKrillz0r]

Hey I'm feeling really bad right now.
The reason is that yesterday I was listening to some christian rap, it was about a dude who talked with his friend over the phone, they were both christian but one of them thought he was saved just because he went to church and stuff.. and in the end of the song he found out it was much more, that you needed to put down you're life completely and follow Christ. Anyway after I heard it I felt like I wanted to change myself too, I wanted to become a better person.. So I prayed to Jesus and said I wanted to put my life completely in his hands, which I've done before too. But right after I prayed a terrible feeling came up inside of me, like I've done something so sick and I ran out and cried. Since then I've felt so terrible and far away from Jesus and I'm thinking that I might commited the unforgivable sin. I feel like I can't even pray because I don't want to do something even worse and that if Jesus can't forgive me anymore for what I've done I should not pray to him because I'm not worthy. All these bible verses just keep popping up in my head like "when the salt loses its *saltyness* its no longer to any use and will be thrown in the fire" (I read the swedish bible I hope you get what verse I mean.) and "There is only one unforgivable sin and it is to blaspheme the Holy Spirit." I feel like I've done something so terrible because I asked Jesus to completly rule over my life again after I already asked him too in the past. I only wanted to change even more than I've done and become a better person but now.. Sorry to bother you but I have no one to talk to about this, because I just feel like I cannot about this with my dad.

[Beau Soir]

I looked this up for you, I hope it helps:

http://www.gotquestions.org/unpardonable-sin.html

I think that God is already making Himself known in this situation by having put this on your heart. If anything, please don't stop praying. God's guidance, direction, and truth are the most important.
If you've already asked Him to rule over your life in the past, it probably isn't that you were insincere then, but straying from Him and His word happens when we try to take control of our own lives. That would be why every day, we must be living sacrifices- dying to ourselves, our own will, and our worldly desires so that God can reign and work through us.

Luke 9:23-24: Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.

I'll pray for you, too.

[Aedin]

I know exactly what you mean man. I want to change, and be better. But sometimes, I feel worse when I pray, or think about God, or try to read Christian books to help me understand and change. The only advice I have, is there will always be up and down periods. You just gotta try your best to keep going. Something a few people have told me though, is if you feel really bad after you've like, decided to make a new commitment to Christ or whatever, it may just be Satan trying to pull you back, trying to prevent you from healing and getting better and improving your relationship with God. So if you pray, and things get worse after, it's probably just Satan attacking you.

I can promise you you haven't commited the unforgivable sin. I had a friend who struggled with that for a long time, she still does. So I did some research on it. There is only one instance of the unforgivable sin in the Bible. It was when Jesus drove demons out of people, and the Pharisees accused Jesus of using Satan's power to drive out the demons. The unforgivable sin, is, basically, knowing, for a fact, that Jesus or the Holy Spirit is doing something, and claiming it's Satan instead. It's not wondering if Jesus or the Holy Spirit is doing something, and thet thinking your'e wrong, thinking maybe it's Satan. It's only when you fully know the Holy Spirit has done something, and with that knowledge, you claim it's Satan instead. I hope I made sense. if I didn't, let me know, and I'll try to explain it better.

Also, asking Jesus to take over your life, after you already have, is not a bad thing. It actually makes Jesus happier. He knows we screw up, a ton. He'd rather have us ask him to take over our lives, again and again and again, rather than just not reach out to him at all, ya know? Everything that's been making you feel bad (from what I've read in your post) is just Satan trying to lead you astray, trying to make you feel hopeless and worthless. But that's not true. Some people would say, the fact that Satan is trying so hard to make you feel so bad, is just more proof of how much you mean to God and Jesus. Because (to simplify what you said) if you meant nothing to Jesus, if Jesus was tired of forgiving you, Satan wouldn't be trying so hard to bring you down.

[Okami]

My professor on the Life of Christ last semester defined the unforgiveable sin as - "Ascribing the work of the Father/Son/Holy Spirit to the devil for the purpose of creating unbelief"

That being said, I think you're in good hands, trying to get back on track in your spiritual life. I'll be praying as you continue to grow. We all have doubts and frights in our walks, and I know I've been right where you are right now. Take heart, Jesus has overcome this world!

[MrKrillz0r]

Thanks guys, its all starting to make sense to me right now. I've struggled alot with this before but back then it was like evil thoughts who popped up in my head, which I still do have. But I've realised that its Satan who is trying to get me and make me feel bad. This time it was different though because it was after a prayer, something that I did by myself and not something who popped up in my head. The thing is that yesterday when I felt really down a (online)friend of mine who I've been talking to alot over the internet said that she had been to church (It was a special event.) and she really felt like she wanted to follow God. I've talked about my faith and christianity with her before but now she said that when she went to church she felt that she really wanted to follow God and live by his will. I think Satan is trying to push me away from God so that I cannot help the friend of mine to walk with God. Please pray for her to find her way to God and to overcome the devil and his tricks. Again thanks alot for helping me through this!

[Hiryu]

The bad feeling inside you is proof that Jesus is working inside you. I think the verse about the salt could have been talking about you, before you reached your decision. Jesus is trying to say that you really weren't a christian, even though you claimed to be one. You did things that were not pleasing to him and things that weren't very christian like.

Technically, there is no unforgivable sin. God can forgive any sin, even blaspheme.

See, what happens when you blaspheme is that you turn away from god. You don't want anything to do with him. Think of it this way: When you sin, you turn off the lights in a room. But if you were to truly blaspheme, you would also lock the door and never come back.

But if you were to come back and repent, God will forgive you. He can't forgive you if you pretend that he doesn't even exist.

There are angels rejoicing in heaven over your decision. Everyone slips, and has slipped, so we all need forgiveness.

Go to church, and read your bible daily. Grow close to God. I will be praying for you.

[MrKrillz0r]

I've been struggling with alot the last years and I've been feeling really bad. But at the same time before all these depressions and stuff started I was just believing in God while doing nothing at all for him. So I've really grown closer to God from the time all of these problems started but I still felt like it wasn't enough, that I wanted to become better than I was. Because I'm often scared to talk about God and Jesus in public when my friends or classmates etc hears. Because I know that they're all atheists and somehow it just scares me. But the last days I've been reading my bible more and trying to live for God. I really want to become the person God made me to be but this fear inside me for talking about Him really doesn't help so I'm working on getting rid of it. Thanks for praying for me, I really need some courage to stand up for God and I will not give up! And yeah btw I'm going to church most weeks and I'm wondering if I should attend to a church abit further away where they got a youth group and everything but to be honest I'm to scared to start to go there by myself. Although it would be fun to meet people my age who is christians aswell. Right now I'll just focus on becoming what Jesus wants me to become. Again thanks and sorry for babble on so long. ^^

[Aedin]

Honestly man, I'd say try going to that church with that youth group. If it's a good church, and a good youth group, they should help you out. And if you're scared to talk to people, in public, about God and Christianity and all that, try to see if your church, or that youth group, can organize a group that goes out and evangelizes and all. If you freeze up, someone else can start talking, and you can add in.